Hen Night Problem.

Mojisola

The problem nowadays is that there will be pictures up on sharing sites without hours (if not during the night out) - and no-one knows who will see pictures of you in a situation that you would never choose to be in, now and in the future.

Pick the right photo and it can look as if you're having a great time even if you're hating every moment.

Bennifred1

The organiser sounds deeply unpleasant, I must say!

jackieblack

happyandcontented wrote: »

Yes, she was the bride!

Good for her! (And shame on whoever organised it!)

NeilCr

jackieblack wrote: »

There's a difference between something being just not what you might choose to do and being something that makes you feel very awkward/embarrassed/miserable.

There Is. And awkward/embarrassed/ miserable is how I feel about being around kids. :rotfl::rotfl:

In the end, though, I think this is about the other person (bride/birthday person etc). If it
is important to them that you are there then I believe you should make the effort and turn up with a smile hiding a grimace. If it’s more that you are one of a biggish crowd then that’s different

After that it’s a matter of degrees and you as a person. We’ll roll up to pretty much anything (like the venue/whatever or not) and concentrate on enjoying ourselves. For others I get that they would take a different option

happyandcontented

jackieblack wrote: »

Good for her! (And shame on whoever organised it!)

It was one of those nights which started out well, following the agreed plan for the evening, but eventually, it ended up going into areas she was uncomfortable with like the OP mentioned in her post. Additionally, she is not really a drinker but many of her friends and (one of her sisters) are, so as the night went on I believe they got more raucous. My niece is a teacher and couldn't risk any photos that might have shown her in a bad light popping up friends pages on social media.

Gloomendoom

I once turned down an invitation to a stag do because it involved an evening in a strip club. Just not my cup of tea.

westy23

I’ll go.
When is it? 😃

maman

Surely it this person has the nous to say 'no it's not my cup of tea' then she also has the confidence to ignore the organiser's 'suck it up' remarks.

bearcat16 wrote: »

Someone I know was invited to a hen party which involved male strippers. Her husband said it was ok for her to go, just a bit of fun etc, but she refused out of respect for him.

Anyway, when the bride found out about the strippers, mainly from a load of her friends telling her they couldn’t come (supposed to be a surprise) she went ape at the organiser, and cancelled everything and arranged her hen party herself.

She apologised to guests and didn’t understand how the organiser (a single girl) could be so selfish and immature not to understand other people’s situations and sensitivities.

This jumped out at me. Do people generally ask permission to go somewhere from their husband?

Malthusian

maman wrote: »

This jumped out at me. Do people generally ask permission to go somewhere from their husband?

Not in this country, and there's no indication that bearcat's friend did.

"Darling, I've been invited to a hen party with male strippers." "Well that sounds like a good laugh to me." "I wouldn't be comfortable ogling naked men, so I'm not going to go." "Well it's your choice, as long as you're not refusing just for my sake."

That's probably how it went and at no point has anyone "asked for permission".

Fireflyaway

I wouldn't go either. Its not as though she is being rude, trying to avoid someone or just being stubborn because she doesn't enjoy the type of music or food. I'd just politely decline and if the others are proper friends they will respect the decision. Some people strongly disagree with nudity, sexual stuff etc for religious or moral reasons. It doesn't make them kill joys.