My journey to a debt free life

HairyHandofDartmoor

Onebrokelady wrote: »

Hi Foxgloves, it's definitely interesting :eek: I had my latest period 4 months ago but it was very light so I'm tempted not to count it, it would have been a year if I had made it to March,I'm 56 on the 2nd of June and hoping it will stop soon:D

I have to admit my diet is rubbish at the moment and I really need to sort it out, perhaps this will give me the kick up the bum I need,when I was having periods properly I used to have raging PMT so I suppose the menopause was destined to be a pain in the butt,I was thinking I would sail through it as I actually see it as a really positive event in a woman's life,I never expected to feel so down about it,I'm now thinking it's a combination of not being in tip top health anyway the menopause and not being that happy with my job which I know I can't leave,I sure I will get through this and posting on here will help

I need to get on with the things that need doing in my house and get back into doing my hobbies instead of wasting time online, eat some healthy food and reframe my attitude to my job,I get so worked up before a shift and I don't know why,I quite like what I do,I work with good people and although it can be extremely stressful I can normally cope with that, but at the moment I just want to curl up and hibernate........it's summer for gods sake.......I can't be hibernating now ,I don't feel tired as such but I have no enthusiasm for anything ,I just can't be bothered at all to even make a start on any of the things I want to do let alone need to do,maybe I just need to force myself and my enthusiasm will come back

I've just done an online valuation for my house and it came up as £250,000 according to the Land Registry and £205,000 according to a local estate agent,I then went and looked at properties and even with that I can't afford anything here, that is apart from a rather nice little parkhome on a nearby site near a little town that I love, you can't get a mortgage to buy them so it would have to be cash though,it does ties in with my tiny house vision though :rotfl:

I do think a good diet helps with depression. I think the only reason I'm coping with losing my mum (apart from support from DH and the DC) is that I haven't touched alcohol since she died ten months ago and I rarely eat sugar. Both alcohol and sugar give me mood swings which I can't cope with at the moment. Also I do quite a lot of exercise and go to bed and get up at more or less the same time and have my meals at regular times. This sounds a bit intense but if it stops me feeling depressed then it's worth it.

I think you're right that if you force yourself to do something around the house then it will make you feel better in time.

I think what Foxgloves said you should say to DD1 is a really good idea. DD1 may feel uncomfortable talking about depression but that doesn't mean she doesn't love you. Some people just can't cope with talking aboout things like that.

Don't worry about your house at the moment. Thing are constantly changing and evolving. You may inherit some money, or get a windfall, or find a way of making money on the side. Maybe DD1 or DD2 will get rich and support you :rotfl:. This is not the time to worry about that.

Don't worry about depressing the dog, the dog wants to help you feel better and dogs love to help humans so let her help you without worrying about it. The dog's emotions are less intense and complex than yours.

It definitely will pass and it does sound like it's menopause related. So don't give up hope, you will get through this .

arsenalbarnie

Some lovely supportive advice from everyone for you OBL. Thank you for the book and website advice. As for the bread maker it has been a real hit. They have come a long way from the one I had 20 years ago. I must watch my consumption though as the scales will go the wrong way. I must watch my spending though.

If your DD asks again, maybe say you will get a lodger if you haven’t moved. Would you consider moving to a cheaper area?

I hope you’re feeling a bit more upbeat soon.

Onebrokelady

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

I do think a good diet helps with depression. I think the only reason I'm coping with losing my mum (apart from support from DH and the DC) is that I haven't touched alcohol since she died ten months ago and I rarely eat sugar. Both alcohol and sugar give me mood swings which I can't cope with at the moment. Also I do quite a lot of exercise and go to bed and get up at more or less the same time and have my meals at regular times. This sounds a bit intense but if it stops me feeling depressed then it's worth it.

I think you're right that if you force yourself to do something around the house then it will make you feel better in time.

I think what Foxgloves said you should say to DD1 is a really good idea. DD1 may feel uncomfortable talking about depression but that doesn't mean she doesn't love you. Some people just can't cope with talking aboout things like that.

Don't worry about your house at the moment. Thing are constantly changing and evolving. You may inherit some money, or get a windfall, or find a way of making money on the side. Maybe DD1 or DD2 will get rich and support you :rotfl:. This is not the time to worry about that.

Don't worry about depressing the dog, the dog wants to help you feel better and dogs love to help humans so let her help you without worrying about it. The dog's emotions are less intense and complex than yours.

It definitely will pass and it does sound like it's menopause related. So don't give up hope, you will get through this .

Awwww Hairy your such a thoughtful person to take the time to post advice despite going through the grieving process at the moment,I am taking it it all in and it is as usual good advice so thank you so much x

Diet definitely does help with mood,we had a seminar for the staff at work about it last month but I wasn't able to go which I was annoyed about, fortunately I don't drink very often because since going through the menopause it doesn't really agree with me and I feel awful the next day even after just one drink,it also makes my face itch and burn :eek: the last time I had a drink was when we went out for DDs birthday in March,I don't actually miss it much either,sometimes I fancy a nice cold cider when it's hot but I'm just as happy with a nice glass of apple juice to be honest

Now sugar is my drug of choice and I really must try to get it out of my diet,I use Splenda sweetener at the moment but that's just as bad,I was only talking about my sugar problem today and how I need to cut it down,mind you I used to have three sugars in my tea but now have a level teaspoon,the problem is I drink gallons of tea and coffee everyday so it adds up

As for the dog she certainly isn't feeling stressed out today because she is currently snoring her head off on the settee,she sounds like my ex:rotfl:

Onebrokelady

arsenalbarnie wrote: »

Some lovely supportive advice from everyone for you OBL. Thank you for the book and website advice. As for the bread maker it has been a real hit. They have come a long way from the one I had 20 years ago. I must watch my consumption though as the scales will go the wrong way. I must watch my spending though.

