Renting to a boyfriend?

tr3mor

moneysavinmonkey wrote: »

yeay!
Nearly there... what would you advise the OP to do instead?

That her and the OH both contribute fairly to the household and family costs.

If the mother of any future child intended to draw up a contract so that I could have the luxury of renting a place in the family home, I'd be eyeing up the hoover or the stairs and running for the hills.

tr3mor

LandyAndy wrote: »

Treat you're OH as an equal not as some second class disposable adjunct.

Haven't you heard? That's exactly what Dad's are! :mad:

moneysavinmonkey

macaque wrote: »

Daddy's girl (the name says it all) is not 'sorting things out properly'. She is making plans for a breakup with her boyfriend before he has even moved in. Apparantly we have the unhappiest children in the developed world. With adults treating relationships so flippantly, can it be any surprise.

how does the OP and her boyfriend sorting out their financial independence/co-dependence automatically 'doom' their relationship!!

If you buy home insurance it doesn't automatically mean your house will burn down or be robbed!!

Libra1975

Curv wrote: »

Personally, I see it as a lack of faith in their relationship. The world would be a much nicer place if there was a bit more 'pink clouded romance' and a bit less 'who gets what'. But that's just me.

If the OP really thinks that her relationship with the father of her unborn child may falter then of course she is doing the right thing (for her and the child) by making provision for that event. But there is something about the tone of her post that makes me think she sees a break up almost as a foregone conclusion and it's that I find disturbing.

There's no law that says you have to move in together just because you get pregnant... maybe living apart is the best solution until the OP feels a little more confident about the relationship.

You know what I don't disagree with any of your post, in fact I too wish there was a bit more pink clouded romance as well but until there are more people like Billie Piper who walk away from marriages claiming nothing and fewer people like Heather McCartney who think they are owed the world then unfortunatly the grey cloud of realism needs to prevail. However I don't think my tennants-in-common or the OP trying to sort out her finances means the relationship is doomed to failure it just means that if the absolute worse-case scenario happens then the situation isn't made worse by a messy protracted fight over money.

LandyAndy

When I met the current Mrs LA in 1989 I had a chunk of money from the sale of the previous marital home, she was one year out of College and had nothing. I bought a house for the two of us and wouldn't put her on the deeds as joint owner. I only did this in 2001. I didn't do it sooner because of the selfish person I was. Because I am now no longer that person I can see why it was bad idea and if I had my time again I would have shared it with her from the start.

moneysavinmonkey

LandyAndy wrote: »

Treat you're OH as an equal not as some second class disposable adjunct.

How the OP only asks their OH for a contribute their share of the bills and then doesn't ask for anything towards the mortgage costs?

At the moment, I think this is a relatively new relationship so they can always revisit their arrangements at a later date.

tr3mor

moneysavinmonkey wrote: »

how does the OP and her boyfriend sorting out their financial independence/co-dependence automatically 'doom' their relationship!!

If you buy home insurance it doesn't automatically mean your house will burn down or be robbed!!

I just find it wrong that the OP is considering drawing up a contract to charge the father of her child rent.

tr3mor

moneysavinmonkey wrote: »

How the OP only asks their OH for a contribute their share of the bills and then doesn't ask for anything towards the mortgage costs?

At the moment, I think this is a relatively new relationship so they can always revisit their arrangements at a later date.

Of course he should contribute. It shouldn't have to be drawn up in a contract that he pays £xxx per month rent.

What if he refuses to pay? Is she going to evict him?

moneysavinmonkey

LandyAndy wrote: »

When I met the current Mrs LA in 1989 I had a chunk of money from the sale of the previous marital home, she was one year out of College and had nothing. I bought a house for the two of us and wouldn't put her on the deeds as joint owner. I only did this in 2001. I didn't do it sooner because of the selfish person I was. Because I am now no longer that person I can see why it was bad idea and if I had my time again I would have shared it with her from the start.

Hi, that's really nice of you to share you previous experience with the OP, this is the kind of useful contribution that I was cross that you left out before!
Could I ask - why was it a bad idea not putting your (then girlfriend)wife on the deeds earlier - did this cause problems between you at all?

I'm pleased everything worked out well between you, but I do wonder if you would have felt differently about your decision if things hadn't...

tsstss7

Hello again having read the previous posts I think I'll also put in a few more opinions of my own.

I agree with posts above that say this may well not be the best attitude to have when setting up home with someone. As a previous poster mentioned there is no law saying that you MUSTco-habit in any sort of relationship (it has become more common and I've met couples with kids who get along very nicely like this for one reason or another - not financial I might add) and it is not so easy to protect your full ownership of a house when you have children involved (btw as long as the dad is on the birth cert he will automatically get parental responsibility).

Presumably he will be the majority bread winner during her maternity leave and as a "lodger" could only reasonably be asked for the going rate of rent plus his share of bills/food/child costs etc...is this going to be enough to cover all household expences? To ask for more in these circumstances would be unfair - if he is not building up equity an investment then he shouldn't have to stump up more towards that investment.

I wouldn't enter into such an arrangment - it's all in or nothing for me - however I might agree to sequester any equity my partner already had and start as of there - that way they get to keep what they came in with etc.

btw It is all very well to compare this to the billie piper - heather mills saga's but they are both very diff senarios BP was young enough for it to make very little impact on her future so could afford to walk away with nothing. HM has a child and her husband would have been perfectly aware of how to protect his assets if he wanted to do so he was hardly a naive youngster!