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Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

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  • I had a busy day today! DS3 went to his contact lense review and DH to his meeting, while I picked up some toiletries in B00ts. I walked home with DS3 and clocked up fifty active minutes! It was nice because we had time to chat.

    Then in the afternoon we went to Mr T and got plates, teatowels, bin liners, dusters etc for DS3's flat. Then this evening we had our family meal with my stepdad, which was lovely but felt sad because my mum would have loved being there. We got the waitress to take a photo. It was like the last supper!

    DH and I feel shattered and poor now, and we haven't bought any food for DS3 yet! We did use restaurant vouchers to pay for the meal though.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
    HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS
  • badmemory
    badmemory Posts: 9,987 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Just remember that anything you buy your lovely DS3 that needs wahing is going to come home with him and need washing (in a mother's terms disinfecting/bleaching). So I think minimalism is the way to go!



    I guess you would no more go that route than I would but it would be nice to try!!!
  • Minimalism would be sensible, but probably unlikely to happen Badmemory!

    I feel like DS3 has had some tough times in the past six years, with his brother's mental illness, his aunt dying of cancer, recently losing his grandmother, his parents having massive debts and the recession nearly killing off our business. Not all of it was under our control, but it meant we couldn't give him as good a start in life as we hoped.

    DS3 has finally had the confidence and focus to work hard and get into uni, and we want to get him off to a good start. Without bankrupting us in the process of course. We're only buying him essentials to set up home and he's having a lot of DS1's repurposed stuff. We're not buying him a laptop or printer, much as I would love to, as we simply don't have the money:( He'll have to buy stuff like that out of his loan money:(.

    I'm hoping he may get a bursary from the uni due to our low income. My stepdad is going to give him £100 a month which is very kind of him and will help DS3 a lot. My aunt has given him two brand new tea towels she didn't need too, which is nice of her.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
    HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS
  • I'm going to Mr T soon with my stepdad to do our food shop. Then this afternoon will be spent packing DS3's china etc and making comprehensive lists so I finally feel on top of things!

    DH logged in to the uni website as DS3 and finally found out his postal address anyway!
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
    HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS
  • That's the shopping done and within budget. We should save money on food once DS3 is at uni buying his own. I won't need to buy Earl Grey teabags, sausage rolls and chicken nuggets any more. We'll get through less milk, bread and eggs. And I'll only have to cook dinner for four.

    We should save on electricity too as DS3 has his laptop and light on all day in his room, plus he usually has a cooked lunch so the oven is bring used in the middle of the day.

    Much of these savings will be offset by petrol costs however :(.

    I want to do laundry and start packing his kitchen stuff this afternoon. We also need to book a moving in slot at the uni for our car. You get given a two hour window to move them in!
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
    HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS
  • HairyHandofDartmoor
    HairyHandofDartmoor Posts: 13,960 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 19 September 2018 at 12:43PM
    I have a question for those people who have got/had a child at university. How often did you visit them?

    We are obviously taking DS3 with all his stuff on Friday and will collect him and all his stuff at the end of his first year. I'm assuming (hoping) he will come home for Christmas and Easter holidays and we will expect him to do that by coach. But I'm wondering how often to visit him in the term time.

    If we visited once a term then that would be five trips a year of over 600 hundred miles each round trip (including dropping off at year start and picking up at year end) which would cost us £500 a year in petrol plus other expenses. I honestly don't think we can afford that as we have no emergency fund and money is tight.

    I'd like to visit him halfway through the first term. But would it be mean not to visit him apart from that?
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
    HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS
  • gallygirl
    gallygirl Posts: 17,240 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Em...... he may well not want you to visit him :rotfl:. Looking back to when my two were at uni I didn't visit at all :o but they came home once or twice a term, with me slipping them the money for the train or coach. That way they got their washing cleaned and a good feed :rotfl:. You may find he will have events with friends he wants to come back for anyway.
    A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort
    :) Mortgage Balance = £0 :)
    "Do what others won't early in life so you can do what others can't later in life"
  • gallygirl wrote: »
    Em...... he may well not want you to visit him :rotfl:. Looking back to when my two were at uni I didn't visit at all :o but they came home once or twice a term, with me slipping them the money for the train or coach. That way they got their washing cleaned and a good feed :rotfl:. You may find he will have events with friends he wants to come back for anyway.

    Have to agree with this. We were never welcome to visit DS at all during his time at Uni. He came home for hols and also for a couple of weekends each term to see his mates. He was enjoying himself too much to want us visiting....presumably doing stuff that he didn't want us to know about :rotfl:
    August 2018: Secured Debt £70,003 Unsecured Debt (DMP) £34,657 Total £104,660 DFD: March 2031
    January 2019: Secured Debt £68,269 Unsecured Debt (DMP) £34,457 Total £102,726 DFD: March 2031
  • I have a question for those people who have got/had a child at university. How often did you visit them?

    I'd like to visit him halfway through the first term. But would it be mean not to visit him apart from that?

    We visited DD1 about once a term, plus the occasional concert.
    DD2 - also for concerts, but overall less than that, partly because it was further and partly because she & boyfriend were travelling between Cambridge(him) and UEA(her) most weekends !

    When we did go, we took them out for Sunday lunch, often to a Hungry Horse where you got an excellent feed at moderate prices. DD2 used to arrive home for the holidays desperate for vegetables, having hardly had any for weeks !
  • Sounds like you are having a busy time?

    Never on the visits. Most people went home (train) to see their mates/family half way through the first term, But parental inspections rarely happened. I had a friend whose Dad visited and insisted on being shown everything and talking to people. He was mortified, all kudos destroyed overnight.
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