My boyfriends SOA - Help needed here

Gforce_2

hi bs
have you checked to see if he gets the single person discount with his council tax and if he pays it over 10 months or 12?

HariboJunkie

Black saturn...You asked when you started the thread for us to help you see where your OH could cut back and save money. We have offered various suggestions but they have been met with defensive answers and your assertion that he can't do the things we suggest. I agree that this is going round in circles but I think that is because we are all saying that he needs to work more hours for a decent wage instead of spending 18 hours a week walking to a job that pays him a pittance and because you have moved the goal posts re his hours etc.

To those who feel that some of the posts on here are unfair to BS I would ask you to look again. Black saturn has started other threads in which she could not seem to take honest opinions or constructive criticism without feeling that an "entourage" of posters were following her around and making her life a misery. She has asked for other threads to be closed for the same reason.
I know you say we should ignore but I for one do feel the need to post if there are discrepancies. Other people may not. That is our choice but I refuse to believe that questioning another person's posts constitutes being unfair and unsupportive.

pandas66

tru wrote: »

I agree that Mr BS needs to check if he's receiving all the benefits he's entitled to and also his wages seem wrong so he should look into that too.

But his outgoings aren't going to change, even if his income goes up. So in the meantime, can't we just concentrate on that? :rolleyes:

I agree the outgoings aren't going to change, certainly doesn't seem to be much to cut back on.

But I do think the income side could be increased, I am rather at why a thread is started, posted on and not acted on.

Each to their own though, when people have their head in the sand long enough the perhaps think everyone has

and I do think some cracking advice has been given and not appreciated.

pipkin71

Can I ask why you started this thread Black_Saturn? You clearly made an error with the information you gave - particularly the hours worked. Now, I know you say that doesn't matter because the income and outgoings haven't changed, but it does matter with the level of benefits your OH would be entitled to.

Now, for whatever reason, you logged in as your OH - you know you did - to thank yourself for starting this thread. You also confirmed - as your OH - that the figures / hours were correct, when clearly they wasn't.

As other posters have pointed out, the hours worked have gone from full time to part time, but the pay is still way below the minimum wage. How can someone who is out of the house for over 10, or 12 hours a day only be working for less than 5 of them? Surely, common sense would tell your OH to get a different job - even MacDonald's would be better paid than his shelf stacking job. Maybe you should really be questioning your OH about where all those hours out of the house are spent.

The thing is Black_Saturn, is that many of us actually use our common sense. If something doesn't sound right, then 8 out of 10 time, it isn't. Look at the issue of rent. When you hear of the cost of living in London, how much it costs to rent properties, people living in London who pay rent for council accomodation saying it costs more, and then you - or you as your OH - say rent on a two bed is less than £50 per week, it doesn't ring true. When posters question this, you become defensive and we are jealous, stalkers, part of your entourage, whatever

Another thing that bothers me. In the OP, you said your OH travel expenses were £44 per month, and that would sound reasonable if he had to catch a bus between stores. However, when I asked why his travel to visit you was not included in the SOA, you then state that the £44 is to visit you . Now, he doesn't catch the bus between stores. Doesn't eat his lunch on the bus, he walks. This puzzles me, because you are now saying it costs £22 for a return between Lowestoft and London for your OH, but it also costs you £22 and you have two children. I know you wouldn't leave your children behind because you have stated often enough how you didn't have your children for others to look after.;)

Indeed, you have often mentioned how your children come first, and that is a good thing. However, please think about this. Every two weeks, your children finish school - at what, 3.30? - and then have to put up with a two hour train journey to go and stay in a grotty two bed council flat for the weekend. I use the term grotty because that is how you portrayed it when trying to explain why the rent was so low. You say Newham isn't a very nice place and yet you still take your children every other weekend. Then, of course, you say they don't mind, and maybe they don't, but exactly who's needs are you putting first - yours, or your children's?

Coming back to the travel expenses, looking at rail ticket prices online, it costs more than £22 to travel between London / Lowestoft and vice versa. Do I just take your word for it then that it is £22? You say

black-saturn wrote: »

. I'm not in the business of typing lies into this board.

Really?

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.html?p=6670500&postcount=16

That statement was not true, so if it's not true, and you don't lie, what is it?

