Prosperous soul in the making

savingholmes · 24 November 2019 at 9:45PM

Didn't do painting or the Christmas tree. DH did however get rid of a desk I've had about 20 years to the tip together with its glass top. He also ditched DD's damaged chest of drawers. Really shocked at how much clutter has rematerialised in my study - but don't quite have the energy to do anything more about it yet. Currently obsessing over DD's appointment tomorrow instead.

Having splurged more than intended in 1k3a - really fighting the urge to continue spending on a new bed, redecorating, a new bathroom cabinet and the like... Trying to resist. For me Xmas present shopping also opens a door best left shut so problematic. My parents have asked me to get the presents from them to us too - which is nice but I am torn... it's partly why I was considering a new bathroom vanity unit downstairs - they could pay a big chunk towards it - and I thought the plumber could do it when he comes to do the service and the towel radiators. The one I fancied got low stars though... Still debating...

clearmydebts · 25 November 2019 at 2:48PM

savingholmes wrote: »

Didn't do painting or the Christmas tree. DH did however get rid of a desk I've had about 20 years to the tip together with its glass top. He also ditched DD's damaged chest of drawers. Really shocked at how much clutter has rematerialised in my study - but don't quite have the energy to do anything more about it yet. Currently obsessing over DD's appointment tomorrow instead.

Having splurged more than intended in 1k3a - really fighting the urge to continue spending on a new bed, redecorating, a new bathroom cabinet and the like... Trying to resist. For me Xmas present shopping also opens a door best left shut so problematic. My parents have asked me to get the presents from them to us too - which is nice but I am torn... it's partly why I was considering a new bathroom vanity unit downstairs - they could pay a big chunk towards it - and I thought the plumber could do it when he comes to do the service and the towel radiators. The one I fancied got low stars though... Still debating...

Oh I really do love getting rid of clutter! Well done you. Does your study look better?

savingholmes · 25 November 2019 at 3:59PM

clearmydebts wrote: »

Oh I really do love getting rid of clutter! Well done you. Does your study look better?

My study looks iike it has space again - but a lot of stuff to clear - looks like DS dumped some of his stuff in my study - mixing it in - so I have to go through it again.

Well today we went for an appointment and less than 75 minutes later - we walked out with a diagnosis for DD of ASD (Autism). Feel so relieved that the wondering and debate of the last 5 years is over and we have finally had it confirmed. I've suspected it for just over 18 months and we have been fighting for a diagnosis for her. Finally she should get some support.

MovingForwards · 25 November 2019 at 6:13PM

I'm so pleased your finally have a diagnosis, at least you can now start to make progress with DD and her studies.

It must be such a weight off your shoulders x

Drawingaline · 25 November 2019 at 7:37PM

The diagnosis can be such a relief. Hopefully it will open up support with college. I have found with my 10yr old (diagnosed asd at age 4) he has been well supported at school as he had the diagnosis in place before he went. My youngest is undiagnosed but clearly either asd or adhd. Support has been forthcoming, but mainly because he is so so disruptive in school.

Be prepared for conflicting emotions in the coming weeks. I had relief because I had something to understand, but also guilt because it was so obvious. And a hint of sadness that his life would be harder even with support. He is a joy and I wouldn't want him any other way, but it is still hard at any age.

savingholmes · 25 November 2019 at 9:22PM

MovingForwards wrote: »

I'm so pleased your finally have a diagnosis, at least you can now start to make progress with DD and her studies.

It must be such a weight off your shoulders x

Yes it is. We are all exhausted now though - and have all tried to have a nap separately since. We went out for a meal after - but that was pre-planned. I then took DD out and ended up buying her a coat. We didn't go to Primarni but there's time before the voucher runs out.

Drawingaline wrote: »

The diagnosis can be such a relief. Hopefully it will open up support with college. I have found with my 10yr old (diagnosed asd at age 4) he has been well supported at school as he had the diagnosis in place before he went. My youngest is undiagnosed but clearly either asd or adhd. Support has been forthcoming, but mainly because he is so so disruptive in school.

Be prepared for conflicting emotions in the coming weeks. I had relief because I had something to understand, but also guilt because it was so obvious. And a hint of sadness that his life would be harder even with support. He is a joy and I wouldn't want him any other way, but it is still hard at any age.

I am glad you are getting support. I must admit I play ASD spotting in diaries...

It is conflicting emotions. I did send in a 23 pages assessment - the original printed version was 13 pages LOL. I think the fact she was able to make a decision so quickly - like you say - points to the obviousness of it - but also the flaws in the referral system. It has taken since April 2018 to get this far. Her last school denied she had any issues and refused to meet me! We also took her to CAMHS, Paediatrician and Psychologist at age 11 (5 years ago) but - because I didn't know what to look for / describe and they lacked ASD knowledge - got nowhere. That year she missed 35-50% of school and I nearly lost my job I needed so much time off for her. We tried to get her back to CAMHS every year since... and only succeeded this year when her MH plummeted. The lack of funding for MH services is so wrong!

We need to work out what our next steps should be - however it looks like there is a local group with today's assessor being there once a month for the next 3 months so even though they are in the middle of a normal work day - I will talk to my boss about having time off to go to them. DH and I are also debating whether to go ahead and ask for a referral for ourselves. The assessor today says the waiting list is about 12 weeks - so wouldn't be too long - and then we would know too. I had debated paying myself thinking otherwise it would take a year but it would cost £1.5K. So we may both go to our GP separately this week and if necessary demand a referral.

jwil · 26 November 2019 at 9:02AM

Glad DD got her diagnosis. Hope she can get some support now x

[Deleted User] · 26 November 2019 at 9:20AM

Glad that DD was diagnosed and so quickly too, that must be a weight off your shoulders xx

doingitanyway · 26 November 2019 at 11:21AM

Well done for getting to diagnosis stage for your DD. I'm sure there will be other challenges but stop and pause and think of how far you have come with this.

EssexHebridean · 26 November 2019 at 5:06PM

So pleased that you got the hoped for result from the appointment SH - it will make such a difference to you all if DD gets the support she needs now won't it. Yes it's a shame it took so long but at least when it came to the point of decision that bit went smoothly. Do remember to give yourselves a quiet round of applause for having the tenacity to fight her corner for her, too.