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Can we stop employees from having direct contact?
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undercoverirish wrote: »We do try to do things right and keep the staff happy, and we do try to do it on a budget. However I don!!!8217;t want to end up fighting a legal battle either over something I should have done but didn!!!8217;t do.
Certainly HR advice and training is needed, but also whats apparent in the posts you've made so far is that you treat most of the people you work with as friends.
As a manager/owner etc you simply cannot afford to do that. Not in working hours.
There are great things to be said for family run businesses, but this is not an uncommon issue with this sort of set up.
Its great when a workplace has a 'Warm, friendly environment'. I personally think people work better and harder when thats the case. But theres a difference between a friendly environment and being everyones friend.
I'm not saying that you need to become a dictator or that you need to enforce strict rules on your staff. You can have that friendly environment but you have to distance yourself from it.
If I were you I'd be looking at some training, not just for me but for my staff.
But for you I'd say you need the training asap, even if there is a cost. It's an investment for the business in the long run.
If the business can not sustain the cost then at the very least try and update your own knowledge until such a time as the business can afford it.
A quick Google search has thrown these up
https://alison.com/courses/human-resources
Its not a substitute for a proper training course or professional advice, both of which I think you now realise you desperately need, but better than doing nothing.
Definitely get some professional advice, and if this female employee is a valuable member of the team as you have suggested then you need to make sure she knows this. As others have said, no matter if the employee is male or female, what they've been subject to could have lasting effects. Not only with trust of their colleagues and management, but also loss of confidence, and possibly issues with mental health.
You certainly have a big repair job on your hands, but hopefully it should be possible for all parties to resolve.
As for the other employee, they themselves need a talking to and being told that their actions as well as yours have directly caused this issue. Potentially I would look at disciplinary action of some sort and maybe even a direct apology to the female member of staff who has been unfairly used as a scapegoat by a weak, pitiful excuse for a man using her as an excuse for his marriage failings.
From what you've posted I would think she might have a claim for discrimination/unfair or constructive dismissal if she were to go simply because I dont think you would have acted the same way with a male employee and have simply assumed she was the one in the wrong, without investigation, because she is a woman.
You might not have intentionally acted this way, but if this is the case then not only do you need to look at your companies internal procedures but if it were me I'd be looking at my own personal prejudices that you might not have realised that you carry.
so if you are true to your word and she is a good employee that you want to retain then you have to make it right somehow.[SIZE=-1]To equate judgement and wisdom with occupation is at best . . . insulting.
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jungle_jane wrote: »I'm not sure i'd believe a word this guys says TBH. I'd take his "she likes me" comment with a massive pinch of salt.
I was just about to post the same thing.
This guy is clearly (if a little late) attempting to repair his marriage.
If his wife is upset at a phone call she's overheard between him and his friend he clearly (to me) wasnt telling his mate that he was wanting the contact to stop. He also hasnt discussed with his wife that a girl at work is coming onto him and he's worried about it.
Depending on a persons relationship it what a normal person would do. I cartainly WOULD tell my wife if someone was making unwanted approaches simply because we have a very trusting relationship and as I've not done anything to encourage it ir acted upon it I and my wife have nothing to be worried about.
Clearly his wife has heard something much different on that phone call.
You also dont know whether he/his wife/both have agreed that it would be better if this young lady didnt work there anymore. Maybe to remove temptation/doubt/both.
IF and its a big IF you are even considering accepting this mans excuses you must have PROOF, and it must be absolute, undeniable, PROOF of wrongdoing entirely if her making.
If you dont have that I'd be very very wary of whatever is said.
Ultimately I would suggest that ALL staff, including ALL management are provided with/reminded of the companies Code of Conduct.
If you don't have one, get one and get it put in place as soon as possible.
Maybe duscuss with the HR company the possibility of telling the female employee that you apologise, making sure that she knows you are sorry and that you have made mistakes which you want to rectify, and to make sure tgat she knows she is appreciated and is a valuable member of staff, invite her to be involved with the setting up of your Code if Conduct. Tell her you want her input. Ask her if she can recommend anyone else to be involved in the process.
