Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

Onebrokelady

Gosh Hairy,it never rains but it pours doesn't it, I think regarding men they don't work like we do and find it easier to move on,I also don't think they cope well with being on their own very well
My brother in law was the same after my sister died,he met someone after a year and ended up moving in with her and selling the family home, one of his daughters had to move into her own place as she was still at home at that time,it did end badly though because they split up and this woman tried take half his money from the sale of his and my sisters house,I neve found out what happened about that
He is with another woman now who has the same name as my sister and was someone she worked with and they hated each other,this woman is a mouthy mare isn't popular with the family,my brother in law kept in contact with my mum and dad after my sister died as they are grandparents to his children but my poor mum was left upset at Christmas because he didn't send her a Christmas card this year, when my mum mentioned it to one of his daughters she said I wouldn't worry about it we didn't get one either
Hopefully this lady is a nice person who is just looking for company,I think you are dealing with it really well and have been very understanding xx

Willowtree222

Morning Hairy,
hoping the cold is a little better this morning. I thought a lot about it all last night and sending as many hugs as I can your way.

Keeping busy will hopefully help and you have your course as well so that should be another thing that you have to think about rather than anything else.

I hope today is a nice day and you have something planned, even something little to get you out. x

HairyHandofDartmoor

Onebrokelady wrote: »

Gosh Hairy,it never rains but it pours doesn't it, I think regarding men they don't work like we do and find it easier to move on,I also don't think they cope well with being on their own very well
My brother in law was the same after my sister died,he met someone after a year and ended up moving in with her and selling the family home, one of his daughters had to move into her own place as she was still at home at that time,it did end badly though because they split up and this woman tried take half his money from the sale of his and my sisters house,I neve found out what happened about that
He is with another woman now who has the same name as my sister and was someone she worked with and they hated each other,this woman is a mouthy mare isn't popular with the family,my brother in law kept in contact with my mum and dad after my sister died as they are grandparents to his children but my poor mum was left upset at Christmas because he didn't send her a Christmas card this year, when my mum mentioned it to one of his daughters she said I wouldn't worry about it we didn't get one either
Hopefully this lady is a nice person who is just looking for company,I think you are dealing with it really well and have been very understanding xx

Thank you OBL . It's such a shock that it will take me ages to get used to it . Families can be very complicated .

Nicnak wrote: »

Morning Hairy,
hoping the cold is a little better this morning. I thought a lot about it all last night and sending as many hugs as I can your way.

Keeping busy will hopefully help and you have your course as well so that should be another thing that you have to think about rather than anything else.

I hope today is a nice day and you have something planned, even something little to get you out. x

Thank you Nicnak . I woke up at 6am because I couldn't stop thinking about it . I'll get used to it eventually.

We're going to work on my business today, and tomorrow I need to look at the PPI stuff. But I will go to Pilates tomorrow and I want to go out on Tuesday and have a walk to clear my head.

doingitanyway

Sorry the situation disturbed your sleep

Like you I will be taking a walk today as it is dry, cold but quite bright for January

HairyHandofDartmoor

Thank you DIA . Enjoy your walk.

jwil

I'd find it too soon too, but you've handled it well.

Have a good day x

WannabeFree

Have a good day HH

x

HairyHandofDartmoor

jwil wrote: »

I'd find it too soon too, but you've handled it well.

Have a good day x

WannabeFree wrote: »

Have a good day HH

x

Thank you both .

daisy_1571

Well done hh for coping with it so well on the outside. When feelings are raw it must be easy to get touchy and for everyone to fall out.

I come from a family that tends not to fall out. When my mums brother and wife were having trouble and eventually split up my side still kept up with and were friendly to his wife, she still comes to family events etc to this day. Her own mum though couldn't cope and wouldn't have my uncle in her house and said some awful things about him to her daughter (ie my aunt, the one who was married to him), her other 2 daughters and her grandchildren. That includes her granddaughter who was daughter of the 2 split up parents. That ended up causing a rift throughout her family as people took sides or argued another point of view to hers and directly led to her not seeing that granddaughter for several years. All because she openly took sides, spoke about someone elses relationship in a black/white kind of fashion instead of trying to empathise whilst not agreeing (and no matter what stories you hear surely you never really really know what goes on in someone elses relationship?), and opined about things she really had no business deciding. There was no 'other party' or 'wronged party' in their situation so no one was really 'to blame', they tried for years to keep together and happy, they were civilised and organised the best for their two older teenagers and indeed remain on very friendly terms to this day.

I'm not saying this is in any way linked to your situation hairy. Just saying how things can get out of hand when wider family take 'positions' through their own hurt, bewilderment, family feelings or even embarrassment at what other people might think so I really applaud how even now you are looking at the bigger picture of not wanting 40 years of good times to be spoilt by this at such an emotional time. Really really well done and take comfort from your own maturity here if you can, as a balance to your feelings that you wish it had happened a bit further down the line.

Daisy xx

elizabethhull

daisy_1571 wrote: »

When my mums brother and wife were having trouble and eventually split up my side still kept up with and were friendly to his wife, she still comes to family events etc to this day.
Daisy xx

Same with my brother's first wife, after all, WE didn't fall out with her, and I still think she's lovely. Although he would never be openly hostile, he would really have preferred if our family and hers had broken up too, whereas we all go each other's events.

Hope your cold is improving, HH, and you can look forward to a good week xx

(why does my 1st attempt always say 'your cod' ???? Sounds very fishy to me)