Mooloo’s Managing it in 2018

Savvy_sewing

The boys are here. DS has had to go to work. The GF chose not to come. ( still in bed!)
I am washing the clothes they brought with them as they were dirty. Not the ones they were wearing, but I don't want to give back smelly clothes to the Carers.
There are definitely things that need improvement and working on.
DS said GF had a meltdown on Thursday and left him high and dry outside work, with the boys in the car. She was supposed to work and then he couldn't as he had the boys, so she has now been suspended from her job.
I am concerned, but I don't want to be the one who is the baddy, however my conscience will not let me let it go without mentioning my concerns to the social. Next Friday the boys are due to be returning home permanently.
I can't see DS coping with the boys, her issues and work.
I am worried.

pollyanna_26

I'm sorry to say this Mooloo but I agree you need to speak to SS tomorrow openly and honestly . I don't know if the carers informed them of needing to sit outside in the car for over half an hour twice in one week because both parents were still in bed . Not being up in time seems to be a pattern . Those poor little ones need routine and consistent care and it's not happening .
You love your son but need to acknowledge whatever GFs shortcomings he is equally at fault here . A father is as capable of turning on a washing machine as a mother .
The whole shift working scenario isn't working and the eldest boy should not be witnessing meltdowns and angry exchanges while being driven hither and lither .


I can't see that SS are aware of the full story but if they are they are failing in their duty to protect the vulnerable and that needs addressing now . Bottom line is both parents are living poorly structured and chaotic lives and those boys need routine and proper care .


I feel for you on the day you planned the family get together which now will be not so joyful . So many things have been altered , postponed and changed recently due to ds and gf . Please pick up that phone tomorrow and insist on speaking to someone in SS .



polly x




Edit to say You are not the baddy . You may be the angel in this sad and sorry mess.

Savvy_sewing

Baby is asleep, and Dgs3 and I are watching Gangster Granny. Dgd is playing on her Xbox. We have about an hour before the rest arrive.

I feel sad. That's the truth. So Sad.

pollyanna_26

I feel sad too Mooloo for you , Biggest and dgd . I hesitated a while before writing what I did but the little ones are the priority now .
At least it should be a nice family afternoon with no stress or arguments now it 's just you , dgd and Biggests family with the boys .


It's an awful position to be in . I don't know whether the foster carers have passed on their concerns to SS but if they have a little time when they arrive it could be worth having a quick chat if they aren't too exhausted after the long journey home .


Gentle hug and strength to you and I hope I didn't upset you .


polly x

beanielou

I feel sad too.

mellymoo74

Me too
Just want to reiterate that this is not your fault, you are not the baddy.

Wish I could make it better xx

Savvy_sewing

Carers stopped for a long chat, and Biggest and I told them our fears. I said that I would tell the Social, but he doesn't seem to listen to them or me.

I am shattered now.
Biggests Husband took a look at the exhaust and it fell off! So it's now in the boot of the car ! Garage call Tom.

beanielou

So were the carers singing from the same carol sheet?

pollyanna_26

I'm with beanielou . Have the carers got concerns too? I would advise as previously mentioned insisting on speaking to someone higher up the chain at SS . Explain how the SW doesn't appear to be taking your feedback seriously and taking note of your concerns . Write down the issues that are worrying you and others re returning the boys shortly .


You've already mentioned your concern the present carers may be lost if the boys go back shortly and the situation breaks down . There possibly will not be monitoring going on over the holidays coming up . The last things the boys need is to be stuck in a bad situation or needing emergency placement .




It sounds as though the foster carers are pretty experienced . As they aren't being listened to either it would be helpful if they would also phone and go higher than that SW too .
pollyx

thorsoak

I wouldn't bother talking to the social worker appointed to the case of the children - go to head of Social Services and express your concerns. The wellbeing of these two little boys is of paramount importance - not their parents, not the convenience of a young social worker.