Renovations and Repayments II: New Year, New Start, New Diary.

AlexLK

Suffolk_lass wrote: »

If you get a chance Alex, check out the Rutland Ospreys as they are likely to fledge soon - some flapping of wings while they get ready

Thank you, SL.

We still check the ospreys each evening before my son goes to sleep.

beanielou wrote: »

Good news all round.

Thank you, beanie.

PositiveBalance wrote: »

I'm still rubbish - let me know what your secret is when you have nailed it!

:rotfl: Not quite there yet and likely to be saying that for a long time yet!

PositiveBalance wrote: »

Sounds great; Mrs LK spending time with Master LK, you having a relaxing drink and selling some things to pay for your lovely cabinets. Can't beat that for a start to the weekend, really.

It was a good day and a good weekend had too.

AlexLK

Pleased with ...
* Personal finances starting to look healthy with over £10,000 saved so far this year.
* Mortgage overpayments for the year so far are going to reach £5,000 this month.
* First project complete, sold and just over £20,000 profit made.
* Enjoying my job. Had the opportunity to look at a lovely 200 year old building today and advise on a potential scheme of redevelopment. For the first time in my life I want to go to work and can't wait to further my career. Feel very grateful and fortunate for getting this opportunity.
* Son's final prep for music exams going very, very well (can't wait to accompany him) and a brilliant opportunity to join a new orchestra. He seems to have grown so fast and starting to take responsibility for practising both instruments.

Things I need to stop doing ...
* Sending emojis in work emails... :rotfl: :eek:
* Making excuses to not record spending.

PositiveBalance

Wow! Great times in the LK household!


I'm delighted work seems to suit you so well. Do you have any other spare careers down the back of the sofa you could lend me?!


P.S. *says to self as well* GET TO BED!

newgirly

Glad everything is going well Alex

beanielou

All going well

daisy_1571

AlexLK wrote: »

Thank you, wishing.



Thank you, beanie.



Thank you, littlegreenparrot.

You are right about work. I suppose I consider those motives selfish. Ultimately, it is because I'm thinking about my well being.

I had not considered showing my son a work-life balance but that makes a lot of sense, thank you. I suppose my real concern is him growing up to think Mrs. K. and I only care about work and put it before him. My parents certainly did and thought sending me to an expensive school made up for that. He loves spending time at my cousin's and looks forward to the holidays from school. At least he's not counting down the days to return, so hopefully I'm doing something right.

Dictionary definition of selfish is "lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure"

Have a look back over your diary and tell me where you have put this above your concerns for your son? Be realistic about the times you have suffered with mh issues and see if you can rate your behaviour to your family at that point ? Was it then that you took up more of their time and thoughts as they maybe tiptoe around you or tried not to upset you or devised ways to bring you back to the outside world depending on how this manifested itself.

If you do feel like doing that little exercise, I hope you will see that to give a healthy priority to a fulfilling job which in turn helps round out your own life and gives you plenty of posiitve mental interactions has to be one of the least selfish things you can do for yourself and your family. It is surely the best thing for them that you are well, happy, stable and fulfilled. That's when a person reacts healthily to small crises, keeps on top of things like money, drinking, food and sleep and is more likely to have a 'balanced' life all round. That's when perhaps the fear you had in earlier posts about your son growing up and becoming independent of you both might be a wee bit alien to how you how feel when contemplating that scenario now in a more balanced frame of mind.

As others have said spending time with parents is lovely when you are a child but it is also good to spend time elsewhere, esp as he gets older, so when you come together again you all have things to talk about. A close friendship with his cousins and working with the animals sounds a lot more fun than a holiday crammed full of more (what always sounds to me like) school work. I know you place a great priority on him being ahead of what the teacher is teaching but let them do the teaching and let him have completely different things to do in the holidays. How is he to know what he likes and doesnt like if everything he does, weekday, weekend, evening and holiday has the same 'taste'?

