Renting to a boyfriend?

pinkshoes

Daddy's Girl, I think you should turn this round the other way:

If you got pregnant and were in rented accomodation, then moved in with the father of your child, into HIS house that HE owned, and paid him rent for X years. So after X years, you split up, and he kicks you out of HIS house, and despite you having paid rent for X years, thus helping him out with his mortgage, you are entitled to nothing, would you not feel really !!!!ed off?!?!

On the other hand, from reading your other posts, this guy certainly doesn't sound right for you, so I wouldn't even let him move in in the first place. This could be a BIG mistake, not only because he will be entitled to a share of your property should you split (a share, not half, depending on current equity), but also because you don't seem to actually want to be with him that much...

Just because you're having a baby together, doesn't mean he has to move in with you!

moneysavinmonkey

mkbean wrote: »

Unfortunately i think most of the useful advice has been lost in a sea of judgemental replies.

I would have liked to have known the answer as i may soon be in a similar position.

Exactly. Very early on I asked why people were posting things which weren't helping the OP.

I really don't think that an internet forum about houses is really the place to give your opinion on how you think someone (who you don't know) should conduct their relationship.

The OP has never reposted but if they are still reading I would wish them well and tell them not to take notice of some of the unwelcome judgements on here.. as cowbutt says - each to their own. good luck.

zfrl

Maybe the boyfriend could move in & if they split could get custody of the child & the house for the next 18 years!

jezmyers

wow there are a lot of jugemental people on here.

For the record, I am in a similar position with my gf so will explain and then let you all take your pot shots.

I own my house, bought 3.5 years ago and have consequently made a bit of money on it. As my work is erratic, rent out the second bedroom (to a friend) to help cover the costs, pay for items for the house, pay for decorating the property. Recently, my girlfriend of just under a year, became pregnant. We're very very happy together.

I made the decision that, due to my gf living some distance away, and having a baby on the way, my friend would move out and my gf would move in.

Now, as far as I'm concerned, my gf is taking over from where my friend was renting. I don't see why it's any different because we're together. However, I am interested in what would happen if we were to split. I want to make this very clear. We are happy, we are together, I have no reason whatsoever to think that we will split. Unfortunately, I cannot see into the future, I can't see if something will happen down the line to halt the relationship and, let's be honest here, couples do break up. This isn't about the child, I would always make sure that my child was adequately provided for.

Why would I not want to protect my asset in case of a break up? Why is this showing lack of faith in the relationship? It's not in the slightest, it's taking a "hope for the best, prepare for the worst" attitude.

Surely, if I thought that by having her move in would be a case of giving up part of the property in return for what is effectively rent, it would more sensible to let her get a council/HA based property, claim housing benefit and for me to continue to rent out the second bedroom in my property for more "rent" than she would be paying/able to afford?

I have full faith in my relationship but I see no harm in protecting my assets.

GoToGal

jezmyers wrote: »

wow there are a lot of jugemental people on here.

For the record, I am in a similar position with my gf so will explain and then let you all take your pot shots.

I own my house, bought 3.5 years ago and have consequently made a bit of money on it. As my work is erratic, rent out the second bedroom (to a friend) to help cover the costs, pay for items for the house, pay for decorating the property. Recently, my girlfriend of just under a year, became pregnant. We're very very happy together.

I made the decision that, due to my gf living some distance away, and having a baby on the way, my friend would move out and my gf would move in.

Now, as far as I'm concerned, my gf is taking over from where my friend was renting. I don't see why it's any different because we're together. However, I am interested in what would happen if we were to split. I want to make this very clear. We are happy, we are together, I have no reason whatsoever to think that we will split. Unfortunately, I cannot see into the future, I can't see if something will happen down the line to halt the relationship and, let's be honest here, couples do break up. This isn't about the child, I would always make sure that my child was adequately provided for.

Why would I not want to protect my asset in case of a break up? Why is this showing lack of faith in the relationship? It's not in the slightest, it's taking a "hope for the best, prepare for the worst" attitude.

Surely, if I thought that by having her move in would be a case of giving up part of the property in return for what is effectively rent, it would more sensible to let her get a council/HA based property, claim housing benefit and for me to continue to rent out the second bedroom in my property for more "rent" than she would be paying/able to afford?

I have full faith in my relationship but I see no harm in protecting my assets.

How does your GF feel about this? I think that's the most important question really.

Melissa177

A girlfriend is very different from a lodger.

If I was your girlfriend, carrying your child, I would be pretty upset that I was being treated as a lodger.

jezmyers

GoToGal wrote: »

How does your GF feel about this? I think that's the most important question really.

If you're asking how she feels about renting part of the property, she is more than happy to do so. It's less than she was paying down south, she gets to see me more often etc...

With regards to how she would feel about signing a contract giving away her rights if we were to break up. Knowing my gf she'll be fine with it and, to be honest, I doubt that her "getting a share of the property if we break up" hadn't crossed her mind any more than it had mine. This was that it hadn't until I read this thread! I'll let you all know later tonight when i've discussed it with her.

jezmyers

Melissa177 wrote: »

A girlfriend is very different from a lodger.

If I was your girlfriend, carrying your child, I would be pretty upset that I was being treated as a lodger.

This is very true. Does that mean that the solution would be for her to move closer to me but into council/HA property (thereby reducing the available stock by 1, spending more of your tax money on her housing benefit and increased benefits) and for me to continue to rent out the spare room to a friend until we've come to a point where we decide to get married?

I'm very happy living with her but I wouldn't confuse that with thinking that I was any more or less happy when I was renting out the room to someone else.

duchy

I think the big question is-if the OP wasn't pregnant-would her boyfriend be moving in ?

moneysavinmonkey

Melissa177 wrote: »

If I was your girlfriend, carrying your child, I would be pretty upset that I was being treated as a lodger.

but the point is that you are not his girlfriend, - maybe his girlfriend grew up singing Independent woman by destinsy's child! Some people have very 'tradional' view about relationships and finances others don't want that.

My own personal take on it is that financially I would prefer to keep my independence than split everything 50/50... does that mean my relationship is any less valid or stable than someone who pools their earnings/assets? I would argue if anything me and my partner know where we stand and are less likely to ever have any 'money-type' arguments.

But importantly i'm able to comprehend that the way we do things wouldn't suit everyone and isn't the best or only way to do things. Various people have suggested the OP should talk to her BF about his expectations on moving in... I think this is the best advice.