Renting to a boyfriend?

Libra1975

Curv wrote: »

But most people who are renting don't share a bed in the rented property with the landlord.

True, but I'm not sure if that is really relevant to the argument.

I just don't understand the negativity around what the OP is trying to do.
As they are not married but are having a child she is the one who assumes parental responsibilty and if he leaves, well the CSA haven't been much use have they! I just think under these circumstances she is right to try and protect her main asset.

This is the best advice so far:
"It is possible to draw up a cohabitation agreement to confirm the common intention of the unmarried couple. The couple should each seek independent legal advice, preferably from a specialist family solicitor, to ensure that an appropriate binding agreement is prepared."

JohnInDebt

Libra1975 wrote: »

again why is sorting finances out now the worst possible basis for a relationship?

I am buying a house with my other half and we are going tennants-in-common rather than joint tenancy, does this some how devalue our relationship?

OP have a look at this:
http://www.lawontheweb.co.uk/basics/cohabit.htm

There is nothing wrong with this especially if one partner is 'investing' a much larger sum than the other. But it doesn't bode well for the relationship if you are already thinking about who gets what when you split up.

Curv

Libra1975 wrote: »

True, but I'm not sure if that is really relevant to the argument.

Libra1975 wrote: »

I just don't understand the negativity around what the OP is trying to do.

The fact that the tenant and landlord are sleeping together in the 'rented' property may not be relevant to the legal position but I think it goes a long way to explaining the negativity.

1. It's an odd thing to happen between a couple under any circumstances.

2. It's even odder considering the fact that they have already made the biggest commitment to each other that any couple can make i.e. creating a new life for which they are both equally responsible. Creating a tenancy agreement for a bloke who got you up the duff smacks a little of shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted

People will always be judgmental - me included. It's human nature. It's for the OP to do what she thinks is right

macaque_2

Libra1975 wrote: »

why is being sensible and sorting things out properly making a bad decision???

Daddy's girl (the name says it all) is not 'sorting things out properly'. She is making plans for a breakup with her boyfriend before he has even moved in. Apparantly we have the unhappiest children in the developed world. With adults treating relationships so flippantly, can it be any surprise.

LandyAndy

moneysavinmonkey wrote: »

That's all fine, so why haven't you offered her some sensible advice????

Don't do it.

roses

Given the number of divorces in this country, I can't blame her for wanting to protect her assets!

Anyone here divorced?

Did you wish you had an agreement in place before you got divorced?

Better safe than sorry and if you are with someone who agrees with your principles then who are we to judge?

Libra1975

JohnInDebt wrote: »

There is nothing wrong with this especially if one partner is 'investing' a much larger sum than the other. But it doesn't bode well for the relationship if you are already thinking about who gets what when you split up.

Lets not do a poll on how many people on MSE are divorced now and yet thought their marriage was going to last forever on the way to the church.
Isn't it better for the OP and her other half to organise things properly now rather than when they are only talking thru soliciters. Isn't the fact they are talking about it now a sign of maturity rather than pink clouded romance?

moneysavinmonkey

LandyAndy wrote: »

Don't do it.

yeay!
Nearly there... what would you advise the OP to do instead?

Curv

Libra1975 wrote: »

Isn't the fact they are talking about it now a sign of maturity rather than pink clouded romance?

Personally, I see it as a lack of faith in their relationship. The world would be a much nicer place if there was a bit more 'pink clouded romance' and a bit less 'who gets what'. But that's just me.

If the OP really thinks that her relationship with the father of her unborn child may falter then of course she is doing the right thing (for her and the child) by making provision for that event. But there is something about the tone of her post that makes me think she sees a break up almost as a foregone conclusion and it's that I find disturbing.

There's no law that says you have to move in together just because you get pregnant... maybe living apart is the best solution until the OP feels a little more confident about the relationship.

LandyAndy

moneysavinmonkey wrote: »

yeay!
Nearly there... what would you advise the OP to do instead?

Treat you're OH as an equal not as some second class disposable adjunct.