I'm in love with a 25yo man and I have a problem

suejb2

The gender of your interest is immaterial. So is the mentor and age bit. You are having feelings for someone other than your wife. Be fair to her, just because your actions haven't been reciprocal , you're still putting an effort in to be unfaithful.

Slopemark

Thank you for all of your comments which are sobering and thought provoking. They have helped me see things much more clearly.
I should say that I am not some sort of creepy predator. I have realised my situation and I have asked for help before I have got to that stage. that is responsible approach. Where I said that I had dropped hints, I should perhaps have phrased that as "given him every opportunity to express his feelings", but he had never taken those. I need to 'man up' to the truth and stop being in denial.
I will not be losing contact with him, but perhaps see him less than before. Today I have felt a lot better about things and whilst I know it will be a long road, that is encouraging.
I am encouraged by one comment that said that if in the unlikely situation that he did reciprocate feelings but was too shy to say, then given time it will work out! But I am not holding my breath.
I am not an evil person, just someone who has come of the rails and it's looking for help to climb back on! Maybe is all a mid life crisis.

hollydays

You can’t deny your true self, so good luck with sorting out your feelings.

117pauline

Slopemark wrote: »

Today I have felt a lot better about things and whilst I know it will be a long road, that is encouraging.
I am encouraged by one comment that said that if in the unlikely situation that he did reciprocate feelings but was too shy to say, then given time it will work out! But I am not holding my breath.
.

Let's get this straight. You asked for advice and you are encouraged by the ONE comment giving you hope?

You appear to be in denial just how detrimental this could be for the other person and your wife. You are twice his age, in a position of trust and are old enough to be his father. You have been married for 25 years and your children must be of a similar age.

If you were observing this situation wouldn't you be appalled?

I suggest you seek professional advice to help you.

suejb2

[QUOTE
I am encouraged by one comment that said that if in the unlikely situation that he did reciprocate feelings but was too shy to say, then given time it will work out! But I am not holding my breath.
I[/QUOTE]

So if he reciprocates you'll be happy and give it a go? In the meantime your wife , oblivious to this carries on regardless. Maybe you should hold your breath......it may prompt some sense in you. I think you may not be evil but the things you are wanting aren't that saintly.

Gloomendoom

This is one of those threads where I would like to comment but can't because I know it would get me an instant PPR.

moneyistooshorttomention

...I'm feeling sorry for the young man concerned....and I could put it a lot more strongly than that.

happyandcontented

Op would you be happy if your son was in this position with someone he trusted to help him?

Whatever the feelings on your side you must walk away from future involvement with this young man. You haven't said if this was a paid or voluntary arrangement, but in either case when you realised how you felt you should have taken steps to remove yourself from temptation. This is an inappropriate relationship. whether you act on it or not.

If you are gay/bi then you need to address that as a separate issue.

Newlifer17

In my opinion, age doesn't come into it-so all those saying stay away because he's too young you are wrong! People can fall in love with who their heart wants age, sex, culture etc
The worse thing that I see is you are married and your wife is totally oblivious to your feelings for other men, surely you should be opening up to her, and possibly leaving her to pursue a new life as a gay/bi man? Not this young man though- I don't think its appropriate- if he was interested surely he would have said something by now? Also you are working with him, and he sounds vulnerable, not right in my eyes.

svain

what is wrong with people .... The younger guy is 25 not 15. Its not predatory and its not inappropriate for the older guy to gave feelings towards him. If they were to get together there should be zero implications in this respect.