Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

greenbee

And mine...

In fact how about we all swap round? We'll come and do your kids rooms while you do our stuff

beanielou

No, no ladies.
HHD is coming to ME first:p:D

HairyHandofDartmoor

Verbatim wrote: »

When you've finished your decluttering would you please come and do mine?
Aaahhh!

greenbee wrote: »

And mine...

In fact how about we all swap round? We'll come and do your kids rooms while you do our stuff

beanielou wrote: »

No, no ladies.
HHD is coming to ME first:p:D

I'm going to be very busy :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[Deleted User]

Congratulations on all the decluttering you've done so far:T:beer:. So glad you went to Pilates even though your friend couldn't go, as it obviously is exactly the weekly tonic you need. Well done on keeping the spends low too. I hope your next teacher will be as good.


I used to console myself with the fact that decluttering should be viewed in the same way as dieting. It takes years to put the weight on until people decide something really needs to be done about it because life has become uncomfortable. It's easy to get demoralised and give up because after an initial blitz things 'plateau' and good intentions falter. They say don't do 'crash diets' because the weight took years to accumulate and people shouldn't try to shed it all at once. Slow and steady and all that. I think that's why people get fed up, it just takes so darn long. Not speaking from personal experience as I've never been overweight by more than 4 or 5 pounds in my life:j (not that I have an iron will or anything, it must be my metabolism as I eat like a horse and not all the healthy options either:o)


Your decluttering has been in the 'crash dieting' mode so it just goes to prove 'slow and steady' doesn't apply to some things;). Just don't overdo it though, it wasn't all that long ago when you were feeling totally exhausted. After all, like people who are very obese, the excess weight/clutter took years to slowly build up. As you said yourself,Rome wasn't built in a day.


I just want to say ( sorry if it's not appropriate as I'm still a newbie to your lovely group of diary friends), but why should you have the responsibility for decluttering your sons' rooms? They're grown men and if they choose to live in chaos surely it's up to them. They'll have seen the great improvements you've made to the communal areas of the home and hopefully the 'bug' has hit them too. Your traveller son has said you can do his room when he's away but why can't he make a start himself in the time he has left before he goes? Or have the 'treat' of doing it instore for his return:rotfl:. It's not just the physical act of decluttering other people's stuff it's the mental dilemmas it throws up for the person doing it which cause headaches and possible recriminations later. ''Where's my xxxxx? Why did you throw my xxxxx away?'' type of thing.


Sorry, HH. You'll ban me from your diary at this rate:o:eek:. Have a lovely day and try to find a bit of time for yourself.

foxgloves

I think it must be very difficult decluttering other people's rooms. I can remember my parents getting to the point with my sister & I where they said that as we now had both finished university & were no longer living at home, we needed to come home & decide what we wanted to take with us. That reduced the clutter a bit. I can remember then getting a phone call from Dad, saying "Mum's clearing out, we've still got your........... (he read out a list). It's about to go to the charity shop or the tip. If I wanted any of it, they would bring it up to me on their next visit.
And you know what? Because the onus was then on me for finding somewhere to store it, & having my clutter in my own home, I said it was fine for them to get rid of it.
Sounds like you are making really good inroads into your decluttering, HHoD. I must say it's a process which always makes my mind feel tidier somehow. Any reason why your sons can't sort out their own rooms? They're adults, so I think I'd be inclined to shut the door on their rooms & use the time saved on doing communal areas, cupboards, etc.
Mr F is making noises about a couple of tip runs at the weekend..... I think the massive pile of dross up behind the shed may be on its way out at last!!
F x

arsenalbarnie

I’m like Hairy, I end up decluttering as I can’t stand the mess even behind closed doors. The two of mine who live away now, I bought two big boxes and put their sentimental stuff in and they are up in the loft. Their rooms now are lovely and clear and make a guest bedroom too for visitors. Not that we have any! DS1’s is the ironing room when he’s not here.

I seem to spend my life moving stuff around.
The loft is now full but mostly boxes. That is a work in progress

[Deleted User]

arsenalbarnie wrote: »

I seem to spend my life moving stuff around.
The loft is now full but mostly boxes. That is a work in progress

I think decluttering always is a work in progress, arsenalbarnie. No sooner has it all (mostly anyway) been discarded/stashed away than something else magically appears to take it's place:eek:


I love to see transformations on TV where chaos is turned into minimalism, or the pics in magazines of lovely minimalist rooms. I wonder how long they stay that way though when people actually have to live normal lives in them?

teafor2

Morning HHD Hope you have a good day at work.

I can see all points of view with de-cluttering DC's rooms. Yes, they're adults and should be doing it themselves but I'd be happy to help them out if they needed a bit of encouragement to get rid of stuff if it was going to make me feel better in the long run.

I know this is probably very un-PC and sexist but I always think at least yours are boys. DD's room is a tip when she's been home and I just don't get that for a girl. But she seems oblivious to it and was genuinely surprised when I went in and told her it was a mess. Lord knows how she's living at Uni :eek: xx

HairyHandofDartmoor

Thanks Noella, Foxgloves, Arsenalbarnie, and TF2 for your interesting view point on de-cluttering . No one is being banned from my diary and I'm definitely not offended Noella .

The grown up sons could do it, but they won't. Both of them have suffered from/still suffer from depression and other issues. Maybe I'm too soft but I think they need a bit of help sorting out the mess of their own making, and even though it's behind closed doors it does still bother me. Not to mention the hole in DS2's wall which the mice are getting in through :eek:. If we clear his room a bit we can get to the wall and mend the hole. Plus I'm sure DS1 and DS2 would feel better with less mess. As the mess was acquired during a time when we had a lot of family problems, I think it's become overwhelming to them but they're both ready to tackle it with help. Then hopefully they'll be able to maintain it themselves a bit better. Or there goes the theory :rotfl:.

HairyHandofDartmoor

teafor2 wrote: »

Morning HHD Hope you have a good day at work.

I can see all points of view with de-cluttering DC's rooms. Yes, they're adults and should be doing it themselves but I'd be happy to help them out if they needed a bit of encouragement to get rid of stuff if it was going to make me feel better in the long run.

I know this is probably very un-PC and sexist but I always think at least yours are boys. DD's room is a tip when she's been home and I just don't get that for a girl. But she seems oblivious to it and was genuinely surprised when I went in and told her it was a mess. Lord knows how she's living at Uni :eek: xx

It's probably better for your peace of mind that you can't see DD's room at uni TF2 :rotfl:. Girls are usually a bit tidier, but not always .