So surprised to be written out of my fathers will

Serendipitious

mattpaint wrote: »

Have you considered that the house was left to your sisters because it was their home? And bought by their mother and father? Perhaps their mother insisted that her money wouldn't go to you? Which is fair enough. You seem to be expecting your sisters to give you their money and that's outrageous. Be grateful for the £10,000.

I wondered about this:

Assuming there are two different mothers, the mother of the girls and the mother of the boy, then it is possible that most of the money for the original house purchase came from the girls' mother, with an expectation that the property would be left to any children they had together.

It's also possible that the £10,000 represents money that the father could have been saving up quietly for his son all this time.

We don't have the information, so I'm only speculating, but it would throw a completely different light on things.

I'd be grateful for £10k regardless.

Oakie

mattpaint wrote: »

Have you considered that the house was left to your sisters because it was their home? And bought by their mother and father? Perhaps their mother insisted that her money wouldn't go to you? Which is fair enough. You seem to be expecting your sisters to give you their money and that's outrageous. Be grateful for the £10,000.

Another one who thought this.
OP be happy you was thought of and included in the will.
Don't ruin your relationship with your sisters over money.

Serendipitious

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

I get your point hazyjo re the time.

I guess maybe it's not "personal" that she says about not driving at night? Unless she'll drive at night for her grandchildren - but not for you that is...

At my age I'm seeing a noticeable number of women saying they don't want to drive/won't drive at night - but I can't think of a single man that says that. Very sexist!!! But a lot of women in my generation (ie baby boomer) do seem to feel they can say that - even though they've probably never heard a man saying it either....:cool: Hopefully millenial generation women won't use their sex as an excuse not to...

It's not sexist to express a preference.

I don't particularly enjoy driving in the dark, but I just have to get on with it as there's no-one else to do it for me.

But I can see why many would prefer not to. Too many lights can be distracting, and it's not much fun if the car breaks down on a cold dark winter night when you're older and travelling alone.

cyantist

mrcjevans wrote: »

I think I agree with this summary, it hurts because as far as I knew he thought of us all the same. He saw us all the same amount though he saw my sisters slightly earlier due to them being older, he would show off to people saying that's my boy and complain to me about the girls but who knows what he really thought.

I guess I can't understand how as a man you can sit down when you think about the end and think about the people you should be looking out for and treat anyone differently. It is so easy to read what I wrote and assume differently though.

Reading this part suggests the house wasn't the one the girls grew up in, and that he didn't actually have a relationship with any of the children until they were older.

So for everyone suggesting it's possibly because it was their house, or their mothers money as well etc, I don't think that's the case. But maybe the op can confirm that

phoebe1989seb

My parents chose to leave their house to DS, their only grandchild. I was left their household effects, my mum's jewellery etc.

DH and I weren't bothered as my parents had helped us onto the property ladder. However, they were never particularly keen on DH - they wanted me to marry someone else that turned out to be a bolter (he remained their 'golden boy' even though he got engaged numerous times, ditching them all at the eleventh hour - including me) - and kept lists of every penny they had spent on us in little gifts etc over the years, so we did feel that this was behind their decision.

They also paid for DS to be privately educated from the age of 4 to 18 - something they hadn't done for me, despite being able to afford it.

So in theory DS was going to do ok......

As it turned out, they both spent their final years in a nursing home with Dementia and their house had to be sold to pay the fees. In the end DS did inherit, but not as much as he could have done. Sadly he rarely found time to visit them. Despite living considerably closer than we did, he managed two visits per year whereas we were there once a week.

I was also disinherited by a childless, bachelor uncle who had originally named me as his sole beneficiary. That house also went to DS, although he - then aged 19 - generously gave a third of the sale proceeds to me. I was told he'd decided that as I owned one house I didn't need another. Fair enough!

On the subject of offspring from previous relationships etc, DH has a DD from a brief and very early marriage that had ended before we met. He hasn't seen her since she was four (she's now in her early thirties) and she was brought up by her stepdad as his own child after her mum refused to allow DH access.

DH and I have decided that we won't be leaving anything to her. She's never been part of our family and considers her stepdad to be her real father. She is likely to inherit a considerable sum from her mum's family, so will be well provided for. Probably not a popular decision with posters here, but it wasn't made lightly. I have a feeling that if anything is left when we die, DS will share his inheritance with her anyway. That's his prerogative......

