The Edcawber Principle

edinburgher

Most proponents of eating local include food miles as one of their reasons for the preference. I had forgotten that you are our beloved MFW petrolhead and this is not a factor for you

Suspect DD has some idea where her food comes from as we are not a gloves on, squeamish chicken breast handling sort of family (more a break out the biggest knife and break down a whole chicken sort of bunch)!

The score remained the same despite paying off what I think was just under £900. In retrospect tho, that would be under 5% of the total, so probably just not that significant a drop. I'm sanguine about the concept of a "score" and I am above average, with balance transfer offers starting to become available for when we have to shift the remainder. It's a funny thing, our £170k mortgage barely registers these days, but less than £20k of CC debt does my head in!

Yesterday was glorious, although I am starting to think that I am reaching the limits of what I can accomplish on daddy daughter days. On a good day, we have a blast and you barely register the time passing. On a typical day, however, it feels like an 11 hour slog of constant demands, inability to be left alone and the feeling that you have a tiny human jailer who doesn't want you to have 5 minutes peace. I tried to explain to Mrs E, but she didn't take it very well (I didn't use the jailer analogy) Am I a bad human that I can struggle to spend a full wakeup to sleep with my daughter by myself? The amount of time we have spent together compares very favourably to most Dads, but I don't know for the life of me how SAH parents do it :think:

wishingthemortgaheaway

Ed, stay at home days can be really hard. Almost harder for a 'single day' single parent than those of us that do it more regularly.

What is the 'purpose' of your daddy daughter day? Is it to spend time with her, or is it to do life with her?

My hubby when he has a daddy & son day doesn't do life, they do out out out out out.
Up, breakfast, dressed, then off out on an adventure. NT place, wetlands, zoo, farm, museum. Hubby is not quite as mse as me, doesn't doesn't tend to think too much about the cost (although he doesn't spend loads, most of the above are free or we have annual passes)
They come home for tea time, Pickle will play while he preps tea (or 'helps') then it's tea, chill out time with some tv bath and bed.

Sometimes I do this with him, but often I have to do life, so it's up breakfast and out of the house tasks, shopping, errands etc. Home for lunch then it's nap time in his bed, I do house jobs inthis time, make sure tea is prepped. Between nap and tea time I do something with him. Sometimes it's a trip to the park, sometimes we stay home and play together. Then it's tea, chill out, bath and bed.

Days when I try and muddle up these two very different types of day are a bit of a disaster.

Don't know whether that's helpful or not, but yeah, parenting is hard work.

edinburgher

If I'm honest, I think part of the problem is that part of my reason for spending the day with her is financial (like all young families, we try to balance our budgets and avoid someone else looking after our child(ren) all the time). Perhaps this makes me view it as more of a drudge? Like all children, she has no idea of what we go through to provide the fun days, and she has expectations of constant novelty!

I can understand your hubby's preference. On the days we do fun stuff and blow the budget, it's great. On the days we do life and try to fit looking after DD around cooking, cleaning, trips to the Post Office (for example), it feels like a slog.

Every Dad wants to be "fun Dad"!

Suffolk_lass

You do better than I did when DS was Mis Ed's age. I used to panic at being left with him and almost count the moments until DH returned.

edinburgher

Thanks SL, I think it's one of those things where you can't help but feel "is it me"?

edinburgher

What a sunny day! We nearly passed 18kWh generated, that's unusual for Glasgow :rotfl:

beanielou

Have a great weekend.

Suffolk_lass

I consciously developed things with DS that he could do on his own as he got a bit older. As an only child, I knew he needed to be OK in his own company. That worked when he was a kid but he likes friends and rarely just enjoys being on his own in his twenties. There is no right way I suppose, just the way we do it, and the impact and counter-reactions to those choices.

My parents gave me freedoms, so I was strict, he has no discipline - even down to me counting socks and pants (my personal obsessions) and making him find the missing ones. Now his house has odd socks all over it as a direct pendulum swing the other way.

Frufru23

Really interesting reading the last few posts, I used to feel exactly the same when I was left alone with the boys when they were younger. They!!!8217;re 14 and 8 now, so much easier!

AlexLK

:rotfl: I care not for fuel consumption but like to eat good food. Also glad to hear your daughter has some sort of idea where her food comes from.

With regard to parenting, there can be some truly awful days and some truly wonderful ones but most sit somewhere in the middle. A child your daughter's age is demanding in my experience. I do wonder if you're searching for it to be something more than it could ever be, though? "Daddy daughter days", "fun Dad" etc. All seems like trying to put pressure on yourself, to be honest. I've not in the past seven and a half years viewed any day exclusively spent with my son as some kind of special "Daddy son day". Always tried to have fun with him but not with the intention of setting out to be a "fun Dad", either. Parents (male or female) put far too much pressure on themselves (me included) without always trying to make every single moment special.

As you are aware I am (unusually) the main parent in my son's life and those days when it felt like a drudge or his demands seemed like a constant barrage I learnt the most, not just about parenting but about myself which helped me to improve myself. Anyway, on a more cheerful note we had a lot of fun when my son was 3 without spending money: jumping in puddles, going on a bat hunt, walking by the river spotting trout, picnic in the back of my Land Rover, greenlaning, going for a drive, making things in the garage together, bird watching, going to churches to look at stained glass windows or listen to organ recitals (just be ready to leave when he's bored!), getting him involved in cooking or baking, making a den, listening to music, colouring, the list goes on and on and on and on...