Can't afford a baby :'-(

ViolaLass

What if you don't go back to work full time? Does part time help or make the money situation worse?

Do you have any savings already?

warby68

Wait a little while, clear your debt, do some saving. You have to be practical and temper your 'happy ever after' wishes with some reality. With little behind you, new jobs, other children to support and moderate earnings, 52 weeks off is a bit of a luxury.

I think you're in rented, yes?- you could possibly consider moving somewhere tiny and cheap to get through the first year or two. You sound very loved up so the close quarters might be ok for a while.

Yes the early years with children is hard financially so taking a bit of time to 'get straight' first makes sense. Your OH is only paying the minimum to his previous family so I suspect it will be difficult to reduce that commitment any time soon, your ages suggesting those children are still quite young.

I know everyone wants to 'enjoy' the maternity leave entitlement to the full but sometimes you're not in a position to and need to genuinely compromise and give something up to make a situation work. Your OH also has to plan carefully as he has a responsibility to other children to maintain as well.

You may get some tax credits but suspect it will depend on timing a lot and whether you go back to work as you currently wouldn't qualify I think. You can try out some scenarios online.

The baby stuff can cost very little, its the income gap and then childcare costs that sting. If you can start cutting back now and get used to it, that's useful too.

PS: be careful what you spend on a wedding too

Spendless

EndofTether wrote: »

Basically, I did the maths and we would need to find £200 every month for the first 3 years of our future child's life just to cover rent, bills and childcare - this includes me going back to work full time.

Tbh finding £200 a month can be pretty doable. I bet you could make cut backs now to what you're paying on various bills/groceries - many of us can. If you're only going to net £200 from working f-time after deducting childcare costs, what about working on an evening/weekend instead? That's what I did 17 years ago when the cost of childcare for returning to my f-time job was equivalent to my take home pay. I earned more by working when Dad could have the baby.

There's more financial help with childcare now than back then, so you might qualify for help via tax credits.


You could also start saving towards to cover the cost of those years.

Savvy_Sue

EndofTether wrote: »

plan to marry next year and start a family soon after.

One word of advice, don't plan an expensive wedding: there is plenty of advice on how to keep costs down. Watching the MLMS the other day, Martin was talking to a chap saving for a wedding, and said something simple yet profound: a lot of people invest a lot in the wedding, which is actually only one day, when what really matters is the marriage, which should hopefully last a lifetime. So do bear that in mind ...

EndofTether

Thanks all. To answer....

Our wedding is going to be standard reg office and house party at parents - minimum cost.

Finding extra 200 per month is calculated after loan is paid off and we have scaled back on everything we can think to. We would need this momey just to make ends meet, let alone anything else.

Our rent is dirt cheap and we live in a tiny 1 bed flat in a tiny town. Purposely moved from a big city to save last year.

Re. Mortgage. Its a rent to buy scheme. He pays mortgage part and housing benefit basically pays her part. I hate that he still pays it but he doesn't seem brave enough to confront the issue.

We have zero savings. I will be able to save probably a grand maybe by time potential baby comes.

I'm not planning pregnancy for at least a year.

I'm hoping I could arrange some work from home time with my job which could be a god send.

But bottom line is: either he gets off mortgage and we find some form of benefit or we win the lottery else it ain't happening. Which breaks my heart.

I got in touch with turn2us and they were seriously unhelpful!!

comeandgo

It’s good that your partner is looking after the two children he already has, but £6,000 a year is a lot from his wages.
Would you be able to do some training and get a better paid job, or could you do some part time work to increase your income for savings?
Both my daughters were 35 before they started their families so you do have time.

bertiewhite

At least you realise you can't afford to bring a child into this world - too many get pregnant and think about it afterwards.

EndofTether

Yeah 6k a year is alot!!! She rinsed him in the divorce agreement. He has ever only been able to afford 400 per month towards rent and bills. If it wasn't forme he would have to live with his parents!

Training costs money, besides I have a masters degree! The jobs market in my area at my level is approx 22-24k (digital marketing/copywriting). I can hope to get a pay rise in a year or 2. And I do have some freelance work on the side which occasionally pays well but cannot be counted on.

Thanks all but nothing is coming up that I haven't already thought of. I'm here as last resort. I think I'll just have to plead with my partner to have a serious sit down convo with his ex...

ViolaLass

What else could your partner do to increase his income?

Red-Squirrel_2

EndofTether wrote: »

I'm 32 and he's 34. We've been together for 2 years and are solid as a rock, plan to marry next year and start a family soon after. I'm thinking well in advance here.

Don’t you mean add to the family? There are already two children.