Can't afford a baby :'-(

sulphate

i think this is something people need to think about prior to settling down with anyone, that if they have children already, their disposable income will be limited compared to someone who doesn’t already have a family.

That being said, him only being able to contribute £400 a month towards your household is completely unsustainable if you wish to have a child. He’s the only one who can do anything about it. He needs to get out of the arrangement he has which involves him paying towards his ex’s mortgage.

Savvy_Sue

EndofTether wrote: »

My staff handbook just says this:

Female employees who have been continuously employed for 26 weeks or more by the end
of the 15th week before the expected week of the birth of their baby are entitled to: -
receive statutory maternity pay for up to 39 weeks;
take a further 13-week period of additional maternity leave, making a total of 52
weeks’ leave.

Doesn't mention figures so I assume it's basic rate?

spadoosh has set it out correctly, but see below:

spadoosh wrote: »

That means 6 weeks of 90% of your average weekly earnings. And then the lower of 33 weeks of £140.98 or 90% of average weekly earnings. Then 13 weeks unpaid.

And you only have the right to return to your current job if you return after 39 weeks (or earlier), this is called Ordinary Maternity Leave. If you take (any of) the 13 weeks unpaid (Additional Maternity Leave) then they have to try to return you to your current job, but they don't HAVE to keep the exact same job open for you.

sulphate

On second thoughts, I think you could make some serious savings and I agree to do a SoA to see where your money is going.

Your partners wage of £20k should give him £1397 roughly every month after tax. Minus the £500 that goes to his ex and children and the £400 that he contributes to your household, that still leaves him with £497. Where’s that going?

surveyqueenuk

EndofTether wrote: »

In the divorce he agreed to keep joint mortgage as he felt guilty about the whole thing.

Guilty about what exactly?

euronorris

sulphate wrote: »

On second thoughts, I think you could make some serious savings and I agree to do a SoA to see where your money is going.

Your partners wage of £20k should give him £1397 roughly every month after tax. Minus the £500 that goes to his ex and children and the £400 that he contributes to your household, that still leaves him with £497. Where’s that going?

That's my thoughts also.


OP's net salary (assuming she is contributing to her work's pension scheme) would be in the region of £1,400pm. That, plus £497 from partner should comfortably cover their bills. Though I agree, there would still not be much wriggle room.


My DH and I cope on my salary alone (he stays home with our daughter). It's tight, but we manage, and our total net income is in the region of £1,900 (with child benefit and working tax credit) - rent £695pm. We still manage to save a small amount each month.


We did have to have savings before I took maternity leave. We had circa £3k, and honestly I wished we'd had more as it was soooo tight. I also only had SMP available to me, so returned to work officially after 24 weeks (and had 2 weeks accured holiday before actually returning to the office so that we were back to normal income asap). A year off was a pipe dream for us.


But, for OP, childcare is going to be the biggest issue. One of them staying at home full time will not be an option due to his maintenance and mortgage payment commitments.


However, it is not clear where that £497 is going, and if it can be found, could make a huge difference - imagine saving that every month for 2 years, then getting pregnant (still saving it for 9 months) - That would be in the region of £16,400!!! Enough to cover maternity leave for 6 months, and possibly enough to supplement income for the next 30 months (for childcare), until child becomes old enough to be eligible for free childcare.

WibblyGirly

Depending on how desperate he is to buy another house in the next 6 years, I'd be tempted to stop paying that mortgage and force ex's hand into either paying for it herself, selling the house or letting the bank take it, trashing both credit scores but getting him out of that tangled situation.

cyantist

I know it's frustrating that a big proportion of your partner's income goes to his ex, but he does have to provide for his kids and I don't think it's fair for him to try to get out of a prior arrangement with his ex.

A SOA might help you realise where the extra money is going, but it seems like there's not enough wiggle room with those earning to save what you'd need to. But as yo're thinking about it well in advance there's plenty you can do as it's probably easier or you to earn more money than cut back when you already live quite frugally.

I make and sell things on etsy. It only gets me ~£50 a month profit but I spend very little time and effort on it to be honest. I do it mainly because I enjoy making the things I sell but there's lots of people I know who have etsy shops making a variety of things.

Could you and/or your partner get a second job? Working even just 2 evenings a week would enable you to save quite a bit. If you rarely go out it's not going to interfere with your social life a lot!

euronorris wrote: »

But, for OP, childcare is going to be the biggest issue. One of them staying at home full time will not be an option due to his maintenance and mortgage payment commitments.

But... if the OPs partner was the stay at home parent surely there would be no maintenance payments as he wouldn't be earning anything?

euronorris

cyantist wrote: »

But... if the OPs partner was the stay at home parent surely there would be no maintenance payments as he wouldn't be earning anything?

Genuinely don't know. I don't have any experience of child maintenance. But, it seems he's not willing to address the issue of him paying for half the mortgage, so child maintenance aside, he'd still be wanting to pay out that £250 each which I seriously doubt they could afford on just her salary.

DavidF

Think the last few posters are wasting their time - op didn't like what she heard and has left the building. FWIW - When the original kids are adults then it may be that the house is sold and everyone will be quids in.

But im afraid the way the op has reacted to the posters on this thread coupled with the language used maybe indicates a degree of jealousy and immaturity that may need working on before bringing new life into this hard old world.

Kim_13

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Won't his maintenance payments to the two children he has go down if there is a new baby into the mix?

Only slightly. Running a quick calculation on the online calculator suggests it would reduce by around £6 a week: https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance

Having the children overnight would also reduce the amount payable by 1/7 for each night he has them per week.