My journey to a debt free life

redofromstart

Sorry to read that you have been struggling. I find that fibro in itself has a far wider impact than 'just' the physical stuff.

Just a thought on the house sale, perhaps you should point out to your DD that downsizing would involve a one bedroom property on a 50 plus estate and sadly you wouldn't be able to have the grandchildren overnight anymore...

Onebrokelady

foxgloves wrote: »

Morning OBL,
Lovely to hear you have been out riding. You enjoy it so much that it's a shame not to do it when you can afford it. We all need something enjoyable to look forward to, that is 'ours', don't we?
Re feeling taken for granted on the child minding front, I think the easiest way around this is just not always to be available. If there is the occasional day when extra nursery hours have to be booked because you are doing something else, then that is a straightforward way of sending the message that you are not always available for free childcare & may sometimes have other priorities. I know you enjoy spending time with your little GS, but nothing should be taken for granted.
One in four people will experience some sort of mental health issue during their lifetime, with anxiety & depression being top of the list. I've never had depression, but have had a spell of anxiety disorder back in the past. Important to accept that the mind can have problems just like any other part of the body & to treat yourself kindly until you are feeling back on more of an even keel. And keep seeing your horsey friend - he probably loves taking you for a ride & getting a fuss x

I do love spending time with him, he is very cute and very funny but I think I underestimated how much energy it takes to look after a 22 month old,I dont think it helps that she has to drop him round by 7.30 so I have to get up at 6.15 to be ready in time for his arrival, I wouldn't mind if I wasn't working a job that I have to get up for at 5.15 for, this is one of the reasons I gave up riding, I was so tired it was preferable to stay in bed than get up to go for a ride

My new horsey friend is also very cute and I looking forward to seeing him again on Monday

Onebrokelady

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

I'm glad you had your horse ride, it must be really good for your mood and it's self care that you can do for yourself .

I think that Cherry is right, children expect their parents to take care of them not the other way around and are slightly flummoxed if they find their parent needs help. It doesn't mean they don't love you but DD1 does sound a little self-centred. Perhaps Foxgloves is right that you shouldn't always be available for child care so that DD1 doesn't take your help for granted.

I hope you continue to feel better .

That's true,they don't expect to have to take care of us and I don't really expect her to but some acknowledgement would be nice once in a while, or some practical help occasionally,my Son in-laws mum has just had her knee replaced and they have been all over her like a rash,they socialise with his parents all the time but are always too busy to spend time with me
When they went on holiday a couple of weeks ago they borrowed my travel cot,I Carrie it down to the van for them and they had bunged it in the back got in the van and drove off while I was n the middle of saying have a nice time :eek: I was just left standing in the road

Onebrokelady

redofromstart wrote: »

Sorry to read that you have been struggling. I find that fibro in itself has a far wider impact than 'just' the physical stuff.

Just a thought on the house sale, perhaps you should point out to your DD that downsizing would involve a one bedroom property on a 50 plus estate and sadly you wouldn't be able to have the grandchildren overnight anymore...

Hmmm I hadn't thought about it from a Fibro point of view,it's normally so well controlled I tend to forget how far reaching it can be,I have been doing really well with managing the pain using the Curable app I got I hadn't thought about the mental aspect

Luckily I have only had him stay over once since I started looking after him a year ago, if I sell my house that will be the reality except it won't be a house or flat because I can only afford a park home.....mind you I have found two lovely ones, the one I think I have mentioned is a brand new one and soooo much nicer than my current house I would move in there tomorrow if my youngest DD wasnt still here and the other one I saw was on older one but it's set in the most beautiful woodland setting,it's almost like a log cabin and they are both over 50s sites :rotfl:

