Can we stop employees from having direct contact?

Tigsteroonie

I would have said that it's a private matter, and would not fall under any of the activities that would lead to disciplinary action from an employer.

That's just my opinion.

Wyndham

undercoverirish wrote: »

No I!!!8217;m not trying to still discipline here, that!!!8217;s been misunderstood.

I!!!8217;m trying to simply understand would I have to discipline her if it turned out that they!!!8217;d been mutually texting and then he told her to stop and then she will continued

But you don't know that is what happened. For all you know he could have been contacting her, she asked him to stop, and he didn't. Until you've investigated, you're just guessing. And all your guessing seems to come down to him being right and her being wrong.

NeilCr

Can I suggest you leave it till you speak to your HR advisers tomorrow?

Presumably (?) you are going to take their advice - after all that's what you are paying them for. So debating it with people on a forum who a) don't know the full story and b) may or may not know what they are talking about seems rather pointless. To me anyway.

And nothing you can do about it today.

happyandcontented

undercoverirish wrote: »

No I!!!8217;m not trying to still discipline here, that!!!8217;s been misunderstood.

I!!!8217;m trying to simply understand would I have to discipline her if it turned out that they!!!8217;d been mutually texting and then he told her to stop and then she will continued

Why would you have to do anything?

The professional relationship has evolved into a personal one, unless you have written rules that were pointed out on commencement of employment re that kind of thing (some companies do) then it is an entirely private matter especially as you admit it is not affecting their work.

Smodlet

OP, when you are in a hole, it is advisable to stop digging. You must be able to wave to New Zealand by now. Get a clue! "You don't understand what it has to do with the law"? Read the effing link, !!!!!!!

[Deleted User]

Why are you so determined to 'discipline' this lady when you have already said you might have not understood the situation? You said 3 contacts in 7 months? It was a personal thing, between this man and woman. It is for this man to take action, not you. And I don't think he has a chance in hell myself. Its not like she was sending hundreds of texts a day.

It really is sounding like discrimination, and without policies in place (as per the links) you could find yourself in trouble. Nothing about disciplining the gentleman or questioning how he or any of her colleagues behave at all, which is her point. You seem supremely unwilling to see the real picture, and where the problems lie. Over 180 posts, all saying the same thing and you still aren't taking it on board.

Smodlet

There is one word with which I take issue in your last post, deannatrois, and that is "gentleman". This adjective patently does not apply to the individual in question any more than it does to any other male working in this antediluvian establishment, or so it would seem. If it did, this situation would never have arisen in the first place.

Why is the "blame" automatically assigned to the female employee for no other reason than that she pees sitting down? You don't have a hope in hell of avoiding a discrimination claim, OP, and as I said before, I hope she hangs you out to dry.

Mojisola

deannatrois wrote: »

It really is sounding like discrimination, and without policies in place (as per the links) you could find yourself in trouble.

Nothing about disciplining the gentleman or questioning how he or any of her colleagues behave at all, which is her point.

You seem supremely unwilling to see the real picture, and where the problems lie.

This kind of thing has happened so many times over the years as women moved into previously all-male companies - usually with the result that everyone agrees things were fine before 'that woman' was employed and any other woman applying to work at the same firm stands no chance of getting offered a job.

sgun

Pretty much the exact same thing happened to a friend of mine a few years back. Only difference was that the relationship had progressed to an affair. Wife found out, phoned their manager (small company, same office) the man completely denied everything and said my friend had been harassing him, sending private messages etc. Friend was disciplined, within the small office this was no secret and completely undermined her position. She left, took them to tribunal for constructive dismissal. She went down the sex discrimination route as although she had messages from the man proving he was involved their manager ignored them and played down the man's actions as "boys will be boys".

She won and was awarded 5 months wages plus all legal costs. The legal costs were eyewatering.

Why are you so sure your male employee is telling the truth? What if he is lying? Do you honestly think your female employee will want to continue to work for you? You sound like you tolerate and even condone "banter" that crosses a line and should have no place in any workplace regardless of who is present. This might blow your mind but lots of men, sometimes even those who are "one of the lads", find that sort of talk unpleasant. I bet you anything your female employee has spent the weekend recording other sexist things you have said and done (like referring to her as "the girl") so that she has evidence, albeit anecdotal.

The fact that there was no investigation prior to disciplinary action puts you in a very bad position and gives your female employee even more leverage. Is there anyone who would be able to represent your company in any legal matters better than yourself? i.e. someone who doesn't hold sexist views?

undercoverirish

I didn’t meant for it to come across that I was still trying to discipline the woman !!!129320; that’s really not what I was getting at. What I was trying to understand was the law around the fact there had been mutual texting happening and now one party wants it to stop (let’s face it... one or two messages really isn’t harassment).

I know there has been previous cases where it was ok to discipline for outside behaviour but that might be more if it was bringing the company into disrepute.

We don’t have a policy that relates to personal relationships if they develop between colleagues. And we don’t have a policy relating to the use of their work telephones or laptops either. We allow personal useage as I mentioned before.

I’ll get the HR person tomorrow and see what they advise.

I really do hope she wants to continue as I think I can at least try to repair this. If she does look to go down the legal route, I’ll have to get a solicitor involved I suppose. We have someone we use for commercial stuff but not sure if they also do employment law