Pollycat

phoebe1989seb wrote: »

.

DH and I have decided that we won't be leaving anything to her. She's never been part of our family and considers her stepdad to be her real father. She is likely to inherit a considerable sum from her mum's family, so will be well provided for. Probably not a popular decision with posters here, but it wasn't made lightly. I have a feeling that if anything is left when we die, DS will share his inheritance with her anyway. That's his prerogative......

The way I see it, it's your money and your assets to leave to whoever you choose to.
I don't know much about wills but from what I've read over on the Death, probate and wills board, it might be an idea to take advice on the wording of your wills to ensure this daughter can't come along and contest the will.

On the subject of probate, the OP has not mentioned how far along the process they are.

Marvel1

This is what really annoys me when parents die, their children expect money! It's about all greed, respect his wishes and so should the sisters.

moneyistooshorttomention

With some people it "might" be greed. But I suspect with those that lose out due to unfairness - that, more often than not, it's the level of fairness (or otherwise) that is the major upsetting factor.

It spells out a message loud and clear that "They matter more to me than you do" and it will often be for a reason that's nothing to do with the person concerned themselves - but they happen to be the "wrong" sex or the childless one or something else that is "non-personal" basically.

Though I think we all know these days that there's a very good chance the State will grab much of it anyway and that outside factor will even out any unfairness. So anyone with any sense doesnt rely on any arrangements that have been made and probably sees the plus side of there being "darn all left" - as at least Golden Child cant profit much from being Golden Child. Also it makes sense - as well as being the "decent thing to do" to tell the person/people with the Will to "spend whatever you want on yourself/its your money anyway/spend the lot if you decide to".

mrcjevans

Wow so many responses, I will try and respond to as much as I can but I? am not the best written individual haha!

My first thought was that it's because when I was younger I was mentally ill, got attacked twice in the space of a month(he didn't know this) any way it put me in a situation where I was doing 'nothing', anyway one day I threw the drugs away and went back to work, this was about 6 years ago. The only thing I can think of is that maybe he thought I was a lazy bum and not worthy back then and this is the only thing being honest that I am can think of.

Me and my three sisters are all from the same mum and dad. Me and two have them have always been close with the third being a bit more hostile towards everyone.

I have not had the best upbringing but I have indeed come through it and am super strong now. As someone pointed out I had some financial issues previously - again when I was young and made a few mistakes on a credit card and a phone bill which originated from when I first got attacked and not from my being lazy. However it has all been cleared and I worked bloody hard to turn my life around. I am very much an open book and have absolutely nothing to hide. Hard work rewarded me though and me and my now wife got a house this year.

I suppose my sister didn't think about it at the time but I have just had to have my wedding and funeral wondering what had I ever done for him to see us so differently.

I won't challenge, I won't speak to my sisters about it. I am just venting on here really because I wouldn't literally do both of those things.

It was my dads house only - me and the three girls were bought up by our mum and step father in her house.

I know I will see them differently if they don't say something to me but please do not assume that this whole scenario is just about money.

I think I will ask for a Larke & Nugus statement from the firm.

mattpaint wrote: »

Have you considered that the house was left to your sisters because it was their home? And bought by their mother and father? Perhaps their mother insisted that her money wouldn't go to you? Which is fair enough. You seem to be expecting your sisters to give you their money and that's outrageous. Be grateful for the £10,000.

It wasn't their home, my dad would never sell his house and I can't believe they are selling it. It was his mothers house that he inherited from her and he loved it so much. He was in a home for a long time towards the end and would keep paying for upkeep and gardening and eveything. He loves that house and I guess part of me is frustrated because I don't know how they can sell it so easily when it holds so many memories.

I am the type of person that gets super frustrated when people aren't how I am, to my detriment sometimes which kind of leads me on to wonder why they have said nothing

Pollycat wrote: »

I think the major beneficiaries (the OP's 3 sisters) are already considering the relationship:

I will monitor this thread this afternoon so if there is anything you are curious about just ask as I'm not sure I covered all the queries.

Red-Squirrel_2

mrcjevans wrote: »

It wasn't their home, my dad would never sell his house and I can't believe they are selling it. It was his mothers house that he inherited from her and he loved it so much.

If they've been left equal shares of the house, they don't really have a lot of choice but to sell it in order to make that happen. Please don't let that get to you. Its a very normal thing to do when a house is passed down to more than one person.