So surprised to be written out of my fathers will

FBaby

My first thought was that it's because when I was younger I was mentally ill, got attacked twice in the space of a month(he didn't know this) any way it put me in a situation where I was doing 'nothing', anyway one day I threw the drugs away and went back to work, this was about 6 years ago. The only thing I can think of is that maybe he thought I was a lazy bum and not worthy back then and this is the only thing being honest that I am can think of.

I think you got your answer right there. He was probably scared that you would drain the money in drugs at the time he wrote the will. The fact he left you £10k could actually be a sign that he loved you such as much and the sum he accepted you could go and 'waste', but because he loved his house so much and saw it as family heirloom, he didn't want to see any money coming from it going into drugs.

Unfortunately, he probably forgot about his will as he saw you getting better. If that is the case, and as you say you are close to your sisters, let's hope they agree that this was indeed the reason, agree that you have now definitely turned a page, and agree that all is divided by 4.

mrcjevans

FBaby wrote: »

I think you got your answer right there. He was probably scared that you would drain the money in drugs at the time he wrote the will. The fact he left you £10k could actually be a sign that he loved you such as much and the sum he accepted you could go and 'waste', but because he loved his house so much and saw it as family heirloom, he didn't want to see any money coming from it going into drugs.

Unfortunately, he probably forgot about his will as he saw you getting better. If that is the case, and as you say you are close to your sisters, let's hope they agree that this was indeed the reason, agree that you have now definitely turned a page, and agree that all is divided by 4.

Omg did it read like that :rotfl: , when I said drugs I meant the social anxiety medication I was on I don't even smoke haha. That is why I warned everyone at the top that I am not the best written!

FBaby

ha ha, sorry about that, clearly not the reason then! Were you on benefits then? Did he think that it would mean you wouldn't be entitled to them (housing benefits) if you were to become a home owner?

mrcjevans

FBaby wrote: »

ha ha, sorry about that, clearly not the reason then! Were you on benefits then? Did he think that it would mean you wouldn't be entitled to them (housing benefits) if you were to become a home owner?

It's ok hehe and no benefits

Tabbytabitha

mrcjevans wrote: »

Wow so many responses, I will try and respond to as much as I can but I? am not the best written individual haha!

My first thought was that it's because when I was younger I was mentally ill, got attacked twice in the space of a month(he didn't know this) any way it put me in a situation where I was doing 'nothing', anyway one day I threw the drugs away and went back to work, this was about 6 years ago. The only thing I can think of is that maybe he thought I was a lazy bum and not worthy back then and this is the only thing being honest that I am can think of.

Me and my three sisters are all from the same mum and dad. Me and two have them have always been close with the third being a bit more hostile towards everyone.

I have not had the best upbringing but I have indeed come through it and am super strong now. As someone pointed out I had some financial issues previously - again when I was young and made a few mistakes on a credit card and a phone bill which originated from when I first got attacked and not from my being lazy. However it has all been cleared and I worked bloody hard to turn my life around. I am very much an open book and have absolutely nothing to hide. Hard work rewarded me though and me and my now wife got a house this year.

I suppose my sister didn't think about it at the time but I have just had to have my wedding and funeral wondering what had I ever done for him to see us so differently.

I won't challenge, I won't speak to my sisters about it. I am just venting on here really because I wouldn't literally do both of those things.

It was my dads house only - me and the three girls were bought up by our mum and step father in her house.

I know I will see them differently if they don't say something to me but please do not assume that this whole scenario is just about money.

I think I will ask for a Larke & Nugus statement from the firm.



It wasn't their home, my dad would never sell his house and I can't believe they are selling it. It was his mothers house that he inherited from her and he loved it so much. He was in a home for a long time towards the end and would keep paying for upkeep and gardening and eveything. He loves that house and I guess part of me is frustrated because I don't know how they can sell it so easily when it holds so many memories.

I am the type of person that gets super frustrated when people aren't how I am, to my detriment sometimes which kind of leads me on to wonder why they have said nothing



I will monitor this thread this afternoon so if there is anything you are curious about just ask as I'm not sure I covered all the queries.

But what would you have them do with the house if not sell it - were you expecting that they were going to live in it together, including you if you'd been left a share as well?

scd3scd4

One of the benefits of being an only child I suppose.

moneyistooshorttomention

Then it does rather look as if there isnt a logical reason why he has made out such an unfair Will - ie with you all being children of both the same parents.

I guess all you can do then is to accept that, obviously, the house has to be sold to pay out the inheritance money all round. Then ask your sisters if they will agree to pool the inheritance and share it out fairly - at 25% shares each.

If they don't agree - then I guess there isn't much you can do - except break contact with the sisters. Followed by you would probably find it less hurtful/constant reminder of what happened if you dispose of any reminders you have of your father (as he's the one at root of this unfairness) and ensure you arent confronted regularly with reminders about him - so you don't "get your nose rubbed in it" at intervals. There's no point in just running it round and round in your head as to the question on why he's done this - many people arent logical and many people arent fair and you can ask yourself till Kingdom Come why he's turned out to be one of them - and you'll probably be no nearer the answer.

Followed by getting on with your life.

Barny1979

You need to accept and move on, or you will be eaten up by bitterness and jealousy.

Cheeky_Monkey

I think it's worth keeping in mind that we're only getting one side of the story - from the OP's perspective.

No-one here knows the history between father and son. For all any of us know, the father might have had perfectly good reasons for reducing his son's inheritance and I see no reason why his sister's should reduce their share to give him more.

If the father had wanted his Estate to be shared equally between all four of them, his Will would've stated that, but it didn't.

Robisere

This thread reminds me of my mum's will. I was one of 3 brothers, younger by almost a generation than the other two. Senior bro I loved all his life and still miss, decades after his untimely death. Middle bro I have never got on with, still don't now. For years I tried to get on with him, until last year he said something so typically nasty that I just gave up.

My parents died within a few months of each other, but mum made a will and left it with a solicitor she knew, with instructions that I was to inform the solicitor immediately if she passed, which I did. Turned out that the few thousand pounds she left, and the rented flat contents, were all left to me alone. I knew what would happen next, so I informed my brother of the will contents and told him to call back when he calmed down: I would not talk to him if he did not speak to me properly. Eventually my lovely SIL got him to speak to me. I told him that I would split the small amount of money between us, 50/50, but I would control the contents.

This is what happened, but I asked him to tell me if there was anything he particularly wanted. He mentioned several things and a certain chair. I said, just the chair, nothing else. That is what happened, but amongst all this, I knew that he had received a large sum of money from his job on redundacy: in excess of £50,000. He already owned his own house, which he left for a Council Sheltered Home, having sold his house for a very good profit. I had very little, most of what I had was left with a previous relationship and I was starting again with my wife of today, 30+ years later we are still together. But we had to work and scrape for what we have now.

I don't envy his money and I don't regret going against mum's will to split the money. I have had a much happier life since then: most of his kids, all grandparents now, don't talk to him, he is such a bad tempered man, always has been. I have a smashing, loving family and I bask in their love.

So I say OP: accept the situation as it turns out. Stewing the situation over in your head and holding the terms of the will against your sisters, will hurt you more than them. Be happy for them and let them know you are happy for them. That may not help to get a slice of their inheritance, but it will not eat away at your opinion of them, and damage their opinion of you. If anything about your dad's death has taught you anything, it should be that life is too short.