Wife taking surname

Zandoni

maman wrote: »

Why isn't there an option to just have 'Jane Smith' or similar. That's what I'd insist on. Do all the men have 'Mr John Smith' on theirs?


Incidentally my DH doesn't wear a ring, never has but I'd like to put it on record that he's not available!:D

It’s not our policy to display first names on badges so it’s either Mr Mrs, Miss or Ms. Exceptions are made for Dr etc.
You wouldn’t be able to insist and there is no descrimination against any sex.

moneyistooshorttomention

I'm in the process of abandoning having any title at all (it used to be Ms).

I don't feel comfortable using "Mx" (as I'm not quite sure whether it has "connotations" that wouldnt apply to me).

I await results from just signing myself as "initial/my surname". I have a feeling I might get a noticeable number of letters/emails addressed to "Mr My Surname" for a while - and have to send them back ones signed as "my first name/my surname" and hope I embarrass them out of that wrong assumption they just made (ie that no title means its a man):rotfl:. Just as well my first name is one of the ones that is obviously a womans name...

[Deleted User]

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

I think we've all forgotten the "wild card" too.

That being that some couples that get married are both the same sex as each other. Now it's never occurred to me to wonder what they do about surnames as I dont know any.....guessing they each keep their own?

I mentioned this in my earlier post (no 31). My friends chose a new name which they both took.

Pollycat

I got married (for the first time) when it was more common than not that a woman took her husband's name.
I never gave it a thought, just became Mrs 'husband's surname'.
I didn't particularly like my maiden name anyway.

When we separated, I kept my married name.
When I remarried, I changed my name to my husband's, it would have seemed odd to retain a name that belonged to a different man.

MothballsWallet

My wife is Russian, so her maiden name is rather difficult to pronounce for English speakers (until they're told how to say it).

I think she'll be glad to get her UK citizenship so she can use her married name instead since it's easier for English speakers to say (now spelling it can be a different matter).

Zandoni

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

I'm in the process of abandoning having any title at all (it used to be Ms).

I don't feel comfortable using "Mx" (as I'm not quite sure whether it has "connotations" that wouldnt apply to me).

I await results from just signing myself as "initial/my surname". I have a feeling I might get a noticeable number of letters/emails addressed to "Mr My Surname" for a while - and have to send them back ones signed as "my first name/my surname" and hope I embarrass them out of that wrong assumption they just made (ie that no title means its a man):rotfl:. Just as well my first name is one of the ones that is obviously a womans name...

Are you doing it just to be awkward or is there a reason?

maman

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

I'm in the process of abandoning having any title at all (it used to be Ms).

I don't feel comfortable using "Mx" (as I'm not quite sure whether it has "connotations" that wouldnt apply to me).

I await results from just signing myself as "initial/my surname". I have a feeling I might get a noticeable number of letters/emails addressed to "Mr My Surname" for a while - and have to send them back ones signed as "my first name/my surname" and hope I embarrass them out of that wrong assumption they just made (ie that no title means its a man):rotfl:. Just as well my first name is one of the ones that is obviously a womans name...

I think you could well be right about assumptions being made.

I, too, have an obviously female first name but I used to wish that I was called Chris or similar when applying for jobs in a male dominated sector. I wasn't being awkward I just wanted to be considered for my qualifications and experience on a level playing field.

Incidentally, doesn't everyone sign without a title? Although I just remembered a friend who signs off letters Jane Smith (Mrs). I think she sees it as a badge of honour!

Mojisola

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

I await results from just signing myself as "initial/my surname". I have a feeling I might get a noticeable number of letters/emails addressed to "Mr My Surname" for a while - and have to send them back ones signed as "my first name/my surname" and hope I embarrass them out of that wrong assumption they just made (ie that no title means its a man):rotfl:. Just as well my first name is one of the ones that is obviously a womans name...

As your first name makes if clear that you are a woman, you're more likely to get Ms on correspondence.

Some computer systems insist on a title being ticked so the human has to choose one for you if you don't declare one.

jackieblack

Zandoni wrote: »

There has been lots of changes in the way people do things not all of them are good. Lots of traditional things are being eroded which in my opinion is a bit of a shame.

But many of them are good.
There are lots of appalling traditional things which are rightly and thankfully being eroded.
Just a few examples, traditionally many women have had to put up with sexist remarks and behaviour in the workplace, traditionally people with disabilities were considered unemployable, traditionally people with mental health issues were locked up in asylums.
I'm sure there are many other examples, but those things being 'eroded' is certainly not 'a shame' IMO.

Just because something is traditional, that doesn't automatically make it a good thing. And just because that's what has been 'the norm' in the past doesn't mean it has to be that is the best way for the future.

Tabbytabitha

maman wrote: »

I think you could well be right about assumptions being made.

I, too, have an obviously female first name but I used to wish that I was called Chris or similar when applying for jobs in a male dominated sector. I wasn't being awkward I just wanted to be considered for my qualifications and experience on a level playing field.

Incidentally, doesn't everyone sign without a title? Although I just remembered a friend who signs off letters Jane Smith (Mrs). I think she sees it as a badge of honour!

I sign my name with Ms in brackets afterwards - it lets the recipient know how I wish to be addressed when they write back. (Formal letters, obviously.)