Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

HairyHandofDartmoor

My mouth felt like I drank a whole bottle of wine last night, my mouth was so dry this morning, even though I haven't touched a drop of alcohol since my mum died. That's what getting upset does to you, it gives you a hangover .

Today I need to get my s**t together, stop being miserable, and stop giving other people the power to upset me.

I've been fed up about my niece recently too. She's the only one who lives locally and has a tendency to ignore texts and messages, even if I invite her around for a meal or suggest meeting up. Anyway last night I was already upset, so I decided that if my niece wants to see me she can get in touch with me. I'm fed up with chasing her. I know she's busy and all that, but I think it's rude to ignore texts, or take over a week to answer. If my aunt texted me I would reply the same day out of respect for her. DH says I need to be less 'available' and be busy with my own schedule.

So this morning we need to pick up DS1 from his friend's house, then on the way back I want to buy milk, and buy, write in and post a new home card to my local niece (it's what my mum would have done). After that I have a laundry and house cleaning schedule planned, before going to Pilates at 5.30 tonight.

elizabethhull

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

DS1 is still away and my stepdad is busy today (selling my mum's car ) so I'm going to do laundry/ironing this morning and then go to a NT place with DH for a walk this afternoon. The sun is shining and hopefully I'll have a nice enough time to get me through the evening. I've been seeing my mum on a Sunday evening for over 25 years .

I've got plans for the week ahead. Pilates on Monday evening; aunt, uncle and stepdad around for dinner on Tuesday evening; food shop on Wednesday; nothing yet on Thursday; walk with stepdad and DS3 on Friday. Having plans in place makes feel better .

I do know the difficulty of not experiencing previously regular and long-lasting contacts.
Although I never did, the advice to replace it with something specific sounds a good idea, even if you're not a 'bath person' !

Plans are excellent.

I expect we're all doing a little celebratory dance on your behalf for you reaching your target weight. It's not your priority, but it's still an achievement.

elizabethhull

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

Anyway last night I was already upset, so I decided that if my niece wants to see me she can get in touch with me. I'm fed up with chasing her. I know she's busy and all that, but I think it's rude to ignore texts, or take over a week to answer. If my aunt texted me I would reply the same day out of respect for her. DH says I need to be less 'available' and be busy with my own schedule.

I think it never occurs to some people that they are being rude. Because you are a responsive & caring person, you automatically reply, offer to help etc. Some other people never do. Their loss.

Yes, she can do the 'running', or you can set in your diary a date to contact her again, 'Haven't heard from you for a while, hope all's ok' sort of thing, but not for at least a month, if not longer.

HairyHandofDartmoor

Thank you Elizabeth. I know my niece is busy but I think it shows me that I'm a low priority in her life. Just a sentence saying thanks for the invitation but I'm really busy so I can't come, would keep me happy. It's being ignored that makes me feel bad.

Anyway DS1 is back and very tired after all his socialising.

I've posted a new home card to my niece and bought more milk. I also bought some autumn Cyclamens to plant in a pot to cheer me up. I've washed some of DS2's travel clothes and hung them in the garden to dry, put the dishwasher on and boured boiling water on the weeds on our patio (a Bob Flowerdew tip DH heard on the radio, it works a treat).

DS1 needs clean bedding on his bed and the bathroom needs a clean. After that it should be time for me to go to Pilates. It's just down the road so I can walk there.

jwil

Enjoy your pilates x

Dorastar

Sounds like the house will be spotless soon and thanks for the weeds tip cos ours have gone mad in recent weeks!

I agree with elizabethhull about your niece, I always try to respond to people the same day or at least the next day but lots of people don't and it really annoys/upsets me but hubby says I have to ignore it. I think it's plain rude but have never said that to anyone's face!

HairyHandofDartmoor

jwil wrote: »

Enjoy your pilates x

I'm not going to Pilates because I felt so tired I had a nap and I just woke up . It's because I had such a bad night last night. But there is a different class on Wednesday I could go to. I feel such a light weight!

Dorastar wrote: »

Sounds like the house will be spotless soon and thanks for the weeds tip cos ours have gone mad in recent weeks!

I agree with elizabethhull about your niece, I always try to respond to people the same day or at least the next day but lots of people don't and it really annoys/upsets me but hubby says I have to ignore it. I think it's plain rude but have never said that to anyone's face!

The house still isn't spotless Dora, but I hope it will be eventually. I think it's because it needed a real deep clean as I've been so busy for so many years that it's been neglected.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who knows people that don't reply. She used to do it to my mum too. I'm too polite to say anything though!

beanielou

So for the weeds.
You just pour boiling water on them & it helps them to go away?

Your neice obviously lives in a bubble

Sun_Addict

I like the boiling water on weeds tip too

Don't chase after your niece, let her do the running. It's very rude of her to ignore your texts.

HairyHandofDartmoor

beanielou wrote: »

So for the weeds.
You just pour boiling water on them & it helps them to go away?

Your neice obviously lives in a bubble

Sun_Addict wrote: »

I like the boiling water on weeds tip too

Don't chase after your niece, let her do the running. It's very rude of her to ignore your texts.

I'm glad people agree about my niece.

Yes you pour boiling water from a kettle on the roots of the weeds and they go brown and shrivel up. Some bigger weeds might need two attempts. I wouldn't do it on weeds in the border for fear of killing plants I want to keep, but it's perfect for weeds growing in cracks in the patio etc.