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Prosperous soul in the making
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It all helps and no need to pay for a TVL if you're not watching live TV. That money will cover NF, popcorn and juice each month!Mortgage started 2020, aiming to clear 31/12/2029.6
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When we're in a relationship where we are happy and content, compromise is something that we accept and are comfortable with. when that relationship stops being so happy and content, it is just a short step to the compromises we previously made feeling "heavier" somehow, and that breeds resentment. One thing I would say though - remember that at the time a lot of that compromise was originally reached you probably WERE happy - the context has now changed but try not to let previously happy memories get clouded by stuff that came later. You said before that you think that you have changed and grown and he has not, or has done so in a different direction - that's not necessarily either of your fault, but just something that happened!
Totally agree about cancelling the TV license if you no longer need it. Might be worth doing it in writing and explaining the reasons in the letter too as this could mean less hassle and door knocking down the line - the tend to be suspicious of households that have always had a license suddenly not having one!🎉 MORTGAGE FREE (First time!) 30/09/2016 🎉 And now we go again…New mortgage taken 01/09/23 🏡
Balance as at 01/09/23 = £115,000.00 Balance as at 31/12/23 = £112,000.00
Balance as at 31/08/24 = £105,400.00 Balance as at 31/12/24 = £102,500.00
£100k barrier broken 1/4/25SOA CALCULATOR (for DFW newbies): SOA Calculatorshe/her9 -
Thanks MF and EH
Thanks for the detailed response. There's a lot of wisdom there. Bitterness helps no-one so yes compromises on both sides that worked at the time but no longer do. Nice way of putting it.
Earlier this year I had a seemingly insurmountable problem that almost pushed me completely over the edge and prompted my time away alone. Can't say more on open forum but it got completely resolved today and the relief is indescribable. So glad I stuck it out.
If you find yourself in a similar situation where things seem hopeless just remember it's rarely as bad as you think so don't give up. Seek help when you need it. Take time out but don't give up. There will be a solution and it won't be as bad as you think 99% of the time.
Ask for help... Ditch shame. Most of the time people then tell you their private battles and you will feel that little bit less alone. If someone responds badly that's on them not you. At least you now know...
Divorce is still on, I am writing about something else...Achieve FIRE/Mortgage Neutrality in 2030
1) MFW Nov 21 £202K now £174.8K Equity 32.77%
2) £2.6K Net savings after CCs 6/7/25
3) Mortgage neutral by 06/30 (AVC £24.3K + Lump Sums DB £4.6K + (25% of SIPP 1.2K) = 30.1/£127.5K target 23.6% 29/7/25
4) FI Age 60 income target £16.5/30K 55.1%
5) SIPP £4.8K updated 29/7/258 -
Hi Savings. Do you have a song that is playing just for you right now? If so, I hope it is uplifting and lets your heart sing!
What I do not give, you must never take by force.
Mortgage outstanding - 30/12/22 - £25,900. 31/01/23 - £22,300. 28/02/23 - £20,500. 31/03/23 - £17,500. 30/04/23 - £15,800. 30/05/23 - £13,800. 31/06/23 - £11,300. 31/07/23 - £9,800. 31/08/23 - £8,300. 30/09/23 - £6,000. 31/10/23 - £3,000. 30/11/23 - £1,200. 06/12/23 - £00.00
God save us everyone, As we burn inside the fire of a thousand suns, For the sins of our hands, The sins of our tongues, The sins of our fathers, The sins of our young. Linkin Park7 -
Cheers by Rihanna would work wellTahlullah.H said:Hi Savings. Do you have a song that is playing just for you right now? If so, I hope it is uplifting and lets your heart sing!Achieve FIRE/Mortgage Neutrality in 2030
1) MFW Nov 21 £202K now £174.8K Equity 32.77%
2) £2.6K Net savings after CCs 6/7/25
3) Mortgage neutral by 06/30 (AVC £24.3K + Lump Sums DB £4.6K + (25% of SIPP 1.2K) = 30.1/£127.5K target 23.6% 29/7/25
4) FI Age 60 income target £16.5/30K 55.1%
5) SIPP £4.8K updated 29/7/256 -
Don't even drink but did have a celebratory meal and b55 at pub to celebrate. Then went to balance classAchieve FIRE/Mortgage Neutrality in 2030
1) MFW Nov 21 £202K now £174.8K Equity 32.77%
2) £2.6K Net savings after CCs 6/7/25
3) Mortgage neutral by 06/30 (AVC £24.3K + Lump Sums DB £4.6K + (25% of SIPP 1.2K) = 30.1/£127.5K target 23.6% 29/7/25
4) FI Age 60 income target £16.5/30K 55.1%
5) SIPP £4.8K updated 29/7/256 -
I've been trying to lose weight for ages - and am very slowly - but between yesterday and today I lost 4.5lbs! A weight truly has been lifted off me. Spoke to my balance instructor about some of the moves I find hard and she's going to adjust the class for me so wow. She also explained how to do certain things after the class to me and we had a really nice chat which was sweet.
I have to go in work today for a meeting - don't know how long I'm staying. Booked half a day off this week to cushion my time for getting DD and seeing the counsellor. In theory Ex is doing the trips for the next 2 weeks.
I spoke to a garage this week - and from what they said - I think I'm safe to push the cam belt change into January so that's my plan. I still haven't followed your kind suggestions re the mattress but need to as it's getting worse. I think I will need to move the date up for getting a replacement - but it will still be post divorce and mortgage completion. I'm less worried about spending the £ now this much bigger threat has gone away.
I'll need to update my £ later in the light of recent extra spends but I have enough of a buffer so it will be fine. Ex has to pay for his own TT of the equity £ rather than me so that's good news. Saves me £36. I do potentially want to chat to a property lawyer (sounds expensive) but think will follow that up tomorrow rather than today.Achieve FIRE/Mortgage Neutrality in 2030
1) MFW Nov 21 £202K now £174.8K Equity 32.77%
2) £2.6K Net savings after CCs 6/7/25
3) Mortgage neutral by 06/30 (AVC £24.3K + Lump Sums DB £4.6K + (25% of SIPP 1.2K) = 30.1/£127.5K target 23.6% 29/7/25
4) FI Age 60 income target £16.5/30K 55.1%
5) SIPP £4.8K updated 29/7/256 -
Good to see you so positiveDebt free Feb 2021 🎉5
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Raised a virtual glass to celebrate your news, hopefully things will now get easier without that.
Congratulations on the weightloss, may more pounds follow. It feels like the right time now and you'll get to where you want to be.
Everything else will fall into its natural place and be ticked off as and when.
Mortgage started 2020, aiming to clear 31/12/2029.6 -
How wonderful that things are all resolved on something that had been hanging over you for so long! As for wisdom, there's a good chunk of it up above there from you, too - and yes, you're absolutely right about keeping the faith in a good outcome even when things appear bleak.
I'd agree that from what you've said pushing the cambelt change to January won't be an issue - if it was starting to look worn then they would have advised as such - the change intervals really are over-engineered and chances are it would really go a lot longer, but best not to push it too much because yes, if it goes it can write the engine off.🎉 MORTGAGE FREE (First time!) 30/09/2016 🎉 And now we go again…New mortgage taken 01/09/23 🏡
Balance as at 01/09/23 = £115,000.00 Balance as at 31/12/23 = £112,000.00
Balance as at 31/08/24 = £105,400.00 Balance as at 31/12/24 = £102,500.00
£100k barrier broken 1/4/25SOA CALCULATOR (for DFW newbies): SOA Calculatorshe/her5
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