Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

HairyHandofDartmoor

Cumbria_lass wrote: »

Well handled HH , glad to hear your cold is somewhat better.

Thank you Cumbria .

WannabeFree wrote: »

I think you handled it really well (better than I could/did)

Glad you're feeling better but don't do too much

Take care

x

Thank you Wannabe . I don't think I would have handled it as well when I was a teenager, but age brings wisdom I hope . You handle everything magnificently as far as I can see :T.

HairyHandofDartmoor

I had a rest and then I've hoovered up the sawdust too :T. I'm resting now for the rest of the evening though because I don't want to overdo it. I'm so thankful I'm feeling better because it's much easier to stay cheerful if I can keep busy and go out and about etc.

The oven is unmended but DH is cooking a pasta dish on the hob.

DS1 and I are watching a series called 'You' on Netflix, a slightly creepy psychological thriller, just my cup of tea .

Seasidegal58

I think you've handled stepdad's news wonderfully today under the circumstances.

You sound more positive this evening - glad to hear you're being cooked for and that you're putting your feet up!:)

Sun_Addict

Another one here who thinks it's too soon for your step dad to have a new lady. But, as others have said, men are different and can't seem to cope alone. I wouldn't be too happy about it myself but on the other hand maybe he's thinking life's too short and wants to recapture the happiness he had with your mum while he still has time. It's a difficult one.

Boo to the oven

Glad you're feeling better xx

HairyHandofDartmoor

Thank you SSG .

I actually felt quite upset when I was walking around the shops and straight after I got home. But because my cold is better I was able to use my usual coping strategy of doing chores and keeping busy.

I do feel very sad deep down, but I'm finding it easier to think of other things because I've been doing housework, etc. I also exchanged some long messages with my sister which helped as she feels exactly the same way I do.

I'm lucky to have DH and the DC, and my sister, so I need to try and focus on that as much as I can.

HairyHandofDartmoor

Sun_Addict wrote: »

Another one here who thinks it's too soon for your step dad to have a new lady. But, as others have said, men are different and can't seem to cope alone. I wouldn't be too happy about it myself but on the other hand maybe he's thinking life's too short and wants to recapture the happiness he had with your mum while he still has time. It's a difficult one.

Boo to the oven

Glad you're feeling better xx

Thank you SA . I'm sure there is a lot of truth in him wanting to recapture the happiness. If only it hadn't happened so soon.

WannabeFree

I think unless you're in the situation it's so hard to know how to react. I HATE being on my own. I'm scared of my own shadow and I just don't like it. So I can see how maybe he just doesn't want to be lonely and 'jumping' into a friendship with someone else might be his way of dealing with that. Maybe he thinks if he's alone he will be stuck in the grief period longer and his new friend is his distraction. Similar to you keep yourself busy to deal with your grief and thoughts. I guess until you're there in that place you can never really know.

That doesn't mean anyone's right/wrong but I do think you handed it brilliantly, that too doesn't mean you can't be upset about it.

Take care

x

HairyHandofDartmoor

Thank you Wannabe . It is hard to know how anyone else is feeling I agree.

tantaraza

I think I’ve caught your cold, HHOD — I was in the middle of typing out a response earlier today when I fell asleep

I agree with everyone else that it does seem quick, but that you’re coping admirably well with the situation. :T I think it may be one of those things that require time, so it’s good to hear that your stepdad is willing to give you time and not rush into any meetings with his new partner.

Excellent news on the resting and DH cooking instead. I hope that you take tomorrow easy too, and then you’ll be well-rested for the PPI work on Monday.

HairyHandofDartmoor

Thank you Tantaraza . Life throws us so many challenges and it can be so hard to deal with some of them.

I hope that you're not catching my cold, you should try and have an early night as you're obviously tired.

I will have no excuse not to do the PPI work .