The long haul supporters thread...

Happytogetdebtfree

Hi babyplum and clare, lovely to see you both, yay on the new sofa 80/20 rule after all sipping tea and off to bed .... babyplum you read my mind on the oh its like mothering sometimes it drives me insane ... il catch up better tomorrow goodnight all xx

talisker78

Thanks Babyplum - and good on you for getting the couch- we have to live after all, despite the debt we have. Good bargain you got though.... wouldn't have minded that one myself!

We (and in that I mean men/husbands/OH/'them') are generally not great with money. I was REALLY REALLY bad and unfortunately it rubbed off on my OH and she got bad spending habits, resulting in the fine mess we are in now. Generally, I find once you deprive yourself of something you take for granted, it soon makes you realise you have to change your ways - just so you can get it back! One example - in the good old days I used to treat myself to one of those massive £20 boxes of Thortons chocolates every month (yes, i am male... i know!)....I can't even remember what that used to be like, although i just remember it being wonderful! I guess my dentists is happier now though.....

Its terrible now because I have gone totally the other way and now I get really pernickity (spelling?!) with the smallest things. The situation is now that my OH tells me whenever she buys something and tells me the deal she got, the money off, etc. Its terrible, because I never asked her to do that, neither did I want to get into that situation where she has to justify buying things to me, and whilst I like to know where the money is going, I would rather she just spent it on what she needs and didn't tell me - I do trust her after all, but I guess it makes her feel better and feel like she is contributing to the big 'debtbust'. I guess it would just be nice to be able to enjoy money again, but that will be a long time coming. For me, my long term goal is having the majority of my debt paid off by the time the kids go to school - so 4/5 years. I don't mind myself going without, but not them.

Oh dear - that has been a rather depressing post tonight. Apologies for that!

Keep the faith everyone and especial good luck with your DMP clareb. Is especial a word? Did i just make that up? Hmm.....

Remember - one day this will all seem like a bad dream. We have the rest of our lives to enjoy and I will not let debt ruin it.

In_Search_Of_Me

Evening all. Sorry youve had a tough time talisker - onward and upward. We should be debt free at about same time!
Been a crappy df couple of months and must get back on track. Now back in work so way more spent on petrol which isnt good, although i get some of it back in expenses; also had to get new clothes as wardrobe from semi smart to jeans which cost a fair bit. Need to sit down and work out whats what and start afresh...again!

Happytogetdebtfree

Hey tal, nice to see you posting everything you said makes total sense i know its like a constant reminder of our situation, i do the exact same with my oh i tell him what ive spent more out of guilt sometimes but more that i just feel like i should not spend on myself and i dont do it too often im talking eyebrow waxes rather than gucci handbags but i suppose this situation has pushed us like this and i dont really like it so im going back to the t harv eker way of using the jar system and im having a play account where i can spoil myself and not feel bad and at the same time make a differance in my figures. now that you have a goal of how long you want it to take it seems the jar system may be more appropriate to you

i have been thinking more about children but would like abit more stability and tbh the outlays enitially are abit scary id need a new car all baby stuff etc but thats by the by what i mean is i dont like how hight our outgoings are and i need to address that ..... i have a jar for long term spends called paid in full i need to start chucking into that i also have an financial freedom jar i need to get my positive focus back ...

dont feel bad for venting depressing posts it seems sundays really take the toll on the mind and the soul lets have a group hug xx x

Soma

Hi all
I had a fabulous birthday yesterday thank you
I have paid my natwest loan off hurrah!
I love reading everyone's posts they are so inspirational
I really like your post Talisker - I didn't find it depressing just inspirational to try and beat this mountain.

Happytogetdebtfree

Happy Birthday Soma for yesterday glad you had a great time and even more great news on paying the loan off this should feel fantastic we have just got to keep going

Morning Talisker i saw your green light on coffee ?
x

talisker78

Hello HPGDF - yes I was online briefly this morning. Making a concerted effort to check in and post when I can!

I read what you said about having kids. I do agree and element of stability is good, but trust me, you will never be able to afford kids. Even if you had £1 milliion pounds....well, maybe not that much....even if you didn't have debt you still can't afford kids. The reality is you just make do with what you can and there is always a way round things. Its been an interesting year squeezing money to make ends meet and it will get even more interesting with the next one on the way, but as long as you can get food, nappies and clothes the rest can wait. Little ones just want to be with you and don't care what car you have - if you even have a car - or where you go on holiday - if you even go on holiday - they're quite happy tagging along to the park and chasing leaves. Which can also be frankly hilarous for you as well.....or is that just me....?! Then there are loads of baby groups around, most of which are free and those that aren't only cost £1 a time. The kids get to play together, you get out the house and meet other mums (and dads). It frankly amazed me how much support there is out there if you just have a quick look around, and so much of it is free..... well, lets hope it stays free after the spending review next month....shiver.....

If you want to have kids, just do it - trust me! Once they get to school it starts to get more expensive and by that time I want to be reasonably debt free (ie with no more than £6000 or £7000 left - manageable debt, if there is such a thing) and then we can enjoy holidays and they can go on school trips etc. Until then, its a good time to debtbust. With little ones, you can't go anywhere anyway - no nights out, no meals out (not that I do that anyway you understand!) - so once they go to bed there isn't anyhting else to do but ebay or whatever.

Sorry, on another one of my 'rants'! I would honestly say though once you are ready to have kids, just do it!

Happy birthday Soma - hope you had a lovely day and VERY well done for paying off your loan. Such a satisfying moment!

Hope everyone else is ok and keeping their heads above water.....

Happytogetdebtfree

Evening Tal, makes perfect sense and your right maybe its just not the right time for me or i would not be creating obstacles lol another 12 months and il see howi feel unless an accident occurs

How are you this fine evening ?> have you tried memorgirls blog ? go to her profile contact info and review her blog the mini challenge excersises aregreat for making you flow with positivity x

talisker78

Hello,

I'm good, just relaxing for the first time today! How are you? How do I access the blogs?

Happytogetdebtfree

go to memorygirls diary click on her name
go to profile infact hang on il brb