Renovations and Repayments II: New Year, New Start, New Diary.

Red-Squirrel_2

AlexLK wrote: »

To be honest, the comments came from their husbands. By their accounts a lot of them had children and in the process seem to have changed.

Not surprising really, having your son changed you didn't it?

Those comments would make me lose a touch of respect for the husbands, not the wives.

AlexLK

Can't quite believe another month is just about over and we're nearly half way through the year. :eek:

Not been in a great place for the last week or so but getting through trying to be positive about things. To be honest, I think life is just a bit too busy at the moment and I have a lot to think about.

Almost spent a lot of money on a couple of occasions but managed to avoid it.

Red Squirrel: I suppose they were bemoaning their wives conforming to more traditional stereotypes and becoming less outgoing upon seeing my wife has not become affected in that way by age / children / anything else.

beanielou

Keep plodding:).

AlexLK

Had an awful week: struggling with parenting , struggling with my own parents and unsure what solutions are available. I've found making time to do things with my son this half term very difficult, despite thinking about a break away we just worked and I'm feeling quite guilty he's basically spent the week with my cousin. Wife doesn't see this as a problem, of course. My father seems to be completely exhausted without any medical explanation. They've told my parents he's just "overdone things" and "the weather" is a likely contributory factor. Mother flew off the handle at a visiting medical professional for apparently suggesting some alterations to their property.

Updated our financial records for May which weren't terrible. In June I want to get back on track and work out year to date totals.

wishingthemortgaheaway

How does your son feel about going to your cousin's this holiday?

Haven't you got the most amazing African safari trip coming up? Doesn't that mean you need to reserve your annual leave for that?

Sadly parents need to tackle these juggling acts all the time. A family I know, at the moment, get 1 week a year off together as the rest of the parent's annual leave has to be taken separately in order to cover holiday child care. (No family cover available)
They could put their child in a Holiday club, but they've decided to sacrifice longer family holidays for now (in favour of weekends away) so that the children get to spend as much time as possible with their parents, it's just separate at the moment.

Another family their children go for a week at one set of grandparents (north east) a week at the other grandparents (southwest) and a week at their Auntie's house to cover the summer holidays (they then get to spend a couple of days at the end of the holiday with me, poor souls)

No situation is ever entirely ideal, we do what's best for our child with 'Big picture thinking' just as you are encouraged to weigh up your healthy eating habits over the course of a day or week, weigh up your parenting choices over a longer period of time. Childcare for 4 days at May half term v an awesome once in a lifetime (for some anyway) trip overseas.

beanielou

Sorry that things are tough.
Keep plodding.

You know I think at times my parenting was dire but at nearly 25 my DS is a lovely young man

Brodiebobs

We all feel the parent guilt, especially in hols. Mine get shipped from pillar to post to avoid paying circa £30 each per day for care.

They often grumble about it, especially if at Grandparents who are boring but we explain we have to work. We've had a 5 day holiday together, the rest of our annual leave is split to cover hols, but we still have 15 days unaccounted for.

I'm sure from what you've said previously your lad enjoys spending time at your cousins? So id take comfort in that.

newgirly

You know I think at times my parenting was dire but at nearly 25 my DS is a lovely young man [/QUOTE]

I love that comment beanielou, I've yet to meet a good parent who thinks they've done a perfect job! If he's turned out well, I'm sure some of the credit must go your way

Sorry things are stressful Alex, don't beat yourself up about your cousin having your son - he probably prefers it if there are horses involved Accept that it's normal to feel a bit guilty whatever you do (stay at home/work) we all feel like that at some point, but if he's happy it's not worth dwelling on

AlexLK

wishingthemortgaheaway wrote: »

How does your son feel about going to your cousin's this holiday?

Haven't you got the most amazing African safari trip coming up? Doesn't that mean you need to reserve your annual leave for that?

Sadly parents need to tackle these juggling acts all the time. A family I know, at the moment, get 1 week a year off together as the rest of the parent's annual leave has to be taken separately in order to cover holiday child care. (No family cover available)
They could put their child in a Holiday club, but they've decided to sacrifice longer family holidays for now (in favour of weekends away) so that the children get to spend as much time as possible with their parents, it's just separate at the moment.

Another family their children go for a week at one set of grandparents (north east) a week at the other grandparents (southwest) and a week at their Auntie's house to cover the summer holidays (they then get to spend a couple of days at the end of the holiday with me, poor souls)

No situation is ever entirely ideal, we do what's best for our child with 'Big picture thinking' just as you are encouraged to weigh up your healthy eating habits over the course of a day or week, weigh up your parenting choices over a longer period of time. Childcare for 4 days at May half term v an awesome once in a lifetime (for some anyway) trip overseas.

Thank you, Wishing, I really appreciate your reply.

My son loves being at my cousin's and I think being there is a good influence on him.

Annual leave is indeed the problem. It's not something I've needed to think about since before my son was born until now and the trip later in the year has taken a lot of it. My wife keeps telling me that our son enjoys being with my cousin and there's nothing wrong with the situation. She's happy I've found myself a job I want to do and progress in and thinks this is providing a good example to our son despite me not being at home so much. I suppose I'm just questioning my actions and wondering if I'm being selfish. Felt a lot better today as he's back at school.

beanielou wrote: »

Sorry that things are tough.
Keep plodding.

You know I think at times my parenting was dire but at nearly 25 my DS is a lovely young man

Thank you, beanie.

Hope I can say that about my son when he's that age, doubt my parents could about me. :rotfl:

Brodiebobs wrote: »

We all feel the parent guilt, especially in hols. Mine get shipped from pillar to post to avoid paying circa £30 each per day for care.

They often grumble about it, especially if at Grandparents who are boring but we explain we have to work. We've had a 5 day holiday together, the rest of our annual leave is split to cover hols, but we still have 15 days unaccounted for.

I'm sure from what you've said previously your lad enjoys spending time at your cousins? So id take comfort in that.

Thank you, brodie.

As mentioned before he loves going to my cousin's. Wouldn't be surprised if he'd choose to live there if given the opportunity. :rotfl:

It's helping to know it's not just me. I suppose I don't need the job, in a way I wish I did as my mind wouldn't question my motives. Keep thinking what if my son thinks I'm choosing to be selfish.

AlexLK

newgirly wrote: »

I love that comment beanielou, I've yet to meet a good parent who thinks they've done a perfect job! If he's turned out well, I'm sure some of the credit must go your way

Sorry things are stressful Alex, don't beat yourself up about your cousin having your son - he probably prefers it if there are horses involved Accept that it's normal to feel a bit guilty whatever you do (stay at home/work) we all feel like that at some point, but if he's happy it's not worth dwelling on

Thank you, NG.

I think I've associated my wife not finding issue with how much time she spends with son equating to her not being interested or really caring about his well being. You've made me think I probably feel guilty because I was always there, school holidays were planned full of activities and I almost went into a career which would have meant that could carry on. Whereas, Mrs. K. has never been at home every holiday, so to her things are no different. She sees me as the one who takes care of our son, absolving herself of responsibility.

Ultimately, he is happy which is what matters... just need to keep telling myself that.