My journey to a debt free life

Seasidegal58

Hope you feel better OBL. Best leave the painting till you're off work. 

Putting my penny's worth into the whole GC discussion, I'm another who doesn't think you're selfish at all. I think babies and kids are cute but would hate to spend my days looking after them now. I was quite happy having just the one child. My DD has never had any wish to have children - she will admit to not being at all maternal and gives short shift to anyone who takes the 'oh don't you wish you had children/don't you feel you have missed out' stance.'  And I've had people say to me 'awh don't you wish you had grandchildren?'  As if I am strangely missing out in some way. Er no - if it had happened I would have been pleased and more than willing to help out but I dont feel bereft in any way. Although my sister says if I had had GCs, I would have been like the grandmother in 'Motherland' who turned round one day and said she was fed up of always having the GCs while her daughter worked and was going to enjoy her retirement on her terms!😃
Both DD and I are quite willing to babysit animals though like some others have posted!🤣

Onebrokelady

Seasidegal58 said:

Hope you feel better OBL. Best leave the painting till you're off work. 

Putting my penny's worth into the whole GC discussion, I'm another who doesn't think you're selfish at all. I think babies and kids are cute but would hate to spend my days looking after them now. I was quite happy having just the one child. My DD has never had any wish to have children - she will admit to not being at all maternal and gives short shift to anyone who takes the 'oh don't you wish you had children/don't you feel you have missed out' stance.'  And I've had people say to me 'awh don't you wish you had grandchildren?'  As if I am strangely missing out in some way. Er no - if it had happened I would have been pleased and more than willing to help out but I dont feel bereft in any way. Although my sister says if I had had GCs, I would have been like the grandmother in 'Motherland' who turned round one day and said she was fed up of always having the GCs while her daughter worked and was going to enjoy her retirement on her terms!😃
Both DD and I are quite willing to babysit animals though like some others have posted!🤣

I'm glad there are other people who feel like me 😊my best friend is devoted to her grandchildren and would be horrified if she knew how I really feel. I told her before I had any grandchildren that I wouldn't be that hands on if I had a choice and she was insistent that I would be all over them once they arrived, she was wrong and I have spent the last 3ish years trying to be the granny I'm not naturally going to be. I've now decided to be honest about it, I do like small children in small doses 😀

Onebrokelady

I didn't end up doing any painting in the end but I did clean the bathroom and I've done some washing. I took B for her second walk through the fields because we haven't been for a few days and she needs cheering up ( she is very sad that DD2 is not here ) DD2 posted a couple of photos on IG saying she never wants to leave Edinburgh so I think she is enjoying herself, it looked very pretty wherever she was sitting and I'm fully expecting her to announce that she wants to move there when she comes back 😊 she always wants to move to the places she goes to stay at 😀 one day she will just do it I'm sure.
Im not feeling to good this evening so I'm going to make my packed lunch for tomorrow and then I'm heading off to bed in the hope I will sleep and feel better tomorrow ,it's going to be a horrible day at work if I feel like this 😟but hopefully I will recover overnight 

enthusiasticsaver

Onebrokelady said:

Seasidegal58 said:

Hope you feel better OBL. Best leave the painting till you're off work. 

Putting my penny's worth into the whole GC discussion, I'm another who doesn't think you're selfish at all. I think babies and kids are cute but would hate to spend my days looking after them now. I was quite happy having just the one child. My DD has never had any wish to have children - she will admit to not being at all maternal and gives short shift to anyone who takes the 'oh don't you wish you had children/don't you feel you have missed out' stance.'  And I've had people say to me 'awh don't you wish you had grandchildren?'  As if I am strangely missing out in some way. Er no - if it had happened I would have been pleased and more than willing to help out but I dont feel bereft in any way. Although my sister says if I had had GCs, I would have been like the grandmother in 'Motherland' who turned round one day and said she was fed up of always having the GCs while her daughter worked and was going to enjoy her retirement on her terms!😃
Both DD and I are quite willing to babysit animals though like some others have posted!🤣

I'm glad there are other people who feel like me 😊my best friend is devoted to her grandchildren and would be horrified if she knew how I really feel. I told her before I had any grandchildren that I wouldn't be that hands on if I had a choice and she was insistent that I would be all over them once they arrived, she was wrong and I have spent the last 3ish years trying to be the granny I'm not naturally going to be. I've now decided to be honest about it, I do like small children in small doses 😀

My best friend is the same and looks after one or another of her grandchildren almost every day of the week and says she really enjoys it.  She was surprised I said I would only do one day a week maximum but my DD was totally grateful for that and always says to tell her if it is too much whereas my friends DDs are constantly asking her to babysit and her retirement is almost totally about childcare for her grandchildren whereas I have joined walking groups, a book club,  do spa days, taken up cycling with some friends every week and do an exercise  class plus DH and I travel (only in UK at the moment).  Now her grandchildren are about to start school she is struggling to find something to do so is taking to cleaning her  DDs houses.  Not how I want to spend my retirement. 

