Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it

Torry_Quine · 1 February 2018 at 10:42PM

I'm just waiting for my friend who is staying at mine tonight. I don't know how to get through tomorrow, it can't be real. My aunt is unwell and may not be able to come.

thepurplepixie · 2 February 2018 at 7:06PM

Good that you have a friend coming, I hope that will be a comfort.

Torry_Quine · 2 February 2018 at 7:40PM

thepurplepixie wrote: »

Good that you have a friend coming, I hope that will be a comfort.

That was posted yesterday.

The funeral went well I think, it still feels very unreal

thepurplepixie · 2 February 2018 at 9:03PM

Torry_Quine wrote: »

That was posted yesterday.

The funeral went well I think, it still feels very unreal

Sorry Torry, I lost a day somewhere! I'm glad it all went well, is your friend staying tonight?

Torry_Quine · 2 February 2018 at 9:11PM

thepurplepixie wrote: »

Sorry Torry, I lost a day somewhere! I'm glad it all went well, is your friend staying tonight?

A different friend is. I'm exhausted.

happyandcontented · 2 February 2018 at 9:15PM

Torry_Quine wrote: »

That was posted yesterday.

The funeral went well I think, it still feels very unreal

Take care of yourself Torry.

I tried to send you a pm but your message box is full.

Torry_Quine · 2 February 2018 at 9:17PM

happyandcontented wrote: »

Take care of yourself Torry.

I tried to send you a pm but your message box is full.

Thanks have deleted messages.

wort · 5 February 2018 at 7:03PM

Torry ,I've been thinking of you, it's a relief to get the funeral over. It will feel unreal for a long time. It's just 7 months for me and it still feels I'm in someone else's life.
I was sleeping by hubby's hospital bed ,and woke suddenly to find him dead, his face was cold his body still warm, I spent a while with him whilst my daughters etc came, and his brothers saw him in the mortuary. I had seen my parents in the funeral home and didn't feel it looked like them, and found it took a long time to rid myself of the image. So I didn't see him again, and had a closed casket at the funeral parlour.
As others mentioned give yourself time to relax ,and do think of counselling.
Take care.x

Torry_Quine · 5 February 2018 at 7:21PM

wort wrote: »

Torry ,I've been thinking of you, it's a relief to get the funeral over. It will feel unreal for a long time. It's just 7 months for me and it still feels I'm in someone else's life.
I was sleeping by hubby's hospital bed ,and woke suddenly to find him dead, his face was cold his body still warm, I spent a while with him whilst my daughters etc came, and his brothers saw him in the mortuary. I had seen my parents in the funeral home and didn't feel it looked like them, and found it took a long time to rid myself of the image. So I didn't see him again, and had a closed casket at the funeral parlour.
As others mentioned give yourself time to relax ,and do think of counselling.
Take care.x

Thanks. Seeing him in the funeral home means that I have that image rather than when I found him gone. It doesn't feel a relief to have the funeral passed, it feels wrong. I'm struggling to do anything but people keep telling me I need to get a routine. I'm definitely going to get counseling at the local cancer support centre.

How are you doing?

Misslayed · 6 February 2018 at 10:46AM

So sorry for your loss Torry, I hope you get some comfort from this thread, lots of us have been there and feel your pain. Although it's nearly ten years ago in my case, I remember as if it was last week.