Parents want to meet boyfriend

bluebear36

trailingspouse wrote: »

Comms69 - Tabbytabitha has an endearing habit of thinking that everyone should run their lives the same way she runs hers.

I had the same thought process as you - by the age of 26 I'd been married for 7 years and had two kids!

Most people nowadays would think that 19 was a ridiculously young age to be married, especially considering the amount of young people that go into higher education.

At 26, whilst I had bought my own flat, I was enjoying the single life and the thought of being tied down by marriage & kids sounded like hell.

onomatopoeia99

Kirstie_ wrote: »

I get what you are saying but I have to live with her wihinging and complaining. It really isn't worth it

Time to move out, whether to his or your own place (I would suggest the latter, so as not to put pressure on your relationship with your boyfriend).

You won't hear the end of this until you fly the nest or have a stand up screaming row with your mother and tell her it's time she learned to mind her own business.

trailingspouse

Yes, it was a ridiculously young age - but I was agreeing with Comms69 that by the age of 26 we very definitely saw ourselves as grown up.

And don't fret, I still got a degree.

Tabbytabitha

trailingspouse wrote: »

Comms69 - Tabbytabitha has an endearing habit of thinking that everyone should run their lives the same way she runs hers.

I had the same thought process as you - by the age of 26 I'd been married for 7 years and had two kids!

I don't think getting your girlfriend pregnant is something most people would boast about, do you? Certainly not in the years with contraception so readily available.

Kirstie_

KxMx wrote: »

OP I can 100% relate. I'm 30, still at home due to health reasons and have a very nosy mother who can sulk if she doesn't get her way.

I do know though in the long run putting up with that behaviour is not going to make you happy.

I put up with my Mother's behaviour for a quiet life, until I realised how very unhappy I had become.

So you need to either start making a stand or look into moving out.

One thing I found out was the moans/sulks/hurt feelings were temporary and no lasting damage was done. The end result was less intrusion into my life so totally worth it!

Thank you. I cannot simply afford to move out, Even though I have a "Proper job" I don't have much in terms of savings, My boyfriend says I can have his spare room so I've got my own space if I wanted.

amistupid wrote: »

If you are 26 years old and still live with your parents, I can, to a degree, see why they still treat you like a child.

I can't afford to move out.

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Time to move out, whether to his or your own place (I would suggest the latter, so as not to put pressure on your relationship with your boyfriend).

You won't hear the end of this until you fly the nest or have a stand up screaming row with your mother and tell her it's time she learned to mind her own business.

My boyfriend says the same and he said I can have the spare room rent free so I can build some savings up.

chesky

Are you planning to move in as your boyfriend's lodger?

barbiedoll

Comms69 wrote: »

Is this what 26 year olds are like nowadays?


I'd been living solo for 8 years and had a pregnant GF at that age.

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

I don't think getting your girlfriend pregnant is something most people would boast about, do you? Certainly not in the years with contraception so readily available.

Don’t be so rude! He and his GF may have been trying for a baby for several years, nowhere does he say that it wasn’t a planned pregnancy. Although even if it wasn’t, it’s no business of yours.

OP, sorry for derailing your thread! But just wanted to say that it’s not your mum’s job to decide who is a suitable partner for you (and I speak as a mum) so don’t let her make you feel uncomfortable about your relationship. She sounds like she would disapprove of anyone anyway, so you’re probably not going to win this battle until you learn to stand up for yourself. And get your dad onside for a bit of moral support, I’m sure he sees that she can be unreasonable.

Watching a child go through serious (and even not-so-serious) illness, is a horrifying thing and and I can understand why your mum is still a little over-protective wth you. But that’s got nothing to do with your choice of boyfriend, so don’t let her use this as an excuse.

Kirstie_

chesky wrote: »

Are you planning to move in as your boyfriend's lodger?

It certainly is an option, but I'd rather move in as his girlfriend when we both feel we are ready. I understand his offer and appreciate it greatly.

I don't want to impose on my boyfriend being his lodger

chesky

Kirstie, you never want to impose or upset people.
You seem to lack confidence in your own judgement.
Time for a bit of assertiveness training. There are some good classes around.
You can disagree with me if you want.

chesky

Might be an idea if you can watch 'the boy with the topknot' BBC last night if you think your mother's a problem.