“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

Toni'sfriend

Hello, W. You're in a difficult position here but I honestly don't think that anyone could accuse you of letting anyone down and you are definitely not a failure. Would it be an option to give up work for the time being and consider it again once the wee one is a bit older and you can see how her health is progressing. xxx

dizzybee

hi, hidden , i have never posted on your diary before but have been following you and have finally caught up after finding you again, you are doing so well, sorry your youngest is porly, i can relate to you on working or not when your child is ill, my youngest has Downs and when she was a lot younger [ she's 25 now] she was always in and out of hospital i was also working with no support from family have you spoken to social services about help with some support, our local social services arranged for me to have a side by side career who was on hand to look after my daughter when i needed to work and she was ill,i had to pay but it was a lot less than a child minder and they found someone that lived close by and matched mine and my daughters needs, we used the service for five years but am still in contact with the lady that was there in times of need, i wish you and your family the best of luck,
And don't forget that if you do need to give up work to care for your little one no one will judge you after all us mums always put the needs of our children first, xxx

Cherryfudge

WannabeFree wrote: »

I do know though if I stepped out they'd be happy to let me step back in again when things where settled.

That's a big tribute to you! Whatever decision you make, remember they value you and your work.

I don't know if you are working for a Local Authority but if you are, relief work is well worth looking into - it may mean you can keep continuity of service which is worth money . The same may apply to other employers too.

Chrystal

To be honest Wannabee I think looking after your littlest IS a full time job! That's why she has been awarded DLA - because she needs extra help. It's not the same as deciding that you don't WANT to work, it's a case of the situation at the moment means you CAN'T go out to work when there is no one available who is able to step in for you.

Things hopefully will improve in the future with regards to her health, but at the moment, in my opinion, she needs you to be there for her, as and when she needs you to be.
As for people 'judging' you, anyone with half a brain will realise that a child with the kind of problems your littlest has can't be left to God and providence while you go out to work! Plus the stress this must be putting on you trying to make arrangements for her to be seen to while you go can't be helping your MH.
Mavbe you can try and interact with people on the days that she's able to go to school.
I really hope that you can sort this out without feeling guilty about a situation that is beyond your contol and realise that you are doing an absolutely fantastic job of bringing up your little ones in a loving happy home. :A XX

Toni'sfriend

Couldn't agree more, Crystal.

WannabeFree

Thank you for all the replies and help.

I have to make a decision before the meeting tomorrow. Right now I think it'll probably be to take 12 months out and look at where youngest is then. In 12 months time she should have started full time school and be settled to some sort of routine and we will have more funding for help at school and things as it won't be a choice anymore. She will need some education be that in mainstream or not.

I haven't spoke to Mum or anyone else really about it. I'm sure it won't take long for them to find out though

I still need to make garlic bread and make a salad up to go with dinner. ExOH had an accident at work today :cool: High winds caused an incident. He seems to be okay I think. Well okay enough to text. He will call in later and no doubt mop up the leftovers.

I'm so bored of making the same food I can't wait until it gets warmer and we can get back on the 'lighter' things.

Anyway I must get up and sort their dinner. Be back with another list later

UncannyScot

You're doing what any good parent would do and that is putting the needs of your child first.
(((((HUGS)))))
:A

Toni'sfriend

That seems like a sensible decision and do not worry about what anyone else thinks. What is best for you and the wee ones is all that matters.
I think your food always sounds lovely and your children are really lucky to have someone who cooks such nice things. I was brought up on my Granny's soup every day. I like to cook as well (very therapeutic). Everything I do is very simple - I just experiment a bit with whatever is cheap in Aldi or Lidl.
Hope it all works out. xxx

WannabeFree

Smalls in the bath so 5 minutes to myself to drink a hot cuppa why I supervise :rotfl:

I have loads of little bits of jobs I want to get done, not working will give me time to fit these in - I must not waste my time doing nothing

I still have bits of decorating in the finished rooms that need going over. There's quite a few things that need doing but will 'cost' ie blinds etc so this bit will be slower.

I want to get back into listing on eBay, I have some outgrown things of the smalls along with things that are too big for me. Funds from these will replace with better fitting things.

I'm sure once the older two are back at school Monday I will find a better routine of fitting everything in.

I need more sleep. Less than 3-4 hours a night is catching up a bit now and I can see this impacts how I feel a lot!

I want to plan in activities with smalls. Not quite as much as an activity a day like December but at least a couple of times a week.

I need to give notice to school wrap around if I give up work. This will save a fortune.

Toni'sfriend

You will never waste your time doing nothing - it's just not in your nature.
Make sure you take care of yourself and get some proper sleep. Easier said than done, I know, xx