My journey to a debt free life

Onebrokelady

Cherryfudge said:

It sounds horrendous. Is it worth you alerting their GP about this incident? I know you need to protect yourself but it will help the professionals build a picture. enthusiasticsaver has a good point too: perhaps your mum needs to realise she can't cope, though there's a possibility she may not process that.

Can you find something to throw your energies into over the next couple of days to distract you? Something where you can see a result so you know you've been productive.

I'm just taking a step back and leaving them to get on with it now. My sister had power of attorney for dads health and is in contact with his gp etc so I will let her sort that out. Like I said I'm done.

Onebrokelady

Today has been a much better day and I actually did sleep last night 🎉🎉 I spent part of the day sorting out DD2s empty bedroom. There are still some of her things in there but I've put them in a box in the wardrobe. I've cleaned the whole room and put fresh bedding on the bed. It's looks lovely in there now I'm almost tempted to move in there myself 😀However DD messaged me today to say she might stay over at the weekend so I had better not, she has felt a bit homesick over the last couple of days so I think that's why she was thinking of staying over.

I then spent the rest of the day stripping wallpaper in my bedroom. It's a Laura Ashley paper and it was very good quality when we put it up but it's a pain to get off again. I don't know  why but I thought it would be easy for some reason 😀. Im just having a coffee then I'm going to do some more. I was also listening to a podcast about solo living which was really good.

I watched the new adaptation of Great Expectations last night as well and really enjoyed it. I'm in a book club on FB and some one said it was too dark but I think its just more realistic of the times it was set. The location is dark and brooding set on the salt marshes and Olivia Coleman looks like she is going to be a brilliant Miss Haversham I can't wait for the next episode 

Onebrokelady

enthusiasticsaver said:

Oh dear your mum is a trial. Maybe she needs to realise she can’t cope so I would take a step back too. Hope tomorrow is a better day. 

That's one way of putting it. She has already made it clear that all the equipment dad needs is making the house look untidy and I when I had a look yesterday it was clear that the equipment has been shoved out of the way into the spare room 😡

Onebrokelady

milann said:

I’m pleased your dad is home. I really love the way you’re only talking in a positive way to him to keep his days as stress free as possible. It must be hard seeing your parents that way. Mine were both relatively young when they passed away which was hard at the time but in hindsight was probably better than seeing them deteriorate with age. It’s hard whichever age they are.
Enjoy making your home ‘yours’ but don’t forget to pace yourself 👍

It is very hard seeing the way they are now and it's also thrown up a lot of issues about my relationship which both of them which I didn't expect. I thought dad would be hisnormal grumpy self who could be quite horrible so it's hard reconciling the person he is now to the  person he was. My mum has always been the same but it's highlighting the behaviours I have a problem with which is quite upsetting. She has never been an affectionate person, we weren't hugged or told we were loved as children and no pride as shown in anything we did. She would say to friends that we were doing well but wouldn't think to say that to us . Mum is very much a  surface person,so long as it all looks good in front of the neighbours it's ok 

Cherryfudge

Good that you got sleep and had a productive day. I don't see why you shouldn't use your daughter's old room when she's not borrowing it back. Yours will appeal more once you've decorated, though.

Good that you are able to step back from the situation with your parents. Your niece will bear witness you tried to help, but at the end of the day you can't force people to see sense or give them the experience you've had through working at the hospital.

I hope your daughter settles okay in her new place, but it must be a big step and might take a while.

milann

My sil was like that with her hubby. Wouldn’t have any equipment in view but would moan if he asked for his walker (and moan if he asked for anything - in fact she just moaned at him) She bought a new suite which is the most uncomfortable I have ever sat on…..he was a big fella and the chairs were tiny, he looked so uncomfortable. It must be very upsetting and maddening after everything you’ve done to help get everything in place for your parents.

Onebrokelady

Cherryfudge said:

Good that you got sleep and had a productive day. I don't see why you shouldn't use your daughter's old room when she's not borrowing it back. Yours will appeal more once you've decorated, though.

Good that you are able to step back from the situation with your parents. Your niece will bear witness you tried to help, but at the end of the day you can't force people to see sense or give them the experience you've had through working at the hospital.

I hope your daughter settles okay in her new place, but it must be a big step and might take a while.

I think DD will be ok she is mainly missing the pets ( not me 😀😀) 

Onebrokelady

milann said:

My sil was like that with her hubby. Wouldn’t have any equipment in view but would moan if he asked for his walker (and moan if he asked for anything - in fact she just moaned at him) She bought a new suite which is the most uncomfortable I have ever sat on…..he was a big fella and the chairs were tiny, he looked so uncomfortable. It must be very upsetting and maddening after everything you’ve done to help get everything in place for your parents.

It's very frustrating and was driving me mad. I've kept my distance for the rest of this week and I'm now feeling a bit calmer 😀

Onebrokelady

I've had another productive day today. I put some washing on when I got up and sorted all the animals out. Took B out after breakfast but it was raining so she wasn't too impressed 😀
I then went and met my friend for coffee and a catch up which was lovely. She dropped me home and I cracked on with stripping the rest of the wall I started the other day. I've now finished that wall and down half of the window wall. I need to go and buy some polyfilla before I start painting. I still haven't made up my mind about a colour yet, I'm stuck on a grey shade but can't find exactly what I want. If I don't find one soon I will go with the colour I did the living room in because it goes with anything and is a nice neutral colour.

Tomorrow I'm working 9-5 in clinics but my co worker messaged me earlier to say we only have 14 patients so they might make one of us go to the ward. I told him I still have 5 hours of AL to use up so will be asking if I can finish early 😀 I'm not sure how many HCAs are on the ward tomorrow but hopefully I will be able to get my time off. I can then nip into Wilkos on the way home and buy some  polyfilla . I have the weekend off and I'm really looking  forward to it.

Cherryfudge

Onebrokelady said:

I think DD will be ok she is mainly missing the pets ( not me 😀😀) 

I think it's a sign of our success as parents when offspring can manage without us. (How dare they? ) Perhaps give her a pet rock (remember those?)

Coffee with your friend sounds nice, and your decorating is coming on well. Perhaps start with the palest possible shade so you can go over it easily if you want to.