Prosperous soul in the making

savingholmes

MovingForwards said:

I've every faith you will reach goals and plans, even if they're tweaked over the first few years.

My actual basic outgoings are about what your new mortgage is, therefore it's easier for me to squirrel pounds away, and as you know budgeting is done just on my income.

I'm so pleased to see you're allowing fun things. That's the one thing I should have done sooner, instead I became focused with saving again or maybe saving was the right thing, as it's allowed me to see what means more to me and try new things.

Whatever you do, we'll all be here swapping hints and tips, supporting through good and tricky times and chatting over a virtual coffee.

Thanks MF. It does matter - that encouragement from other posters - and even knowing people care enough to read. I'm glad you are allowing more fun things in your budget now. What I'm finding is that there is a direct correlation between how mentally healthy I am and how much time (and sometimes money) I've given myself for creative pursuits outside my day job. I imagine it's the same with your photography and painting. I'm also finding - that even if it is as simple as a trip to the local park - it is really important to get out in nature regularly.

Elisheba

savingholmes said:

I have 2 weeks booked off at Christmas which is fast approaching so looking forward to that. I also have another 8 days left to book between now and the end of March which is also positive. I'm hoping to use that time to recharge, redecorate, make art and to write.

I've have about the same leave left as you, and also have 2 weeks at Xmas, and you are inspiring me to use it positively, and perhaps give the creative writing I've been meaning to do for ages a go. I've been at rather a loss about what to do with it as winter is so miserable for outdoor activities and I can afford a holiday.

Regarding the divorce, its a very painful and traumatic process. If you are craving retreat and silence and alone time, then that's obviously what you need to process and heal. You are nearly there and this last hurdle will be over soon. 

MovingForwards

There's definitely a link between fun, stress release and mental health. Find the right balance and things are easier to cope with.

EssexHebridean

You’re so supportive of others on their diaries SH, you absolutely deserve the cheer squad you have here. And MF has it spot on above with the balance thing, too. 

Re the car conversation by the way - the chap we bought MrEH’s car from said that a lot of dealers now see evidence of work being done by KF/Halfrauds and similar as a real red flag when it comes to part exchanges. It was the first thing he asked about our C3 and he said once we’d confirmed it hadn’t been to either in our ownership that he would probably have declined to take it had we said it had been serviced by them.

girlatplay

EssexHebridean said:

You’re so supportive of others on their diaries SH, you absolutely deserve the cheer squad you have here...

I'm in complete agreement

savingholmes

Elisheba said:

savingholmes said:

I have 2 weeks booked off at Christmas which is fast approaching so looking forward to that. I also have another 8 days left to book between now and the end of March which is also positive. I'm hoping to use that time to recharge, redecorate, make art and to write.

I've have about the same leave left as you, and also have 2 weeks at Xmas, and you are inspiring me to use it positively, and perhaps give the creative writing I've been meaning to do for ages a go. I've been at rather a loss about what to do with it as winter is so miserable for outdoor activities and I can afford a holiday.

Regarding the divorce, its a very painful and traumatic process. If you are craving retreat and silence and alone time, then that's obviously what you need to process and heal. You are nearly there and this last hurdle will be over soon. 

Thanks Elisheba

I would love to hear more about what kind of creative writing you are interested in / doing. I find that if I can do a solid chunk of writing while I am on leave then I find it easier to carry on once I'm back at work. I'm writing young adult fantasy stories - although I have been on an extended break while I deal with the divorce. I hope to get back to it soon. I also love doing acrylic pouring abstract art. 

I literally am desperate just to be left alone. Family are concerned I'll be lonely - they just don't get it. I need that time alone like a drowning person needs air. I feel like I am in deficit when it comes to time alone - and it will take my solitude tank a long time to refill due to having had everyone home for so long over the last 18 months. 

Case in point Ex has just returned home. I can tell from inside by the noise of his media playing in his car as he drove up... Kind of sums things up...

savingholmes

MovingForwards said:

There's definitely a link between fun, stress release and mental health. Find the right balance and things are easier to cope with.

Absolutely.

EssexHebridean said:

You’re so supportive of others on their diaries SH, you absolutely deserve the cheer squad you have here. And MF has it spot on above with the balance thing, too. 

Re the car conversation by the way - the chap we bought MrEH’s car from said that a lot of dealers now see evidence of work being done by KF/Halfrauds and similar as a real red flag when it comes to part exchanges. It was the first thing he asked about our C3 and he said once we’d confirmed it hadn’t been to either in our ownership that he would probably have declined to take it had we said it had been serviced by them.

Interesting - I just got H to do the MOT and then KF the tyres out of price and desperation for quick fix. Services so far have been the main dealer - but now the car is 5 years old I have been debating where to take it instead. I have a service plan with the main dealer which I pay £13+ pcm for and that gives me 10% off parts but it includes the main service but not all the consumables... I have therefore been considering taking my money out of the savings plan and swapping to a more local garage.

I appreciate the cheer squad. Thanks all.girlatplay said:

EssexHebridean said:

You’re so supportive of others on their diaries SH, you absolutely deserve the cheer squad you have here...

I'm in complete agreement

Thanks GAP. I think what's nice about the site is we all cheer for each other and are genuinely happy for the other when they get some good news - particularly after a rough patch. Instead of it being a competition - we see it as a sign that our time will come too.

I was meant to do some work today (that I should have done Friday). I tried. I read a few articles. I did an internet search but they weren't what I needed them to be. I'm going to have another go first thing tomorrow before I take DD to her site for the first time. c50 miles round trip - instead of the 100 miles it is to the training centre. Ex was due to take her but couldn't as he has to be in work early - and DD bless her said she wanted me to take her as I keep her calmer... She's going to her first ever AirBnB too. My baby is growing up. So proud of her - especially as none of this comes easily to her and she's doing what I always wanted her to do - feeling the fear and going for it regardless. In the past she just gave up - so her stickability - especially given she's been under the weather for a few weeks - was prescribed antibiotics and nasal spray this week while on holiday - is impressive.

I am a great believer that work expands to fit the time available so it should work out okay tomorrow.

badmemory

I've found I can be an awful lot lonelier when with other people than I am on my own.

Pleased to hear DD is doing so well.

savingholmes

Thanks @badmemory
I agree. I have been very lonely in my marriage and am really looking forward to being on my own.

I'm literally thrilled at how well DD is doing. She's negotiating for herself too and asking for what she needs rather than waiting for people to mind read / guess which is great progress too. 

Honeysucklelou2

That’s an impressive list of goals going forward SH. You are so knowledgeable about pensions and how these will affect your future plans...

Good to see that you have your writing on the list of goals, especially after all your hard work earlier this year, in getting your first book published.