Far better to be honest than make promises you do not really want to keep and it sounds like your DD is not grateful anyway. Not all of us want to look after children. I hated being a SAHM for my 2 girls and went back to work part time when the youngest was 2 so no way would I want to spend all my spare time babysitting now. I enjoy them for the day a week we have them and we do lots of fun stuff now they are older. On my pre retirement course this was touched on that people assume when you are retired you want to take on caring responsibilities you have not had time for when working.  The course encouraged us to think about whether we wanted to take these commitments on and if not how to set boundaries which is what I did.  Some people assume once you are retired you have loads of spare time.  I most definitely don't but my time is filled with things I want to do. 

milann

I enjoy having my dks but because they live so far away it’s usually staying here or there for a week at a time. I much prefer it when they are here as they find the toys here a novelty. The elder one is a far more placid nature and will sit doing crafts and reading whereas the younger one is always on the go and never seems to tire. A theme has been emerging where the children are dropped off to spend some quality time with us and their mum and day scoot off for a night or together so they get quality time together too, spending the fist and last night with us. It is very intense as the children want to spend every minute with us as they know we don’t get to see each other very often. It’s a 6 hour journey including a little loo break on the motorway. I do enjoy it but am finding it increasingly tiring. 

I’m pleased dd is enjoying Edinburgh- one of my favourite places.
Your decorating sounds hard work. Like you I always did it and enjoyed it, but found it increasingly harder work. I now have a lovely friend who does me mates rates as long as I feed him cake 😂😂

Onebrokelady

enthusiasticsaver said:

Onebrokelady said:

Seasidegal58 said:

Hope you feel better OBL. Best leave the painting till you're off work. 

Putting my penny's worth into the whole GC discussion, I'm another who doesn't think you're selfish at all. I think babies and kids are cute but would hate to spend my days looking after them now. I was quite happy having just the one child. My DD has never had any wish to have children - she will admit to not being at all maternal and gives short shift to anyone who takes the 'oh don't you wish you had children/don't you feel you have missed out' stance.'  And I've had people say to me 'awh don't you wish you had grandchildren?'  As if I am strangely missing out in some way. Er no - if it had happened I would have been pleased and more than willing to help out but I dont feel bereft in any way. Although my sister says if I had had GCs, I would have been like the grandmother in 'Motherland' who turned round one day and said she was fed up of always having the GCs while her daughter worked and was going to enjoy her retirement on her terms!😃
Both DD and I are quite willing to babysit animals though like some others have posted!🤣

I'm glad there are other people who feel like me 😊my best friend is devoted to her grandchildren and would be horrified if she knew how I really feel. I told her before I had any grandchildren that I wouldn't be that hands on if I had a choice and she was insistent that I would be all over them once they arrived, she was wrong and I have spent the last 3ish years trying to be the granny I'm not naturally going to be. I've now decided to be honest about it, I do like small children in small doses 😀

My best friend is the same and looks after one or another of her grandchildren almost every day of the week and says she really enjoys it.  She was surprised I said I would only do one day a week maximum but my DD was totally grateful for that and always says to tell her if it is too much whereas my friends DDs are constantly asking her to babysit and her retirement is almost totally about childcare for her grandchildren whereas I have joined walking groups, a book club,  do spa days, taken up cycling with some friends every week and do an exercise  class plus DH and I travel (only in UK at the moment).  Now her grandchildren are about to start school she is struggling to find something to do so is taking to cleaning her  DDs houses.  Not how I want to spend my retirement. 

Far better to be honest than make promises you do not really want to keep and it sounds like your DD is not grateful anyway. Not all of us want to look after children. I hated being a SAHM for my 2 girls and went back to work part time when the youngest was 2 so no way would I want to spend all my spare time babysitting now. I enjoy them for the day a week we have them and we do lots of fun stuff now they are older. On my pre retirement course this was touched on that people assume when you are retired you want to take on caring responsibilities you have not had time for when working.  The course encouraged us to think about whether we wanted to take these commitments on and if not how to set boundaries which is what I did.  Some people assume once you are retired you have loads of spare time.  I most definitely don't but my time is filled with things I want to do. 

My friends spare time is taken up with her grand children, she says she really enjoys it but she is always tired. 

Onebrokelady

milann said:

I enjoy having my dks but because they live so far away it’s usually staying here or there for a week at a time. I much prefer it when they are here as they find the toys here a novelty. The elder one is a far more placid nature and will sit doing crafts and reading whereas the younger one is always on the go and never seems to tire. A theme has been emerging where the children are dropped off to spend some quality time with us and their mum and day scoot off for a night or together so they get quality time together too, spending the fist and last night with us. It is very intense as the children want to spend every minute with us as they know we don’t get to see each other very often. It’s a 6 hour journey including a little loo break on the motorway. I do enjoy it but am finding it increasingly tiring. 

I’m pleased dd is enjoying Edinburgh- one of my favourite places.
Your decorating sounds hard work. Like you I always did it and enjoyed it, but found it increasingly harder work. I now have a lovely friend who does me mates rates as long as I feed him cake 😂😂

I hope you enjoyed your time away Milann, I need a handyman who will accept cake for payment 😀

Onebrokelady

Had a terrible nights sleep last night because my shoulder and arm kept me awake throbbing away. I woke up this morning and got to work in an absolute foul mood and have been intensely irritated all day. The day was full of people not able to follow simple instructions and uncooperative children of which most were old enough to know better 😡Im still in a bad mood now but I'm not sure why or who it's directed at......probably hormone related 

Sun_Addict

We all have those days, some more often than others 😆 Lack of sleep and pain make you irritable. Hope you got a better night’s sleep and feel better today.

Sunshine_girl2

Hope you had a better nights sleep and are in less pain.