Hen Night Problem.

clairec79

I do think the organiser should back off

HOWEVER if the relative said she would go and the organiser has paid a deposit for relatives place then I think the relative does need to pay the deposit.

In the future before committing to going to a hen party you do need to check where it actually is going to be, if that will affect whether or not you will go

Editted to add if the place had changed since the agreement was made then the organiser needs to suck up any financial loss (however if a place was never mentioned then it's on the relative)

pollypenny

It sounds vile! I've never heard anything so tacky and I can imagine the place with a good proportion of the guest just pretending to enjoy themselves.

I'm another one wondering what the bride would think.

Mojisola

Dasa wrote: »

The bride has no idea what is actually being organised

The whole thing sounds awful to me. A you know what shaped cake that squirts cream, you know what shaped everything including straws to drink with. Each to their own I suppose but it shouldn't be forced on someone.

There will be lots of pressure on the bride to do stuff she may not be comfortable with and lots of photos of her doing it - sounds like a horrible evening unless everyone going is truly up for that kind of 'fun'.

bearcat16

Someone I know was invited to a hen party which involved male strippers. Her husband said it was ok for her to go, just a bit of fun etc, but she refused out of respect for him.

Anyway, when the bride found out about the strippers, mainly from a load of her friends telling her they couldn’t come (supposed to be a surprise) she went ape at the organiser, and cancelled everything and arranged her hen party herself.

She apologised to guests and didn’t understand how the organiser (a single girl) could be so selfish and immature not to understand other people’s situations and sensitivities.

lika_86

I would keep an open mind. Burlesque isn't a sordid sex show, it's often more cheeky and funny than anything else. All the other stuff, penis straws etc is stuff that the organiser has presumably put together and that the relative doesn't have to partake in, just politely refuse to take a straw etc.

System

Burlesque can be done tastefully. I've been to my local one which has a professional ballerina even in it.

Will the bride like it? Are they even close?
IMO its for the bride, if one of my relatives or friends was doing something I hated for their hen or whatever I'd still go anyway because it's for them and it's their day.

System

af273 wrote: »

Burlesque can be done tastefully.

It can, but the description offered in the OP sounds more like a t*tty bar than a classy Burlesque show.

the meal and show is at a burlesque type place where the staff are dressed practically naked and the whole theme is very sexual.

NeilCr

af273 wrote: »

Burlesque can be done tastefully. I've been to my local one which has a professional ballerina even in it.

Will the bride like it? Are they even close?
IMO its for the bride, if one of my relatives or friends was doing something I hated for their hen or whatever I'd still go anyway because it's for them and it's their day.

Yes. Agree.

We went to a burlesque show and it was brilliant. A bit saucy but nothing more. Nothing like a strip club etc. We went as a mixed group (one couple are in their late 70s) and everyone enjoyed it

I’d go (if it was a stag do, obviously!) to something I wasn’t keen on for the sake of the groom. - especially, if it was a close friend.

How close is the organiser to the bride? Is it likely she’d organise something that the bride didn’t like? That’s probably key. Will the bride think it’s a good idea

Whatever, there is no need for nastiness on the part of the organiser

NeilCr

avogadro wrote: »

It can, but the description offered in the OP sounds more like a t*tty bar than a classy Burlesque show.

True. But that can also be in the eye of the beholder. Maybe the OP could let us know which venue they are talking about?

System

NeilCr wrote: »

Maybe the OP could let us know which venue they are talking about?

Yea I'd be interested to know too... I'm sure there'd be youtube uploads from it...

If you've ever seen the Burlesque film with Christina Aquilera in it, the place i went to was something along those lines, not a 'titty show' in the slightest. More just dancing, acrobatics etc with comedy acts inbetween