My boyfriends SOA - Help needed here

black-saturn

Well I wasn't going to say anything about this as it will spark a lot of abuse against me but apparantly last night she asked her dad how much he was going to send her each week when she's at Uni !!!!

When he said he couldnt and she will have to get a job she went off in a sulk and stayed at her boyfriends all night.

LouBlue

black-saturn wrote: »

Well I wasn't going to say anything about this as it will spark a lot of abuse against me but apparantly last night she asked her dad how much he was going to send her each week when she's at Uni !!!!

When he said he couldnt and she will have to get a job she went off in a sulk and stayed at her boyfriends all night.

Well done to your OH for sticking to his guns. Gawd, she has a cheek but I suppose if she has always got her own way, she knows no different. So now is the time for her to realise she is most certainly of the age now where she has to start earning her own money. Well done!!! x

joey23

He could be entitled to working tax credit or something to bump his wages up. Check out the benefits website to see at https://www.entitled2.co.uk

oops_a_daisy

Hi Black Saturn :hello: of the meal planner fame I still make that cobbler from time to time - yummy

anyway just wanted to say that it seems that your OH is starting to stand up for himself with his DD - just hope he sticks to his guns

all the best xoopsx

tru

B-S, she sounds like a normal teenager to me

Master tru has been at work for over a year and although he knew about bills/budgeting etc. (I've been drumming it into him for ages) it's only just 'clicked' with him :rolleyes:

Although it would be nice for them to understand, they really don't - for the simple reason that they don't live alone. They live with parents/carers who do all the grown-up stuff

If I was giving a tenner a week to one of the trus, I would want to see where the EMA went. If it was being used up for their costs, bus fares etc. then fine, if they were wasting/saving it, then they wouldn't get any extra.

I have no idea what I'd do about the bridesmaid dress money - if it was anything else I'd say tough but it's your wedding day, you and mr B-S will want it to look perfect so she's got you there really

As for the laptop, I'd say a big fat NO

joey23

Ive just finished 3 years at uni and i got myself into debt in the first year, but worked my way through the next 2 years. I hate it when people say that you cant work through uni and get hands out from their parents, i did it way cant everyone else!

It did help me that i worked at CCCS for my last year so managed to get myself out of debt. And learnt some life lessons whilst there.

Her student loan will cover rent with plenty left over for her food. She will be able to get a part time job no problem to bump her income up. There is no reason she needs money from him.

Sorry for the rant!

Jacks_xxx

black-saturn wrote: »

Well I wasn't going to say anything about this as it will spark a lot of abuse against me but apparantly last night she asked her dad how much he was going to send her each week when she's at Uni !!!!

When he said he couldnt and she will have to get a job she went off in a sulk and stayed at her boyfriends all night.

:eek: Blimey honey.

If it's any consolation I think all teenagers are pretty selfish until they learn how to be otherwise, but also I know grown adults who still hold their hands out to daddy so here's hoping she won't be one of those!

It sounds like she's got it pretty much covered between her dad and her boyfriend - if she's leaving her EMA untouched then she's not paying for much of a social life is she?

I'm in the "They've gotta learn sometime" camp. For her own good as much as anything.

Flippin' eck hon.

Love Jacks xxx

RAS

black-saturn wrote: »

Well I wasn't going to say anything about this as it will spark a lot of abuse against me but apparantly last night she asked her dad how much he was going to send her each week when she's at Uni !!!!

When he said he couldnt and she will have to get a job she went off in a sulk and stayed at her boyfriends all night.

BS

Good that he told her the truth and good that she went off, shows that she is separating herself a bit from him.

The situation is

she will get a loan for her fees

She will get a state bursary towards her living costs - given OH's situation this will be the maximum.

because she is on the maximum state bursary, she will get the maximum university bursary - probably £1000 a year (for 30 weeks).

She can then borrow another smaller amount for maintenance loan.

If she still cannot get by on that, she can apply for hardship funds. If she play up the situation re OH remarrying, then she should get a fair bit and may get money towards rent in the holidays etc.

And of course she can earn upto £5000 tax-free and will pay no council tax. Most universities have job shops to help students find decent work. She should have £200+ a week before she heads for the hardship funds.

Universities do not like students working more than 15-20 hours a week in term time but that is normal. One student I interviewed for a part-time job last month said working helped her keep focussed and improved her time management, rather than her old habit of letting it all drift and not even getting her studies done.

What may make a difference is if you and OH could save a small amount so that in year 3 she does not have to work in her last term when all the assessments and exams are.

Also if you make it clear that she is always welcome!!!! to come and stay over the vacs, then she can choose to spend money on rent or not in the summer.

Sorry but at the moment, she is behaving like the child of very rich parents, not the child of some-one who is on the breadline.

dancingfairy

It's going to be hard and I understand he's probably trying to make things as good as posisble for his daughter but I think he needs to put his foot down - he's got to be cruel to be kind. Agree with the thing about letting her come home in the hols. If she works in the holidays she should be o.k. I think she will hate being responsible for paying her own way but she will appreciate it late on in life. Good Luck with it all.

Floss

RAS wrote: »

BS

She will get a state bursary towards her living costs - given OH's situation this will be the maximum. This will be based on HOUSEHOLD income for the current tax year - B-S & Mr B-S will be married then, so this may not be the maximum

because she is on the maximum state bursary, she will get the maximum university bursary - probably £1000 a year (for 30 weeks). see above - HOUSEHOLD income dependant.

She can then borrow another smaller amount for maintenance loan. she will have to borrow between 75% & 100% of the maximum available in order to pay accomodation costs & to eat

If she still cannot get by on that, she can apply for hardship funds. If she play up the situation re OH remarrying, then she should get a fair bit and may get money towards rent in the holidays etc. His remarriage doesn't apply - that will be on HER income, not the parents' situation - if it did apply, my 2 DS's would both be eligible despite DF's salary alone taking us over any threshold for any assistance. And anyway, all loan/grant payments are for 30-32 weeks only - students have to fend for themselves during holidays

And of course she can earn upto £5000 tax-free and will pay no council tax. Most universities have job shops to help students find decent work. She should have £200+ a week before she heads for the hardship funds. depending upon her course, she may not be able to take a job, and most Uni's do not encourage that, even thought they know many students HAVE to take a job

Universities do not like students working more than 15-20 hours a week in term time but that is normal. One student I interviewed for a part-time job last month said working helped her keep focussed and improved her time management, rather than her old habit of letting it all drift and not even getting her studies done. see above re jobs

What may make a difference is if you and OH could save a small amount so that in year 3 she does not have to work in her last term when all the assessments and exams are. Not necessarily correct - most Uni's nowadays are on a 2-semester system, meaning exams in January and June in 1st & 3rd years, if not all years.

Also if you make it clear that she is always welcome!!!! to come and stay over the vacs, then she can choose to spend money on rent or not in the summer.

Sorry but at the moment, she is behaving like the child of very rich parents, not the child of some-one who is on the breadline.

I have spent so much time reading the DofE guide to Student Finance, i think i could pass an exam on it! And moving in with DF which meant falling into the "paying to keep the kids at Uni" section of society, and having DS1 on the "old" fee-paid system and DS2 on the "new" fee-loan system has made it even more interesting!

B-S, i think you will both have your hands full with her!

Love Floss xx