Spousal maintenance

elsien

Just because her solicitor is requesting it doesn't mean she would be awarded it. That's why you have your own solicitor - what advice have they given you?
You're going to have to try mediation before taking it to court though. A refusal to do so will be held against you.
Is there agreement on other areas such as pension, child maintenance etc? Could you agree a lump sum instead. How long does she want spousal maintenance for - if agreed it would generally be time limited.

If both people have moved on and have new partners, and the ex is in work so doesn't need time to retrain/learn new skills then wanting spousal maintenance doesn't seem entirely neccessary.

elsien

Mr.Grey wrote: »

?????? What do you mean by "8217"

Forum glitch - it's replacing apostrophes with numbers for some people.

thorsoak

Mr.Grey wrote: »

That may be the case, but who would decide how much it will be. I want to getter a bigger house as my new partner has 2 children and when mine stay with me as well they can have a lovely home to stay in. I can make sure that when they are with me they want for nothing. I will need a bigger car for a larger family and I don't see why I should skimp so that she can stay at home for some of the week when I have to work for us all. Thanks for your input though.

So your new partner has two children ....is she receiving child maintenance for them from their father? Has your ex-wife also got a new partner? It doesn't sound like it.

You do sound extremely bitter - and as you have moved on, I fail to see why you are so. And your comment "I want to get a bigger house" brings to mind a comment that my mother would use to us - which is "I want doesn't get"!.

elsien

OPs wife also has a new partner, if I've read the first post right.

Going to court will cost you. You need to work out whether forking out court costs for the sake of standing on a principle/digging your heels in is worth the cost in the long run, both financially and in terms of your relationship with your ex because you still have children together.
Both of you need to compromise unless one is being completely unreasonable. And sometimes then, if it's easier on balance to walk away. So give mediation a proper go and see where it gets you.

seashore22

The op thanked me for my post. :rotfl:

Mr.Grey

No my current partner doesn't get money, she had a settlement, which we want to use to buy a big house. She is NOT having any of my pension, I am allowing 50/50 on the sale of the house,, that's all. She does have a new partner, but they don't live together, she say's she doesn't want to rush into that. I don't allow him in the house as I pay the mortgage even though it's jointly owned. She stays with him when I have the kids.
My solicitor says I can refuse spousal maintenance and make her take me to court, I don't see the point of mediation as I am not agreeing to anything other than access and house sale.

Mr.Grey

seashore22 wrote: »

The op thanked me for my post. :rotfl:

I was being sarcastic!

seashore22

Deleted_User wrote: »

Mr Grey, you won!!!8217;t get a balanced discussion on here with regards to divorce...
It can be very one sided the UK divorce laws, I!!!8217;m with you, spousal maintenance is a disgrace and can be expensive if your partner plays the system right.

Speaking for myself any negative posts the op gets are purely down to his attitude to his (ex) wife. He needs a big house and to play lord bountiful to his children while his wife gets the daily grind of trying to cope on a small wage and possibly benefits.

As another poster said it's sad when two people, who were presumably in love and had nearly a decade together and two small children, are reduced to talking about each other like this.

Mupette

Mr.Grey wrote: »

No my current partner doesn't get money, she had a settlement, which we want to use to buy a big house. She is NOT having any of my pension, I am allowing 50/50 on the sale of the house,, that's all. She does have a new partner, but they don't live together, she say's she doesn't want to rush into that. I don't allow him in the house as I pay the mortgage even though it's jointly owned. She stays with him when I have the kids.
My solicitor says I can refuse spousal maintenance and make her take me to court, I don't see the point of mediation as I am not agreeing to anything other than access and house sale.

If your ex wife has asked for mediation and you flatly refuse, I do believe she can take you to the cleaners.

Did your ex wife take a new lover whilst married to you? Think this is a reason for your nastiness, you sound like my ex husband, i didn't take a lover, i just asked for a divorce because i refused to be his punchbag anymore, we have 1 child, when he moved out he took everything, left a microwave for me to heat meals for our son, all because i fell out of love with a bully.

elsien

You can't refuse the negotiate on the pension /any other assets. If it goes to court then they'll go in the pot whether you like it or not.
You're now losing any sympathy I might have had.