What are you making for dinner?

JIL

goldfinches said:

Went to evening class and came home with a delicious sweetcorn risotto and an intractable problem. One of the other learners pestered me and then tried to grab me when I told him to return to his station and to stop being creepy. I dodged and he went, muttering under his breath. I thought that was that but then the tutor needed the class to pair up a couple of hours later and assigned us to work together and when I asked to work with someone else we were taken aside together to explain the problem so I had to say I didn't want to be grabbed.
I really thought I'd aged out of this sort of thing so I didn't recognise it until it was too late and I have wrenched joints from dodging the grab as well as a sore shoulder because I wasn't fast enough. Now what do I do? I've already said I don't want to make an official complaint and that I'm alright and I'll see everyone next week but I don't fancy weeks and weeks of "I'm sorry if you feel I'm invading your personal space, I didn't mean to make you feel like that" all said while getting closer and closer and reaching towards me which is what happened in the last five minutes tonight.
I'm not even sure which board to put this post on, what sort of heading do evening classes and harassment come under do you think? 
B u g g e r the man, he's spoilt something I was really enjoying and rattled the tutor, all because he thought I owed him my admiring attention. 

That's awful for you. 
I would suggest the families board. 
You have told him how he has made you feel. He needs to back off. If next week he does approach you again, try the three simple blunt sentences along the lines of.

I explained that you invaded my personal space last week and how it made me feel.
I want to just carry on with the course.
Please dont make the situation worse by repeating your actions.

I thought situations like this were in the past. I'm sorry that you have had this experience.


For dinner tonight, husband had pie, which was supposed to be last night but he wasnt feeling well, so slept for a few hours and had toast. 
So pie tonight for him and I made a pasta salad and quorn nuggets for me. Then we ate it in the garden with a bottle of chilled wine. 

C_J

@goldfinches - how awful for you, you absolutely should not be subjected to this sort of behaviour.  The tutor is aware, and should do something about it - the very least being that he/she keeps the two of you physically separated and never pairs you up for joint work.

You said before that this course is run in one of the Colleges. Is the tutor someone external who has just booked the space to run their course, or is the tutor a College employee? They have such strict rules about harassment and inappropriate behaviour. I would suggest having a quiet word before the start of the next session and make it clear that if anything happens again to make you uncomfortable you will be reporting it to the College Harassment Officer (there will be one, and it will be easy enough to find the name).

Anyone who doesn’t behave properly should be told to leave the course, imo. I hope you’re okay, and that he hasn’t spoiled what was clearly a very enjoyable hobby for you.

C_J

We are babysitting little grandchildren tonight. Usually we would have a takeaway delivered as a suppertime treat for us after the kiddiwinks have gone to bed, but in the interests of MSE frugality I am making a coconut chicken curry and rice to take with us and bung in my daughter’s microwave!

Islandmaid

@goldfinches that’s dreadful - please ask to speak to student support and explain the situation, it must be formally noted, even if you don’t want to it to go further, I’m afraid it is assault and you would never forgive yourself if someone less, (struggling for the word) resilient? Had to endure this behaviour.  It’s possible that it is mental health driven etc, so at least this person needs to be highlighted as needing help and or guidance about appropriate behaviour - Must have really put a dampener on something you appear to be enjoying so much - Hope you are okay xx

double thick sirloin steak on BBQ tonight, with wine 🥳

Brie

@goldfinches
I bet he wonders why you didn't take it as a compliment.  some men are the worst kind of idiots.

I agree with the others that the tutor should help you sort this and if necessary boot the misogynistic twit out.

Florenceem

Mr F came home with a carrier bag of tomatoes - free yesterday. I already had tomatoes in the fridge so I changed last night's menu to include toms. So wraps tonight for dinner.

Caroby

Sweet and sour stir-fry tonight. I've got a simple but tasty recipe for the sauce but nowadays I don't keep all the ingredients in stock (need white wine). So taken to using a jar of Aldi's for 69p, it's not the same but ok. I stir-fry courgette, sweet pepper, carrot and celery with half a tin of chickpeas, add sauce, heat through and serve with brown basmati rice and breaded soya nuggets (DH has Quorn nuggets).
Hm fruit scone and a coffee after.

Smoosh

@goldfinches I'm sorry to read about what happened. I agree with the others - it really should be reported to someone and I hope it is not taken lightly. I'm so angry that he feels he has the right to behave like that and is ruining something you find such joy in. 

Smoosh

OH is out so I had a packet of tomato and olive pasta. Followed by ice cream (YS). 

Islandmaid

Very warm from first light here 🥵 

simple BBQ for later using up salad and potato salad.

also made a biscoff cheesecake for the family and some Keto friendly chocolate ice cream for me 🙂