Mooloo’s Managing it in 2018

Artytarty

How uncanny! It really sounds like it could have been written with you in mind!

Savvy_sewing

Biggest has spoken to social, possible meeting today at 1pm
Not any other details.
Apparently DS and GF have just arrived

Savvy_sewing

DS and gf were late, but they came to see the boys, the social contacted them and told them they were taking the boys for a meeting today and moving them tomorrow, they don't need to sign anything else as they did it when they signed them to Biggest apparently. So different information then we were originally told and a lot of angst for nothing.
Everyone has gone now and I am going to have a sleep while I can.
Dgd is going to be upset about the move, but it is definitely for the best, although I just had a little cry as I rang the School to tell them Dgd is cycling home today.
I think I am counting the days to my holiday now.
I need a break.
DS looked desolate as the boys went off with his sister. The GF was drama queen panda eyes, etc and clinging to the baby. It's not anything I want anyone to have to go through.
If I could change the system to provide parenting lessons, support, and budgeting etc I would.
For now I have to trust that they all get their act together and work it out. But I am probably wishing in vane.
Right enough emotions for now.
I need sleep while I can. The boys are staying here with me tonight.

Chrystal

Try not to beat yourself up Mooloo. You aren't wonderwoman no matter how hard you try to be.

((((HUGS)))) XX

Savvy_sewing

To be honest I never wanted to be Wonder Woman, super gran or anything in between.
I just wanted to be a good Mum, a good role model and live my best life I could.
So far it's not working though. I am definitely at the run away mode, and the bury head in duvet till all is sorted.
But it is not to be.
I managed a nap but the phone woke me.
I feel relieved that the boys will be moved together, but anxious too.
Hopefully Biggest will come back with some positive thoughts about the new family.
I know that this is tough on her as she loves the boys. Having got close the last month or so I totally understand.
At the moment I am sad, but I will get through it, like I did before.
Although I had counselling last time.
It is a glorious day and I am sitting on the garden swing seat with my tea. Imagining that future I am going to chase.

dreaming

Hi Mooloo - I wish I could take away your pain but having recently lived through some pretty torrid family stuff myself I know that you can think one thing and at the same time FEEL something entirely different. I know in the past you have kept a journal/diary of your feelings. Are you still doing this? I know it helped me a great deal to be able to write out all the anger, pain, fear, hopelessness. My mantra at the time was "one day this will be in the past". My stuff is sorted (or as much as it can be) but I still have times when I just want to get in the car and drive until the petrol runs out. Unfortunately I found out the hard way that there is very little provision in our bankrupt county (I am Northants too although I think it is pretty much the same elsewhere) for any real help from Social Services - we literally were passed from pillar to post and back again, until we were all at breaking point. So no words of wisdom from me - I just wanted to add my support for all you do for your family, and hope that you will soon find some peace of mind.

Savvy_sewing

Biggest is happy with the family she met today. The boys were fine with meeting them and will go with Biggest at some stage tomorrow.
The Shop is closed on Wednesday anyway, so I will take the rest of the week off and reopen next week. I will bring some work home and do it here on Friday etc and hopefully by Monday we will be back to normal etc.
I hope that I will regain some peace of mind, and the customers will come back .
The funds for the work we did last week is now in the bank, and I will get the money from the shop next door tomorrow to bank.
I want to be as positive as I can be.
Yes I do still have a diary but not had enough energy to write in it that much lately. Maybe I will tomorrow when the house is empty again.

Savvy_sewing

The boys are asleep. The baby was due a feed around now, this is the first time he has slept past a feed for me.
I am going to make a feed, and take it up to the bedroom and see if I can get some sleep.
Cancel that he's awake

beanielou

Hope that you do manage to get some sleep tonight.

Savvy_sewing

Feed done and he went straight back to sleep didn't start playing etc fingers crossed for a few hours.
Night