Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it

pollypenny

That sounds really promising, kittie! Hope it works out.

[Deleted User]

Its amazing, I had three property disappointments and have become much more matter of fact. Viewings on monday, 2 properties.

lessonlearned

Yep.

In love we have to kiss a few frogs.
With houses we have to see a few dogs.

Keep your pecker up, you will find The One.

Knee a bit easier today. Going to do some more decorating decluttering later .....I have got the bug!!!

Tomorrow meeting one of the Jolly Dollies for a trip to the cinema and a bite to eat. Going to see Peter Rabbit. Should be fun. I have got my Plex back now so have had a good week catching up on a couple of films.....Dunkirk, The Greatest Showman and Goodbye Christopher Robin, plus TV series Line of Duty.

I really want to get out and about more, wish the weather would warm up a bit. It’s still not that great here today but I am going to go for walk. Didn’t manage it yesterday.

Sounds mad but walking does actually help my knee .....:rotfl:

[Deleted User]

I have been doing my homework, there is a road through the village, looked like a sleepy road on google but I read that it has become a rat run with associated noise and dangers. They are putting speed measures into place but that isn`t going to reduce the numbers of cars. Drat, this is definitely going to colour how I view things. It looks as though it will be unsafe for me to cycle anywhere local and cycling is pretty much at the top of my list for health and just getting out. It is so important to do the homework. I will be going though, it may be special enough to take forward. I am not holding my breath

I may well go and look at a cottage in my local area. It has been for sale for 3 months and has no bath. I need to discount it. I do know the lanes around there, all quiet and miles of safe cycling. It has very thick walls and a low epc. I will have to reject it if it is dark

White_musk

I've had a wonderful day reducing my bedroom to zero clutter. It now looks a clean, tidy, peaceful room I want to relax in. I've reduced everything that was on display (toiletries) to none, they are now in the bathroom to be used. All surfaces are clear. Looking at the finished result gave me a huge boost and bigger smile.

Rainy day here so I've not so much as poked my nose out of the door. FF and cupboards full so I don't need anything so no reason to go out. My living room coffee table looks like a bomb has hit it, it's got all sort of bits I've removed from my bedroom. I have a bin bag by my side and I'm going to sit on my bum with a cuppa and clear the table listening to the rain all cozy and warm.

Hugs.

lessonlearned

Kittie......there will always be compromises. The trouble is when you start looking at other houses you realise how nice and pleasant your own home is. House hunting can be soul destroying.

I always prefer doer uppers because I usually dislike the ones that have been done up. At best they are never to my taste and at worst sometimes they make such stupid design errors. I refuse to lay a premium for a house that I am going to have rip apart. I would rather take on a wreck, even it means remedial works.

Just to play devils advocate here.......do you actually need to move. All things being equal what would would be your preference.

Could your house be future proofed so that it would work for you if you became less mobile. Or is it really that the location that might not work in years to come. If it is the latter then obviously you need to move but you seem to love the location so much.

Moving is both costly and stressful. I am sure you have thought it all through but maybe if you take a step back......although of course I appreciate that if it has to be done then better sooner rather than later.

In my case I know that because of the steep narrow staircase, stepped hallway, steps to the front door, tiered garden, etc this house could never work for me in the long term. The design means it cannot be future proofed. Even if I levelled floors and put in a better staircase or lift there would still be the issue of access. Shame because the location is fine and the current neighbours are lovely.

Had one of my go to guys round today to look at a couple of jobs that need doing before the house goes on the market, plus a couple of nice to haves. Both nice to haves are in the garden.

Depending on how much they cost I might just go ahead and get the nice to haves done anyway, because they will make the house more attractive and more saleable. Both will add to the wow factor and make this house stand head and shoulders above the competition.....

And of course if I decide to stay on for another year or two then I get to enjoy the improvements for a while. Win-win.

[Deleted User]

yes I do understand about taking the step back but there will be quite expensive outdoor maintenance in future years. Things are ok now but deterioration will happen, wood problems in future. It is open sunny and airy where I live now, the allotment will be handy from my preferred area too. Cycling is what I am loving, here there is one route, over there are miles and miles and all in the nature reserve. Yes I could wait but I want to do it now, while I can. I may be forced to wait anyway, if nothing appears. Maybe I will be surprised on monday, this time I go with lower expectations so will not be disappointed

Also I meet far more people over there, went to the shop the other day and got talking to another stranger. Village shops are wonderful social hubs. I am being calm and philosophical, if it is meant to be, then it will happen

White_musk

Moving house from the family home to my last house was a difficult decision to have to make. I knew what I wanted and thought city living would be better for me as I got older. I made a very costly mistake. The family home was far too large for me alone, I felt like I was just rattling around in this huge space not using at least three rooms that I was still paying to heat etc. This move has been the best thing I ever did. If I knew then what I do now I would have stated in the family home and moved straight here. Life of course is never that easy.

The moral of MY story is stay put until you find what is perfect for you. This house needs work done but it's not excessive (new kitchen and boiler and possible new bathroom as well as straightening the sloping ceilings) but it's perfect in size and location for me and that is the most important thing by far for me. I know in a year or two, I will have this house exactly how I want it. It needs decorating from one end to the other but at the moment it's clean and eminently liveable.

Our home as we grow older is more important than ever to be right for us. I have full wheelchair access should it be needed including at the front door. Being a bungalow I won't ever need a stair lift or home elevator all things we should think about.

Make sure YOU are truly happy, be it in the home you're in now or when considering. For me, location and size were the most important things and I would not have moved into a house that didn't fulfil those requirements. Things like a new kitchen and boiler are nothing compared to being exactly where you want to be and in a home that you walk into and smile.

wort

I really couldn't get to sleep last night, and I had the feeling of a weight in my hand as though someone was holding it. I know there may be some explanation for it, but I moved position and noticed it came back. I was crying and smiling at the same time, I hope it was him, and I couldn't tell anyone else but know you here will understand.

[Deleted User]

yes I do wort. I get the feeling of a hand on my back, like guiding me. Its comforting isn`t it, I am sure there is a parallel dimension. Energy does not die

My sister has been brilliant, another pair of eyes on every property I will be viewing. On monday and tuesday I will be viewing three very different properties. The third one, the local cottage, she came up with something I thought about three months ago when I saw it for the first time. The exposure to being burgled, the corner, the open sweeping drive at the back, the hidden areas in the garden behind the house, over quite a low wall. Yes I agree. After these three I will honestly sit back and wait, no more travelling to viewings. I will know the right one when I see it and first priority is that it has to be in a place where I feel safe. From tuesday on, I am back to normal living and on monday I will enjoy the outing