We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.

This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.

📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

Mooloo’s Managing it in 2018

19192949697203

Comments

  • Eager_Elephant
    Eager_Elephant Posts: 4,714 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Mooloo wrote: »
    YWhat I would really like is a soak in the bath! Perhaps I will get one if DS and his gf come to see the boys this afternoon.
    They asked what time they could come over and I said anytime but baring in mind she is at work at 3pm
    The reply was it would be early afternoon because she was working until 2am last night.
    Nice to know she will get her 8 Plus hours sleep and I am surviving on less than 6.

    Is there a reason DS could not come round this morning and GF follow later?

    I'm sorry but I think these few sentences sum up exactly why they shouldnt have the boys back - I'm not sure that they even care that much about them.
    If my children were being looked after by family and there was no restriction on my visiting I would be there constantly (except work), being with them as much as possible.

    I hope you get your bath - shame you are not closer, I would have popped round and looked after them for you.
  • BrassicWoman
    BrassicWoman Posts: 3,218 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Mortgage-free Glee!
    Mooloo,


    I don't believe family is always best. Someone who has the resources to keep going is best.


    That is not you.


    xx
    2021 GC £1365.71/ £2400
  • Cairn
    Cairn Posts: 39 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 10 Posts
    Very true @elephant.

    Is DS working? If not (and possibly even if he is), can he stop stop over on the sofa one night so you can get a full nights sleep?

    It!!!8217;s a shame that they won!!!8217;t get support but I guess that!!!8217;s austerity for you, was this help available previously?

    I!!!8217;m glad you!!!8217;ve come to a logical conclusion, I cannot imagine how hard it must be. Do remember that you haven!!!8217;t caused this situation, their parents did.
  • Savvy_sewing
    Savvy_sewing Posts: 11,580 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Rampant Recycler
    Is there a reason DS could not come round this morning and GF follow later?

    I'm sorry but I think these few sentences sum up exactly why they shouldnt have the boys back - I'm not sure that they even care that much about them.
    If my children were being looked after by family and there was no restriction on my visiting I would be there constantly (except work), being with them as much as possible.

    I hope you get your bath - shame you are not closer, I would have popped round and looked after them for you.

    I Have messaged DS and asked him to come earlier as I am shattered. Let's see what happens. But not holding out any hope.
    They will probably both be asleep.
    The baby has nodded off in the bouncy chair. Dgd is in my chair ion her gadget she's back from a sleep over with little sleep.
    She asked if we were going anywhere today but I don't feel like it after the carnival and spending outcaround £70 Yesterday.
    We can't sit on the other sofa as it's soaking wet with black currant juice as while I was feeding the baby the lads supposed non soil cup emptied itself all over the place.
    Spoke to soon baby has woken again.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
  • Savvy_sewing
    Savvy_sewing Posts: 11,580 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Rampant Recycler
    No sign of my son.
    If they don't arrive soon their children will be down for their afternoon nap!
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
  • markdebby
    markdebby Posts: 156 Forumite
    Moo, I don't usually get involved in other people's business but what if Ds and GF have more children? You can't keep on taking more and more children and I'm sure you would feel that you would need to take them as well.
  • Savvy_sewing
    Savvy_sewing Posts: 11,580 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Rampant Recycler
    I dread to think!
    They arrived at 1.40
    Just left. So two hours gave me a rest although I noddedoff it wasn't for long as my brother phoned to update me on my Mum's Health, then Dgd came into see me! Then the lad came running around upstairs.
    Oh well
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
  • sarahevie1
    sarahevie1 Posts: 630 Forumite
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Posts Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    Do they genuinely want the boys back? I think that this is crucial. I'm not getting a good impression really, 2 hours? That really isn't a lot.

    I've been secretly hoping you would keep the boys, I really have, but I don't know why as logic tells me history would end up repeating itself. I worked in prisons for a number of years and I think this is why I am so anti the care system.

    Only you know in your heart, I was really hoping Biggest would have them full time. Nothing constructive to add, as I think it's one of those you can't understand until you've walked a mile in someone's shoes.
    HOME
    Original mortgage free date Nov 2037
    Mortgage free August 2018

    Additional properties
    Mortgage 1 £108,000
    Mortgage 2 £45,000
    Teacher pension - DB scheme
    LGPS pension - DB scheme
  • Savvy_sewing
    Savvy_sewing Posts: 11,580 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Rampant Recycler
    After my head has finished cement mixing it is difficult but I think more advice from all around me has been not to take them on, and as I feel so tired today, and tied down to the house without a massive logistics manoeuvre I think that I am probably not going to be able to have them long term. Yes Mum and Dad want them back etc, but as they are unable to access any benefits and are in debt up to their eyeballs they are trying to take any shifts they can. Or she is. He has done some work but under her name. I told him that they need to do it under his name because of the tax allowance etc.
    But today they miss placed the bank card and wasted time looking for that.
    The lads sleep time never happened again so he is grotty, the baby has nodded off while my foot bounces his chair but as soon as I stop his eyes open. So I am bouncing while I have my cuppa.
    I need to collect a parcel from Tesco Express, but the effort to get them all sorted and ready to go for a walk in this heat is not going to happen.

    Apparently Mum refused to sign the paperwork for the boys to be moved, so that means the meeting Tom and the move Tuesday is not going to happen. I will be left holding the kids or Biggest will. I think she's a selfish inconsiderate mare.
    When they arrived the first thing they did was go to light a cigarette. She got stroppy with DS for lighting up because I handed her the baby and she couldn't have her cigarette first.
    I told them how tired I was and how little sleep I had and she turned the conversation around to her and her late night at work.
    She also annoyed me by mentioning chocolate in front of the lad, and then all he wanted was chocolate of course. I had a chocolate biscuit in the cupboard but I wasn't giving them those as they are messy in a hot day. I tend to use fruit and yoghurt for little ones.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
  • sarahevie1
    sarahevie1 Posts: 630 Forumite
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Posts Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    I wouldn't allow them to light up at all on my premises, there would be zero tolerance for that. I can't believe they thought it acceptable with children around
    HOME
    Original mortgage free date Nov 2037
    Mortgage free August 2018

    Additional properties
    Mortgage 1 £108,000
    Mortgage 2 £45,000
    Teacher pension - DB scheme
    LGPS pension - DB scheme
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 352.1K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253.5K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 454.2K Spending & Discounts
  • 245.1K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 600.7K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 177.4K Life & Family
  • 258.9K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.6K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.