That way, as well as acknowledging that you've acted like a plank, you are putting some of doubts to rest that you do appreciate her work, her imput, etc. Things like this can go a long way to recovering the lost trust she now undoubtedly has of you, her colleagues, the business.
Maybe then, if she is involved with this and does provide a lot of input/work etc, offer her a bonus payment for this work, a performance bonus type of thing and put together a certificate.
Things like this are appreciated by staff.[SIZE=-1]To equate judgement and wisdom with occupation is at best . . . insulting.
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If she is smart she will be keeping her cards face down.
You still only have one side of the story.
You have no idea what has been sent to her by any of your employees.
By using the no contact "anyone" message you have opened the scope to everyone not just the one employee that raised the issue.0 -
It's hard to take the OP's insistence that he wants to remedy the endemic sexism in his workplace seriously when he refers to his sole female employee as "the girl".0
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I refuse to accept that anyone involved in something like this would make this number of posts about it as the situation was ongoing. It's not believable.0
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ScorpiondeRooftrouser wrote: »I refuse to accept that anyone involved in something like this would make this number of posts about it as the situation was ongoing. It's not believable.
Must admit I was thinking much the same as this unfolded on Friday. New poster who suddenly decided MSE's employment forum was the place to debate this. I'd have been on the phone - not emailing - to the HR company. Failing that I'd have been in contact with somewhere like ACAS0 -
I agree.., training needed for everyone on what is appropriate communication and what isn't.
If people are using your work platform for laddish comments.., I'm sorry but its inappropriate. Its not fun, its just crass and 'not work'. it was an incident looking for a place to happen.
I am sure you aren't, but the way you are writing and reacting you sound very young yourself. It might be a good idea to get some good solid training yourself, so you can understand what happened, and why it shouldn't have even begun to start some time ago (you said you noticed some flirting). You can have fun.., but you can also have professional. The danger is when fun gets in the way of work, as this clearly has. Work is not a school room where kids are still learning what is appropriate. By not controlling what happens and setting limits, its exploded.
You are panicking and that panic is getting in the way of analysing what went on and why it was wrong for your business so you really can learn from the experience and make sure it doesn't happen again.
Like a rule saying no personal comments can be made on the work platform is a good start. No insults, banter, that kind of thing. Its just not constructive. Its not fun, its idiotic.
https://www.seatons.co.uk/banter-workplace/
http://smallbusiness.co.uk/when-does-workplace-banter-turn-into-a-claim-against-a-business-2453252/
Personally I would thank the newer employee and say that you realise changes need to be made and they will be made for a more constructive work environment.
I realise that this issue occurred initially because of unwanted contact from one employee to another, but there was a lack of recognition of what is acceptable in the workplace that led to this. And I expect banter does take place too from what you have said.
I remember many years ago being told at interview they were looking for someone that would be ok working in an environment where things got heated at times and I would be shouted at and sworn at. Its like there was nothing wrong with that behaviour, they just needed an employee that would submit to that kind of attitude. Needless to say, I didn't take the job. Their faces when I politely told them that that kind of attitude just wasn't acceptable lol!0 -
PM'd me for advice on Friday; didn't respond or say thank you, hasn't thanked anyone on the thread that I can see? Never a great sign.2021 GC £1365.71/ £24000
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ScorpiondeRooftrouser wrote: »I refuse to accept that anyone involved in something like this would make this number of posts about it as the situation was ongoing. It's not believable.
Ditto this.
I was half expecting the OP's final post to be he'd done the honourable thing and resigned and gone to join the French Foreign Legion in the 19th century.Originally Posted by shortcrust
"Contact the Ministry of Fairness....If sufficient evidence of unfairness is discovered you’ll get an apology, a permanent contract with backdated benefits, a ‘Let’s Make it Fair!’ tshirt and mug, and those guilty of unfairness will be sent on a Fairness Awareness course."0
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