Editted to say, I see my post on that thread highlighting that we were in the middle of exchanging posts when the site went down has been removed

For me personally, the stuff you post has the boy / wolf syndrome about it. I can never be sure what is fact or fiction, because you have blatantly lied on here. So, perhaps I should just ignore your posts, roll my eyes at them and move on. Perhaps I should, or I can highlight where there are inconsistencies in your posts, I feel that is my choice to make at any given time.

For those who think that posters have not been supportive of your opening thread, I would have to agree with haribojunkie

HariboJunkie wrote: »

To those who feel that some of the posts on here are unfair to BS I would ask you to look again. Black saturn has started other threads in which she could not seem to take honest opinions or constructive criticism without feeling that an "entourage" of posters were following her around and making her life a misery. She has asked for other threads to be closed for the same reason.
I know you say we should ignore but I for one do feel the need to post if there are discrepancies. Other people may not. That is our choice but I refuse to believe that questioning another person's posts constitutes being unfair and unsupportive.

Perhaps it is time for this thread to be closed. Perhaps the real money-stretcher should come on and post his real SOA - rather than you pretending to be him. You posted the SOA for a reason, and if it wasn't to look at it from a different perspective, then I don't know why you did. Other than increasing his income, cutting back on the wedding fund, or putting the wedding off until your OH is more financially grounded, I can't see where else he could cut back. Now, before you go shouting how money doesn't matter, ect, you are taking £70 each month from your OH, knowing how tight his finances are. If money truly didn't matter, you would have suggested a long time ago, that he keep the £70 and funded the wedding yourself.

I haven't posted this to make your life a misery, so please don't play the victim and post somewhere else - yet again - that you are leaving:rolleyes: , because clearly you don't mean it, and yet again, it is boy / wolf syndrome. I haven't posted out of jealousy or because I am shallow or because I am part of your entourage - you are not that important dear!

You, your OH, you acting as your OH have had some good advice. It is down to you whether you take it or not. I hope your OH rethinks his current job situation. Perhaps things will improve when he moves in with you in May / June of next year, and, despite what you may think, I hope things clearly work out for you. You love your OH. You would give him your last penny - personally, I would give it to my children, as they would come before any man, irrespective of how much I love him. However, you should also think about if it doesn't work out. Are you prepared to hand over half the marital home that you have managed to purchase if it doesn't work? What happens if living together full time is not as fun as visiting on a weekend and after a year you have had enough of each other? Are you prepared to sell up and move your children into rented accomodation when you OH realises he wants to be in London with his daughter. I'm not saying this will happen, but it is a possibility and has happened to others before now - just look at the divorce rate!

I'm sorry if you feel posters have been getting to you, but perhaps that may make you step back and look at the stuff you often post on threads. In any event, I hope your OH situation improves, and he is able to find a full time job rather than rely on you buying his drinks at the bar, because I should imagine that is either very demeaning or you are being taken for granted, and are so much in love, you can't see what others clearly can.

Best wishes

Pipkin xxxx

Uniscots97

Does anyone know if black-saturn is ok? She hasn't been on in a few months.

Gemmzie

I think she left

Uniscots97

Oh, thats not good. Really liked her meal planner on the OS board and she gave me some good advice when I first came on here. I hope she's ok.

Cazzdevil

If she has left I'm not surprised judging by the way some of the posters replied to her.

mariauk

Cazzdevil wrote: »

If she has left I'm not surprised judging by the way some of the posters replied to her.

Hi Cazz

I think you would find that most of the time the replies have been valid because of the content of the OP. As so many of BS`s threads/post have been deleted due to BS`s reporting almost everything and everyone if replies were not to her liking, unfortunately people will not see the other side of things and will have missed a lot of the uncalled for comment`s and remarks made by BS. There is no smoke without fire would be an appropriate ditty for this one A lot of posters have been on these boards a long time and will never forget some of the comments that were made by BS because they were so out of order.

Cazzdevil

That's fair enough then, I didn't pretend to know anything about it, it was just that some of the posts seemed rather attacking.

I must say, I've had my doubts about a couple of things BS has said on the Old Style boards but it's not my place to judge or be critical of her