Regifted present from sister in law

paul2louise

At christmas i usually get christmas presents from sister in law that are not things that i would choose. I usually just let it ride. This year i was surprised to open my present from her. A hat that is too small and a fur collar. They both look like they have been worn. They smell scented and musty like they have been in a drawer. Its not about the money but we spent quite a bit of time and money getting what she and her kids wanted for christmas. I know regifting quite acceptable nowadays but surely not things that are obviously used. How can approach this without upsetting my husband and his family.

Mojisola

paul2louise wrote: »

At christmas i usually get christmas presents from sister in law that are not things that i would choose. I usually just let it ride.

How can approach this without upsetting my husband and his family.

Suggest that you all stop buying presents for the adults in the family.

kingfisherblue

I'd just ignore it. My SiL gives me small alcohol gifts, despite knowing me for over thirty years and knowing that I have always been teetotal. This year she excelled herself and gave me liqueur chocolates with hazlenuts - I have a severe nut allergy and carry Epipens. I don't think it's malicious, just thoughtless. Instead of making a fuss, I just ignore it. There are far more important things in my life to concentrate on.

Jenniefour

Do what you normally do with presents she gives you which you don't like anyway? Charity shop? I can't see a reason for not just letting it ride, as you normally do.

barbarawright

I'm terrible at thinking of the right presents and embarassed when people spend a lot on me. Sounds as if your sister-in-law is the same. Why not suggest a £10 limit next year or charity shop finds only. Surely just having something to unwrap is the main thing?

System

paul2louise wrote: »

At christmas i usually get christmas presents from sister in law that are not things that i would choose. I usually just let it ride. This year i was surprised to open my present from her. A hat that is too small and a fur collar. They both look like they have been worn. They smell scented and musty like they have been in a drawer. Its not about the money but we spent quite a bit of time and money getting what she and her kids wanted for christmas. I know regifting quite acceptable nowadays but surely not things that are obviously used. How can approach this without upsetting my husband and his family.

I would stop spending a lot of money on them, in that case, if the lack of reciprocity is causing resentment. It's not clear whether your sister in law is well off or not but personally I would never re-gift worn clothes, no matter how brassic I was. I would even rather go to a pound shop and just buy some chocolates (as I have done in the past when times were hard).

UKTigerlily

It must be something with SIL's . . . mine asked me what I wanted & said 'it'd be so much easier if you'd just tell me' (like she'd asked repeatedly) . . I gave her a list of things I want & need, that are easy to get (as in not too far away for her to go & get etc) & £5-£10 max

She gets me candles which she should know i'd never use (two very young cats with only me to supervise them, and nowhere to keep candles out of their reach) & a bath set of things I don't use; she got not one thing from the list!

I spent a fortune getting three kids gifts I thought they'd love, plus gifts from my Dad as he didn't know what to get them & I thought it'd be nice for them to have things to open at their ages (12/8/2), wrapped it so there was an order to it so as not to ruin suprises etc & haven't even got a single photo/thank you or 's/he liked x y z'

I feel like why ask me what I want & then ignore the list? She also said she didn't know what to get my Mum, despite me being able to tell her or being able to ask my Mum for ideas

Next year if she asks what I want, i'll just say 'I don't know what to suggest as last year I gave you a list & you ignored it, but the same still applies'

I regifted the candles to my best friend's gf as I didn't see the point in them sitting in a drawer unused, have used the basket holding the bath stuff for my Lush bath bombs & as for the rest, i'll probably have to throw away which is a shame

As for the kids, I want to still buy for them but if they can't even say thanks, feel like I shouldn't until they learn

robpw2

Save yourself some money and buy your own gifts no aggro and you dont have to get things you dont want.,

maisie_cat

We stopped buying presents for all but little kids a few years ago as we all ended up with stuff we didn't need. It is much better, saves stress and money and my husband no longer has to pretend to like railway paraphernalia.

System

UKTigerlily wrote: »

As for the kids, I want to still buy for them but if they can't even say thanks, feel like I shouldn't until they learn

If they are sending thank-you cards in the post you won't have received them yet

74jax

UKTigerlily wrote: »

As for the kids, I want to still buy for them but if they can't even say thanks, feel like I shouldn't until they learn

I'm guessing it's the first year they haven't said thank you, in which case I'd call round or phone up and ask to speak to them. Just ask if they had a nice time and liked their toys. You are correct, they should have instigated the thank you, but I'd probably prompt them just this once. If they don't thank you then I'd have no problems in not buying again. It's not a big deal and no fUss needs to be made.

The other issue of regifting wouldn't bother me, I'd either day not to bother, or not mention it.