“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

beanielou

& I am a mum to an adult DS & would never make a judgement on his circumstances.
I have cerebral palsy & certainly over the years people have made a judgement on mine.

Sun_Addict

Certainly a lot of food for thought there Wannabe. Your mum shouldn't judge you if you end up on benefits because you decide to look after a child who needs extra care and neither should anyone else.

Could you make a list of pros and cons to help you decide?

HairyHandofDartmoor

A list of pros and cons is an excellent idea I think. Things often become much clearer when you write them down.

UncannyScot

Morning Wannabe

Have a lovely day missus

always here if you need to chew my ear
(((((HUGS)))))
:A

WannabeFree

Thank you for all your replies.

The pros and cons list .. giving up work has a lot more pros than cons. The main 'con' is not having a job and feeling like others will look down on me because I don't? I think. I know what I mean

I'm still not sure. Have a meeting tomorrow to speak to managers but just don't know what to do. I don't want to make out I can't cope and basically be pushed out.

x

WannabeFree

Morning,

Another pretty quiet day, the weather is awful! We've been and got the electric because it went off opps! That'll teach me!

Spag bol for dinner tonight, need to make them garlic bread and will put some bits of salad with it.

Have a good day all x

Cherryfudge

Would your managers consider you having a relief contract, or would that mess up benefits?

[Deleted User]

WannabeFree wrote: »

The main 'con' is not having a job and feeling like others will look down on me because I don't? I think. I know what I mean

Totally know where you are coming from, but it's something only you can decide on.

Let people think what they want, you wouldn't be not working because you want to, you'd be not working because you need to. It is difficult when you have small kiddies.

EssexHebridean

Finally caught up - that was a lot to read! Glad to hear Christmas was wonderful and sorry to hear that Youngest was so poorly through some of it.

On the work front and your Mum's reaction to things - her reaction is her problem and NOT yours. You have to do what is right for you & your own immediate family whether or not that "suits" her and her illusions of the way you should be doing things. If she starts creating at you can you simply say "OK, you're entitled to your opinion..." and not say anything more? That rather leaves her with nowhere to go perhaps? One thing I will say though - it seemed to me that you were really enjoying the job - so that must be taken into account as your mental health is just as important as anything else in the picture. It is after all getting you out and about and mixing with folk, and that's usually a good thing. Something I try to remind myself from time to time though - other people's reactions to things are not anything I can control, my reaction to their reactions, however, I can!

As for others looking down on you - do the sort of people who would jump to those sort of conclusions really matter? I'd suggest not - them as matter, don't mind, and them as mind, don't matter, would be my view!

WannabeFree

I've no idea Cherry. I do know though if I stepped out they'd be happy to let me step back in again when things where settled.

Thank you EH Hope you had a lovely time away.

I think on the MH side of things I would still have loads to do and things I have to go out now because there isn't anyone else who can 'step in'
On the other hand I think feeling like I was a failure of some kind if that makes sense? Like I'd be letting people down by not working, not showing the kids you need to work etc.

Something does have to happen to make things better though. It can't continue how it is now. This months pay doesn't even cover 4 weeks rent So I know I have to 'suck it up' and sort something.