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Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

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  • Supplementary comment: DON'T make a surprise visit !!! My inlaws-to-be did that, and we (only boyfriend/girlfriend at the time) spent 5 mins frantically getting dressed pretending we were tidying up.
  • gallygirl wrote: »
    Em...... he may well not want you to visit him :rotfl:. Looking back to when my two were at uni I didn't visit at all :o but they came home once or twice a term, with me slipping them the money for the train or coach. That way they got their washing cleaned and a good feed :rotfl:. You may find he will have events with friends he wants to come back for anyway.
    DMP_Tiger wrote: »
    Have to agree with this. We were never welcome to visit DS at all during his time at Uni. He came home for hols and also for a couple of weekends each term to see his mates. He was enjoying himself too much to want us visiting....presumably doing stuff that he didn't want us to know about :rotfl:

    Thanks both of you. It's good to get another perspective :).

    Fingers crossed he will want to come home for the weekend once a term and then we won't have to visit. The coach fare will only be about £20 return on the cheap coach, so a helluva lot cheaper than us driving up to visit him which will cost us megabucks in petrol.

    DS1 was a bit clingy and liked us visiting, but that was only a two and a half hour drive, so we could go for the day which was a lot cheaper.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
    HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS
  • We visited DD1 about once a term, plus the occasional concert.
    DD2 - also for concerts, but overall less than that, partly because it was further and partly because she & boyfriend were travelling between Cambridge(him) and UEA(her) most weekends !

    When we did go, we took them out for Sunday lunch, often to a Hungry Horse where you got an excellent feed at moderate prices. DD2 used to arrive home for the holidays desperate for vegetables, having hardly had any for weeks !

    Once a term is nice, but as it's a six hour drive for us it would involve an overnight stay and so would get very expensive.
    Sounds like you are having a busy time?

    Never on the visits. Most people went home (train) to see their mates/family half way through the first term, But parental inspections rarely happened. I had a friend whose Dad visited and insisted on being shown everything and talking to people. He was mortified, all kudos destroyed overnight.

    I'm relieved that parents rarely visited. I'd much rather DS3 came home for a weekend, mainly due to money/time off work issues for us.
    Supplementary comment: DON'T make a surprise visit !!! My inlaws-to-be did that, and we (only boyfriend/girlfriend at the time) spent 5 mins frantically getting dressed pretending we were tidying up.

    We would never make a surprise visit. DS3 would probably refuse to answer the door if we did that :).
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
    HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS
  • Dorastar
    Dorastar Posts: 2,175 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    My parents visited twice in 4 years but only when they were on their way somewhere for a holiday and definitely never a surprise visit! He'll come home when he needs a good feed or his washing pile is so huge he can't cope any longer.
    Mortgage £119,533 going down slowly
    Emergency fund £1000/£1000
    Savings for big things £9017
  • Thanks Dora you're telling me exactly what I want to hear. I love seeing DS3 but it's a time off work and money issue.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
    HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS
  • HairyHandofDartmoor
    HairyHandofDartmoor Posts: 13,960 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 19 September 2018 at 3:41PM
    DH has finally booked DS3's moving in slot. We had a choice between 8-10am or 4-6pm. All other slots gone. So he's booked the early slot. I knew we'd end up with the worst slot because DH has been procrastinating :(. We're going to have to get up very early!

    On a more positive note, at least he'll be moved in bright and early and will have all day to make friends and do freshers activities.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
    HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS
  • I feel a bit tearful tonight :(. It's because it's DS3's last day tomorrow before he goes away to uni and I don't have my mum to share it with.

    It's going to be tough driving home without him on Monday. I want him to go to uni and live his life and be happy, but I feel like I'm losing DS3 as well as my mum :(.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
    HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS
  • System
    System Posts: 178,368 Community Admin
    10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    It's all come together HH , at least DS3 will be coming home for holidays . The time will fly by before he is back with you. Your mum will be watching over you all as you do the early moving in slot. Which Uni is he going to ?
    This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
  • Thank you Cumbria. He's going to university of London. I know he will come home for holidays, but it's so soon after losing my mum that it seems hard. I want him to be happy, but it feels like everything is changing at the moment.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
    HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS
  • It's natural to feel like you do with everything that has happened lately, but as Cumbria says, he'll be back before you know it. Perhaps you could arrange to FaceTime or Skype occasionally? And the holidays are long too.

    To add my pennysworth to the visit debate - I never visited DD apart from when we initially took her up to begin uni - the uni was miles away up north so not exactly on my doorstep and I don't drive. I used to speak to her on the phone every week - no mobiles then! But it never seemed that long before she was back for the holidays.
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016 🌟
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017
    🌟
    RETIRED: MAY 2021!!!!😀🎆
    My diary: “Seasidegal's Scrimpy Retirement Diary!”
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