One partner not working through choice

Fireflyaway

I'm very lucky to have the help of my parents during school holidays but don't want to rely on them too much. It is a tricky age. Getting too old for many of the clubs. My husband might start working from home a few days a week which would help.
I think I've never felt happy in the workplace. Maybe I'm trying to avoid that rather than having a desire to be a home maker of whatever you call it! Realistically I can't see myself starting to bake and keeping the house spotless. A better work life balance is probably what I need. I've had a bad few months at work which doesn't help.

MysteryMe

Do you have any skills or interests that you could use to set up your own business working from home?

Fireflyaway

I'd love to work for myself. I have considered recruitment. I know it would be hard work but not having to work constantly alongside the same people would help. That's partly why I find work so hard. I feel like the odd one out in my workplace and just don't enjoy having to make small talk, joke about stuff that's not funny and show off my achievements whilst gossiping about other people! It's like a school for adults. I totally accept a lot of this is me not fitting in rather than it being other people's fault but regardless if makes me unhappy.

Guineapigsqueaks

I would say always earn your own money if you can. Circumstances can change very quickly. Being financially self sufficient is a huge advantage if they do x

pollypenny

You don!!!8217;t have to hoover around family - have a cleaner. This might give you that 'me time'.

Fireflyaway

I remember through work, speaking to a lady who lived in a big expensive house, millions of pounds worth of house but she was broke. Married 25 years and her husband left her. She had no income, not even her own bank account. She couldn't pay the bills and had no work experience so was finding it hard to find a job. She wanted to enrol in a computer course but had no debit card or cheque book. I guess she may have been ok post divorce but at the time she was in a real mess. Another customer had 4 kids and was a stay at home mum. Her husband died. She had never worked and with 4 kids couldn't afford childcare on her own anyway. I remember they had no heating and couldn't afford to fix it. She was so embarrassed.
So yes, things to wrong and the only way to make it a bit easier is to have a bit of independence financially and on the work front guess.

onomatopoeia99

Fireflyaway wrote: »

I feel like the odd one out in my workplace and just don't enjoy having to make small talk, joke about stuff that's not funny and show off my achievements whilst gossiping about other people!

Be a computer nerd then because we don't do any of that stuff.

cheeky-peach

Hmm... I disagree; maybe the majority don't do that stuff..

easy

Fireflyaway wrote: »

I remember through work, speaking to a lady who lived in a big expensive house, millions of pounds worth of house but she was broke. Married 25 years and her husband left her. She had no income, not even her own bank account. She couldn't pay the bills and had no work experience so was finding it hard to find a job. She wanted to enrol in a computer course but had no debit card or cheque book. I guess she may have been ok post divorce but at the time she was in a real mess. Another customer had 4 kids and was a stay at home mum. Her husband died. She had never worked and with 4 kids couldn't afford childcare on her own anyway. I remember they had no heating and couldn't afford to fix it. She was so embarrassed.
So yes, things to wrong and the only way to make it a bit easier is to have a bit of independence financially and on the work front guess.

Having insurance in place is a good thing too!

The problem is that we should balance living our lives for where we are now, without always worrying about what might happen. I know of a few people who worked very hard, lived quite frugally and put money away for when they retired - except quite soon after retirement they died (or in a couple of cases developed illness which limited what they could do).

Remember, nobody's dying words were

I wish I'd spent more time at work

!

Newly_retired

Now that I am retired, I can say that I am glad I worked and now have my own pensions.

Initially I worked whilst DH was still studying, then I became a SAHM ( at a time when everyone else did too) but a p/t job opportunity came up when my youngest was two, which I really enjoyed. It gave me back a sense of self, after being just a mum with hardly any money. It took a lot of juggling but was worth it.

Throughout my working life I have mostly worked part time, but when the opportunity came to go full time I grabbed it. By then the children were virtually grown up. Promotion followed and the chance to save.

This has taken me from being totally dependent to financially independent. Of course, we both contribute to a joint account for household bills, but apart from that, we each have money to do what we like with. Also a sense of self and fulfilment that I would never have had if I had remained dependent on my husband.

Just one regret, that I did not have enough time to spend with my parents in their old age, because I was working.

In retirement I am a creature of routine. I have my regular slots in the week for voluntary work, choirs, family and friends.

But my daughter has given up a very demanding full time job for part time self employment. I know she would not go back to her old life.
I hope this is food for thought.