Onebrokelady

I had a realisation today,DD is finishing work near the end of June to go on maternity leave, this means I shouldn't need to look after DGS on a Tuesday anymore because she won't be working, theoretically I can have a break until she has to go back to work and I have to look after the new baby
I'm going to broach the subject when I see her next week,I'm just going to say I won't need to babysit when you finish work and then say I'm looking forward to the break because I can guarantee she will still want me to have him
I'm quite sure he would rather spend time with his mum though and it would be nice for them to spend some time together before the new baby arrives,he goes to nursery twice a week and his other gran one day a week so that only leaves four days for them to be spend time together

Willowtree222

Hi OBL,

I have missed a bit so just caught up. Sorry about the mental things. It is all consuming and you feel alone anyway, so you must have felt even more alone at that point. It is such a tough thing, and one where you need the emotional support of people around you.

I'm glad you're back riding and enjoying it.

That's a difficult one with your DD. I can imagine she will still want you to have him to enable her to rest and then when baby is here to help out that way. I think you are right though to have that rest and suggest it doesn't happen. Give yourself the time you need.

Fibro is far reaching. It is a combination of so much more than just the physical things, and the lack of sleep in particular really does cause a lot of other ailments connected to it. I hope you are sleeping better as that will hopefully alleviate quite a few of the other things.

Have a good day. x

Onebrokelady

Omg that was a day I don't want to repeat at work, it was one of those days where if it could go wrong it would,we didn't get a break in the morning either, luckily I was working 9-5 so managed to escape earlier than I normally would on a Wednesday
I'm off tomorrow so I'm not going anywhere, poor DD has a rubbish day too, she was looking after DGS today and he was awful all day,he wouldn't do as he was asked and said no don't like it to everything he was offered, luckily he did have a long nap so she was able to get some uni work done, then the cat was sick on her bed and it went through to her duvet so we put it in the washing machine and it got ripped all over so she now hasn't got a duvet for tonight and will have to go and buy a new one tomorrow
I will be glad when I can go to bed and today will be over

I'm off tomorrow so I'm not planning on going anywhere,I'm hoping the weather will cheer up so I can go and do some bits in the back garden, I've got two slabs to level out then the chicken coop can be moved and there are lots of weeds up by the washing line that seem to have sprung up overnight so I need to do some urgent weeding, my butternut squash seeds that I planted have gone crazy so need planting as well,I can't remember if I posted about them but the squash seeds came from a squash I was cooking for my tea, when I cut it open some of the seeds had sprouted so I decided to plant them to see what would happen,I've been advised that they might not produce anything but I thought I would plant them anyway and see what happens, they have grown into three lovely strong plants though

Sun_Addict

I'm sorry to read you feel taken for granted re child minding. Sometimes I think you're appreciated more when you don't do as much if you see what I mean.

I hope you have a lovely day off tomorrow and get to do something for yourself - be selfish

Onebrokelady

Sun_Addict wrote: »

I'm sorry to read you feel taken for granted re child minding. Sometimes I think you're appreciated more when you don't do as much if you see what I mean.

I hope you have a lovely day off tomorrow and get to do something for yourself - be selfish

Yes I do see what you mean,I might make myself a little less available in future, I wouldn't mind too much if I was retired like DGS other gran and had better health and was actually asked if it was ok or even thanked occasionally

When my girls were little my mum didn't look after them for me I worked opposite hours to my ex partner so we could take it in turns looking after them,it meant I worked evenings and didn't get to put them to bed for a couple of years, he worked nights so would get up when I went to work sort the kids out then I would get home at 10 and he would go to work all night then sleep all day 6 days a week, we hardly saw each other ( that might have been a bonus actually :rotfl:)

DGS is at nursery two days a week and his other gran will have him for one day then my Son in law is home at the weekend so DD is only on her own with him for 2 days,I'm sure she can manage that and he will love being at home with her rather than here, he always gets upset when she has to leave him to go to work

Cherryfudge

It sounds like the worst sort of day at work.
Well done on sprouting the butternut squash seeds: I don't know how well they pollinate but I would have said you were in with a good chance of baby butternut squashes in a few months.