Money Moral Dilemma: Should I force my friend to replace my £700 camera lens?

csikijanos

How much would you value the friendship?

Seek reconciliation without mention of the lens to start with. Any material return is a bonus.

adibell

LesD wrote: »

Can I be snarky and rude and ask if you really believe these 'dilemmas' are real?

The fun is all about how snarky and rude the readers can be.

Why would anyone join MSE just to post this 'dilemma'?

I thought that...then I posted my dilemma to MSE, then a week later, there it is in the newsletter and here I am joining the forum purely to post the full story. I'm a real person, with a real loss-based dilemma (see two posts above yours for the full story), so nah, please don't be snarky and rude. Thank you

amistupid

MSE_Sarah wrote: »

We haven't spoken for over a year now and he's 'unfriended' me on Facebook.

Every cloud has a silver lining.

archie1411

You are way too late - too late to claim on insurance, too late to get the money back. Write it off to experience and, if it happens again, claim on your insurance

Pollycat

adibell wrote: »

I thought that...then I posted my dilemma to MSE, then a week later, there it is in the newsletter and here I am joining the forum purely to post the full story. I'm a real person, with a real loss-based dilemma (see two posts above yours for the full story), so nah, please don't be snarky and rude. Thank you

Why didn't you join the forum and post your dilemma under your own user name?

TBH, these dilemmas get 'snarky & rude' (not sure who said that) comments because there's very little information in the start of the thread and it's very rare that the 'OP' comes back to clarify points raised.

Anyway, now that you're here - welcome to MSE :hello: and I hope you get some benefit from it.

REJP

If you can prove he lost it and refused to claim on insurance, my suggestion would be to go to the Small Claims Court.
Can you prove he had insurance?
He has unfriended you so you are not going to lose a friend are you?
I have found in the past that the suggestion of going to the Small Claims Court suddenly results in “lost property” reappearing, or money being found to settle a debt before details are published in local papers.
Very sad to see the nasty posts saying the person asking for advice is being called stupid for not claiming on his or her own insurance, or the sarcastic response about unfriending. The insurance company would see this as a criminal case and want proof of theft, and a claim case number from the police as it would have had to be reported as theft at the time the so called friend “lost” the lens.
If this is a genuine request for advice and not a made up problem why can we not be helpful and not dismissive to the loser? Sarcasm helps nobody.

EachPenny

adibell wrote: »

I thought that...then I posted my dilemma to MSE, then a week later, there it is in the newsletter and here I am joining the forum purely to post the full story. I'm a real person, with a real loss-based dilemma (see two posts above yours for the full story), so nah, please don't be snarky and rude. Thank you

Perhaps you can appreciate that many people reading the original dilemma have assumed there probably isn't a real person behind it, and therefore comments made in response are not personal about you, but made in response to what might seem like far-fetched scenario offered up for discussion by MSE.

Therefore getting snarky with people who have commented on what seems like a random dilemma is a little unfair.

Your full story paints a very different picture to the one presented in the original post. Had you come onto the site in person with the full story then you'd have got a far more helpful reaction in the first place - and I don't mean that as criticism of you, just explaining why some people would comment differently on a 'story' in comparison to someone's genuine problem.

As for the problem, I'm really not sure there is anything you can do which will make the situation better. You could try the SC route, but how will you prove that the friend didn't give the lens back? Even if you still have texts and emails from the friend saying he's looking for it, what's to stop him telling the court that the lens was found and returned to you? At the end of the day it could be a case of your word against his, he could even produce a witness to confirm that the lens was given back. That of course would be perjury, but how would you prove it? You couldn't produce a witness to confirm the lens was never given back.

stmartinsdiver

I'd be furious with myself for not following it up at the time but now it's too late mate. Forget about Facebook as those 'Friends' are so often just meaningless ego-props. You are not in a position to force anyone to do anything - all you have control of are your own actions so just put it down to experience and move on.

pugsydog

Do you have any kind of receipt from the camera shop? Maybe call by asking them to look in their paperwork for when it was left with them. Arm yourself with details, tell your ex friend you are taking them to court and do it. They need to be stopped before they do something to somebody else.

Rex_Mundi

I reckon you have two courses of action.

Put it down to experience and swallow the loss.

Or

Make a claim in small claims court.

I think under the limitation act 1980 you are still in time to make a claim in court. To do this you would need to send your friend a letter before action giving them a reasonable time to settle the dispute. Some people say 14 days but I've always used 28 days as reasonable. Send the letter recorded delivery to prove it was received.

For small claims you can also add 8% interest per annum to the £700 plus the court fee plus travel expenses and loss of earnings if you need to take a day off to attend a hearing

In court you would need to prove the cost of the lens and the fact your friend lost it. If you have in writing your friend saying they would pay you for the loss. This would be ideal.