If your DD asks again, maybe say you will get a lodger if you haven’t moved. Would you consider moving to a cheaper area?

I hope you’re feeling a bit more upbeat soon.

Thanks AB, I have had some really good advice from the lovely people on here and Im making a list of things to concentrate on:)
I just noticed the books authors first name ends with an I and not a y as I said,although I'm sure it will come up if you google it, there are probably loads more out there now but that's the only one I've read,apparently Germaine Greer also has a good one although it's quite old now,it's called The Change:Women,Ageing and The Menopause, I might try to find that one because I think it might be a sort of battle cry for women kind of book so probably quite empowering

I've always wanted a bread maker but haven't bought one because I would eat bread all the time and probably nothing else,I looked at one that made jam too, but decided that was probably an even worse idea

I have actually seriously thought about taking in a lodger when my younger DD moves out, there are so many people at my hospital that need accommodation and I also live not far from the city's university so there is another possible income stream, my eldest DD is always trying to get me to sell my house, she is right in a couple of ways, there are a lot of steps which I will struggle with when I'm older and I will still have to pay the rent when I retire even though the mortgage will be paid off, the way she sees it is if I buy somewhere I won't have to pay that rent anymore
I would consider moving somewhere cheaper so long as it's on a reliable bus route to work,it's cheap where my DD lives but I wouldn't be able to get to work at the weekend, once I retire though I don't mind where I live really

Onebrokelady

Right,I've had a productive evening today,I bought a new in cupboard kitchen bin from ikea today which I had left on the kitchen floor intending to sort out another time but I made myself clean out the cupboard and put it where it's supposed to go so that's one job done

I've baked myself a potato to have with cheese at work tomorrow and I've added some of the salad leaves that I've been growing in the garden and some tomato's,I haven't got any on my plants yet so these are from Mr S

I've also tidied and cleaned the kitchen, the rest of the house will have to wait because its too late now

Im working tomorrow and we are having our annual deep clean so I'm going to be busy helping with that all day

I then have Monday and Tuesday off,I'm going riding again on Monday morning,I booked it yesterday and since then I've just wanted to cancel it and not go,I don't know why because I love it but the thought of going feels like too much effort, I am going though despite this because I know once I get on the horse I will feel so much better, the horse I'm riding is called Dougal and he is really sweet, the girl that took me last time was lovely and the people there are friendly so there is no logic in not going

Onebrokelady

This is something that tells you the state of my mind at the moment although it did make me smile

Earlier on I had to book my taxi for work and I started to put the number into my phone only to look down and see it was actually the calculator 🙄😀

Sunshine_girl2

OBL I think eating healthily is so important to your health, state of mind etc. My family and I are having a very rough patch at the minute . Work is very stressful , normally I would want to hide but for the past few weeks my shopping has consisted of lots of fruit and veg. I am coping with with most of what's going on. Take your vitamin pills , I rarely touch alcohol so not an issue. As for the menopause I was lucky and have sailed through it apart from terrible sleep pattern, which I just accept now and brain fog. Can you be referred for some help with your mental health ? As for your home , I think you need to pay your DMP off and then make plans for retirement . I have the problem of renting in retirement, not ideal at all but until I know my retirement plans I haven't though that far on.

Hope work is ok today .

arsenalbarnie

I’ve just bought one on my k1ndle called ‘So that’s why I’m bonkers’ quite apt for me.

Eew deep cleaning. Hated doing that when I worked in theatres years ago. But it will make the day wizz by.Enjoy your riding.

Onebrokelady

arsenalbarnie wrote: »

I’ve just bought one on my k1ndle called ‘So that’s why I’m bonkers’ quite apt for me.

Eew deep cleaning. Hated doing that when I worked in theatres years ago. But it will make the day wizz by.Enjoy your riding.

I think I might have that one on my kindle too,it sounds familiar

I always forget when the deep clean is on so always end up getting roped in to help, I've found out it's always on the last week of May so I booking holiday for next year :rotfl:the day did go really quickly though,my arms are killing me though from scrubbing for hours

Lifeisforliving19

Gosh you have been going through it, haven't you OBL. I agree with statements already posted, a good diet definitely does help with your mental attitude, as does exercise and sunshine. It is hard when family members don't know of our debts and suggest things like moving house etc isn't it? We have had the same sort of problems.
You say your DD didn't comment when you said you hadn't been feeling quite right mentally lately....maybe she either doesn't know how to respond and help you, or possibly is a bit like someone in my family, who thinks that mental illness is not a real condition and should just be swept under the carpet. It is a sad thing that there are still some people like that in this day and age.
Hope you are picking up a bit now . x