I would also respectfully suggest (never having been a parent but being a child of parents and seeing other people parent as well as seeing how they turn out as people who have been parented) that while you might feel "this "is a point he will remember and hate me for, that whatever "this" was will not even be on his radar and if asked when an adult it will be some other point that you never even considered that he will remember. I'm pretty sure my first 18 years was filled with the same number of minutes and hours as anyone else's but I don't remember individual school holidays or times - I remember it in a general I-had-an-overall-happy-childhood sort of way. Bet most folk are the same. You don't sound like there is horrific things going on in your boy's life so his early years will also all blend together I'm sure. If i may say, its your angst, not his, hes still a child at this moment.

Hope that's helpful, you seem to be doing really well just now Alex, keep it up, I think you are doing loads of things right

Daisy xx

beanielou

Remember that you are a fab parent.

AlexLK

PositiveBalance wrote: »

Wow! Great times in the LK household!


I'm delighted work seems to suit you so well. Do you have any other spare careers down the back of the sofa you could lend me?!


P.S. *says to self as well* GET TO BED!

Thanks, PB.

You'd have to ask Mrs. K. if she knows anyone else that could do with a bit of help. :rotfl:

Up late again tonight. Have a quiet day tomorrow, though.

newgirly wrote: »

Glad everything is going well Alex

beanielou wrote: »

All going well

Thanks, both.

AlexLK

daisy_1571 wrote: »

Dictionary definition of selfish is "lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure"

Have a look back over your diary and tell me where you have put this above your concerns for your son? Be realistic about the times you have suffered with mh issues and see if you can rate your behaviour to your family at that point ? Was it then that you took up more of their time and thoughts as they maybe tiptoe around you or tried not to upset you or devised ways to bring you back to the outside world depending on how this manifested itself.

If you do feel like doing that little exercise, I hope you will see that to give a healthy priority to a fulfilling job which in turn helps round out your own life and gives you plenty of posiitve mental interactions has to be one of the least selfish things you can do for yourself and your family. It is surely the best thing for them that you are well, happy, stable and fulfilled. That's when a person reacts healthily to small crises, keeps on top of things like money, drinking, food and sleep and is more likely to have a 'balanced' life all round. That's when perhaps the fear you had in earlier posts about your son growing up and becoming independent of you both might be a wee bit alien to how you how feel when contemplating that scenario now in a more balanced frame of mind.

As others have said spending time with parents is lovely when you are a child but it is also good to spend time elsewhere, esp as he gets older, so when you come together again you all have things to talk about. A close friendship with his cousins and working with the animals sounds a lot more fun than a holiday crammed full of more (what always sounds to me like) school work. I know you place a great priority on him being ahead of what the teacher is teaching but let them do the teaching and let him have completely different things to do in the holidays. How is he to know what he likes and doesnt like if everything he does, weekday, weekend, evening and holiday has the same 'taste'?

I would also respectfully suggest (never having been a parent but being a child of parents and seeing other people parent as well as seeing how they turn out as people who have been parented) that while you might feel "this "is a point he will remember and hate me for, that whatever "this" was will not even be on his radar and if asked when an adult it will be some other point that you never even considered that he will remember. I'm pretty sure my first 18 years was filled with the same number of minutes and hours as anyone else's but I don't remember individual school holidays or times - I remember it in a general I-had-an-overall-happy-childhood sort of way. Bet most folk are the same. You don't sound like there is horrific things going on in your boy's life so his early years will also all blend together I'm sure. If i may say, its your angst, not his, hes still a child at this moment.

Hope that's helpful, you seem to be doing really well just now Alex, keep it up, I think you are doing loads of things right

Daisy xx

Thank you, Daisy.

A lot to think about there. Just about to go to bed so will put some thoughts aside until tomorrow but it is only now I realise I must have been very difficult to live with when things were not so good.

Not looked at my parenting in the way you've detailed before but I've focused perhaps too much on his education at the expense of other things.

If my son grows up to think he had a happy childhood overall but few vivid memories, I would think I'd done a good job, to be honest.

beanielou wrote: »

Remember that you are a fab parent.

Thank you, beanie. Having recently wrote on someone else's diary I think us parents are far too harsh on ourselves, I'm going to take the approach of taking the complement, not becoming complacent and to carry on doing my best.

badmemory

I'm sure this must be a quote from someone very important - parenthood thy name is guilt.


I've never met a GOOD parent who doesn't feel guilty about some aspect of their parenting. So the opposite must be true, that if you feel guilty then you must be a good parent!