Regifted present from sister in law

UKTigerlily

avogadro wrote: »

If they are sending thank-you cards in the post you won't have received them yet

They aren't, as a kid we had to do just that but these don't do that at all

UKTigerlily

74jax wrote: »

I'm guessing it's the first year they haven't said thank you, in which case I'd call round or phone up and ask to speak to them. Just ask if they had a nice time and liked their toys. You are correct, they should have instigated the thank you, but I'd probably prompt them just this once. If they don't thank you then I'd have no problems in not buying again. It's not a big deal and no fUss needs to be made.

The other issue of regifting wouldn't bother me, I'd either day not to bother, or not mention it.

Not the first year no, they didn't last year either. (More my Bro/SIL as one is too young to). Can't go to see them sadly or call, but the oldest has my Whatsapp/text etc so could & Bro can FB me. Ah well lol

kingfisherblue

onlyroz wrote: »

To be honest if I didn't drink and had a nut allergy I would be pee-d off if relatives repeatedly bought me nutty alcoholic chocolates - surely they *must* know that this isn't in any way an appropriate gift?

Oh I know, but it's not worth losing any sleep over. The kids were happy with the money that she gave them

Even those who avoid alcohol or food gifts with nuts in have been known to buy me toiletries with almond oil featuring prominantly on the front of the bottle - and it's almonds that is my most severe problem

-taff

Give them back to her next year.

pipkin71

paul2louise wrote: »

but we spent quite a bit of time getting what she and her kids wanted for christmas.

paul2louise wrote: »

My husband asked her what she wanted and gave her £50 cash and £20 cash and gift cards to each of the 4 kids.

These two comments seem at odds ^^^

With regards the gift, better to say nothing than risk a long running family dispute that could drag others into the mire. Accept that she is poor at gift giving and move on. If your husband chooses to give cash and gift cards, that's his choice, really and if you've discussed it but he still wishes to do so, it really isn't worth any.unease between you.

Sea_Shell

I'm waiting to see if we get any thank-you's this year. Even a quick short text would be nice.

Poor_Single_lady

maybe I am a bit weird but I see this completely differently.
In our family the gifts given hold very little significance. If I've understood your sister in law has 3 kids to provide for at
Christmas.

Your husband has spent £50 just on her- which would be unheard of in my family. we would view this as a massive amount to receive from a sibling.

I kind of think it's his gift that is causing the problems because she seems like she is much more comfortable giving gifts that (although are a bit strange) are of very small value.

In our family we would laugh about this and tell him he is a bit mad shelling out £50 just on his sister before children or anything.

Some people are quite bad at present giving and some need help, and some will never get it as long as they live. (Her not you)

But if he scales down his gift giving it might make Christmas a bit more enjoyable. I think if I was in your family I would never recover from the spending.

That said getting somebody with a nut allergy nuts for Christmas would feel quite hurtful and if I unwrapped your gift I would be hurt and it would upset me definately.

I have sister in law and feel lucky reading this because she sounds much easier than yours.

Hope it doesn't ruin your Christmas. xx

Pollycat

paul2louise wrote: »

At christmas i usually get christmas presents from sister in law that are not things that i would choose. I usually just let it ride. This year i was surprised to open my present from her. A hat that is too small and a fur collar. They both look like they have been worn. They smell scented and musty like they have been in a drawer. Its not about the money but we spent quite a bit of time and money getting what she and her kids wanted for christmas. I know regifting quite acceptable nowadays but surely not things that are obviously used. How can approach this without upsetting my husband and his family.

Wouldn't your husband be upset to know that his sister had given you a 2nd hand gift?
Not only a 2nd hand gift (I have no issues with charity shop clothing) but one that isn't clean and doesn't fit.

paul2louise wrote: »

I would love to stop gifting the adults but how do i do that when we have been doing it for a while. Her 4 kids are grown up and my husband has been buying for them for years. My son is 6. The other gifts are either in a cupboard or loft. My sis in law says she is skint a lot of the time but seems to have managed to afford a £350 new puppy this year for the family. I dont judge how people spend their money and would be so much happier if i got £2.99 bottle of wine from lidl, or some choc. Just a gesture of a gift would be fine. My husband asked her what she wanted and gave her £50 cash and £20 cash and gift cards to each of the 4 kids.

Talk to your husband.
Does he still want to give gifts?
If he does, you've an uphill battle to get him to change his mind.
But the upside is - you have almost a full year to do it in.

You said 'My husband asked her what she wanted and gave her £50 cash and £20 cash and gift cards to each of the 4 kid.
That sounds like you have 'his' and 'hers' money, rather than joint.
If your money is joint, I'd be more unhappy about his decision to gift £130 to his family without discussion than I would be about receiving a 2nd hand hat.

Tabbytabitha

paul2louise wrote: »

I would love to stop gifting the adults but how do i do that when we have been doing it for a while. Her 4 kids are grown up and my husband has been buying for them for years. My son is 6. The other gifts are either in a cupboard or loft. My sis in law says she is skint a lot of the time but seems to have managed to afford a £350 new puppy this year for the family. I dont judge how people spend their money and would be so much happier if i got £2.99 bottle of wine from lidl, or some choc. Just a gesture of a gift would be fine. My husband asked her what she wanted and gave her £50 cash and £20 cash and gift cards to each of the 4 kids.

Are you saying that you and your husband both, individually, buy presents for his sister and her adult children and that you, personally spend a fortune on them as well as your husband's small monetary gifts?
If that's the case then I can see multiple ways of cutting down this excess spending.

Grandmama

ONow retired on limited income i have gone down the route of no presents for anyone over 18 they do get cards.. No one has complained yet. All over 18 are in work and their income is better than mine. Anyone under 18 gets a cheque which their parents add to the children's saving accounts. On their 17 birthday I give them enough money for a few driving lessons. Never get a thank you. In return I usually get only one present from my son and one from my sister. Quite happy with that, it is their choice to do so. I am over 18!