Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it

Savvy_Sue

BTW, I know this might seem like a strange suggestion, but Sammie, you said on your other thread that atm you just couldn't afford / justify the subs for Widowed and Young. How about asking someone to pay for it for you, if you think it looks the least bit useful, as a Christmas present?

Massage might also be good for you now. If you have a favourite therapist, you could ask someone to buy you some for Christmas. And warn them you might howl. That's fine.

If you haven't had massage before now might not be the time, but I hope it will come!

Sammie36

Yes, im going to ask my parents for the WAY membership for Christmas.

I can't even begin to think about Christmas at the minute. It taking everthing ive got just to get through the day.

I didn't think it was possible to feel any worse than I did on the day John died but as the days pass I feel worse and worse.

The children even seem to be feeling lower than they have done. My youngest as cried non stop for the last two days. My son scored his first goal with his Sunday league football team (he plays in defence) so it was a big deal for him and he burst into tears and as barely spoken since.

MrAPJI

Yes, I felt the same. The first days left me feeling quite numb and then the realisation of what had actually happened, sank in. Then came the feeling of absolute despair and sadness and I felt worse than ever. It's a horrible place to be Sammi, but eventually you will begin to feel a little stronger. When someone told me the same thing - I didn't believe it - but it was true. It took a long time and even though it is 17mths since my wife died, it sometimes feels like yesterday and then those feelings of sadness come flooding back.
We are all thinking of you.

BucksLady

Sammi, I'm so sorry to hear your news. I don't know whether anyone has mentioned the charity 'Winston's Wish' to you - it is excellent and may be able to give you and your children support.


https://www.winstonswish.org/

sheilavw

Sammi I am so sorry for you all.Life is so cruel. xx

Sammie36

In 8 hours 29 minutes It's been 10 weeks since John died.

It's been a looong 10 weeks and on Sunday it's his birthday. It's been a very emotional week for my youngest daughter and she has cried more this week then she has done before. She is going to need me to be really strong for her this weekend but I know I'm going to be a huge mess.

I don't think I'm strong enough to get through this.

I really want to wake up from this nightmare.

sheilavw

I am so so sad for you all. I have no words that will help. I too am struggling. My lovely Husband of 34 years, and partner of 40 years was diagnosed with motor neurone disease July. I find it so hard. I cry everyday. I cant imagine what you are going through. I lost my own dad at 15. I can only reiterate what other kind people have said, take care of yourself and your lovely children. Keep posting on here, people are so kind and offer words of support

MrAPJI

Sammi, when we lose someone whom we love deeply it is so very painful, and those feelings of not being strong enough to carry on and cope hit us all at some point - but I promise you that you will find that strength. I'm sure John would be so proud of the way you are holding things together.

MrAPJI

Sheila, thinking of you too. Motor neurone disease is such a cruel one and I'm really sorry to hear that your husband has it.

Sammie36

I can't thank everyone enough for your kind words.

Sheilavw - I'm so sorry to hear about your husband.

MrAPJI - I'm so sorry about the loss of your wife.

I keep replaying that night over and over in my head. I haven't been able to sit in our living room since. Friday night's are worse as that's when it started.

I miss him so much - the funeral was four weeks ago and since then I feel as though I'm slowly spiralling lower and lower and that scares me.

I want to thank everyone for allowing me to just say how I'm feeling.