Hen Night Problem.

NeilCr

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

Nobody should be forced, and I don't really enjoy this stuff either, but for a good friend's significant don't you sometimes go along to things that you wouldn't necessarily choose yourself?

I went to the races for a friend's hen do, even though I hate it and would never choose to. I went for her, not for the entertainment.

This came up in an earlier thread (friends 50th birthday) and there were two significant camps. I’d go for my friend/relative as would others - the opposite view was along the lines of “why should I go if it’s something I don’t like/isn’t good value for money”.

In this situation I can see if it’s overtly sexual and someone is very uncomfortable with that then it may be better for that person not to go if the do is for a friend/acquaintance. But, if it was a close relative/friend who would be disappointed if they weren’t there then maybe you should try and find a way of grinning and bearing it

I guess, with these things, my first thought is always yes I want to go. Others start from a different position

But, certainly, no-one should be forced to go

Pollycat

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

That's a really subjective thing though, it could mean anything from G strings and topless women to just tight skimpy outfits that still offend the friend's sensibilities.

As the OP says 'dressed practically naked' - and they are probably the only person on this thread right now who knows the most about this place - I'll defer to them on what that means rather than trying to second guess what the dress code is.
Until confirmed otherwise.

NeilCr

Mojisola wrote: »

But the bride hasn't got the advance knowledge to say whether she thinks the plans are to her taste or not.

It would take a very strong-willed person to walk out of her own hen party even if she was embarrassed by it all.

Sorry, a bit confused (not difficult!). I was talking about the OP’s relative not being forced to go

On all the hen/stag parties I’ve known about/been on the organiser has been someone who had a very good idea of what the bride/groom would like or not like. No idea if that Is the case here

happyandcontented

Mojisola wrote: »

But the bride hasn't got the advance knowledge to say whether she thinks the plans are to her taste or not.

It would take a very strong-willed person to walk out of her own hen party even if she was embarrassed by it all.

One of my nieces did exactly that. We had a family Hen do which was a spa day/meal and then one of her friends organised a night out which was just for their age group. It wasn't to her taste, so she made her excuses and left in a taxi!!

chesky

NeilCr wrote: »

And to be fair she isn’t being being forced to go. The organiser is being a pain in the butt but all the relative has to say is no if she doesn’t want to be there.

You and I might agree she's not being forced to go, however, for some people it might seem that way if they're confronted by a really stroppy organiser.

NeilCr

chesky wrote: »

You and I might agree she's not being forced to go, however, for some people it might seem that way if they're confronted by a really stroppy organiser.

I do get that.

But that’s completely on her then. To be honest the problem as set out in the OP is very straightforward despite all the toing and froing (guilty as charged :)) on this thread. If she doesn’t want to go (for whatever reason) she has to say so.

ETA. I’ve just reread back through the thread and see that she has said she isn’t going. I missed that first time round. Good for her for standing up to an unpleasant organiser. She just has to stick to her guns now

NeilCr

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

I went to the races for a friend's hen do, even though I hate it and would never choose to. I went for her, not for the entertainment.

I’ve got a worse one than that. It’s an old friends 50th early next year and we have been invited. I haven’t seen her for ages (we used to work together, different parts of the country etc etc). We were due to meet at another do last year but I was struck down by sciatica on the day

Anyways the invitation says “children welcome” . That’s my ultimate nightmare - surrounded by kids!. But, we’ll be going. Chance to meet up again and maybe see a few old work colleagues.
There’s usually a positive to be found in most things we do. And we’ll go with the attitude we are going to have a good time

jackieblack

There's a difference between something being just not what you might choose to do and being something that makes you feel very awkward/embarrassed/miserable.

jackieblack

happyandcontented wrote: »

One of my nieces did exactly that. We had a family Hen do which was a spa day/meal and then one of her friends organised a night out which was just for their age group. It wasn't to her taste, so she made her excuses and left in a taxi!!

Was your niece the bride?

happyandcontented

jackieblack wrote: »

Was your niece the bride?

Yes, she was the bride!