Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

HairyHandofDartmoor

Cumbria_lass wrote: »

Not surprised you have felt overwhelmed today. At least you went to the party and did what you needed to do. Glad DS2 has made it home safe and well. Hope the tyre is now well and truly sorted out.

redofromstart wrote: »

Didn't want to read and run - I hope you feel better tomorrow too. Sometimes it just all gets a bit too much doesn't it?

beanielou wrote: »

Sorry that thing feel bleugh.
Take care xx

Thank you. Maybe I just need some quiet time. It's been a tiring and emotional five days.

HairyHandofDartmoor

Sun_Addict wrote: »

The letter from your mum sounds so lovely. Did she have an inkling or was it something she did just in case?

Glad you've got DS2 back safe and sound, DS3 will have a whale of a time and will be back with his washing and to look in your fridge/food cupboard at regular intervals.

You're not going to feel better about your mum yet, it's too soon, just take one day at a time, you'll get there eventually xx

Thank you. The letter was dated 2013 so I guess she wrote it just in case.

It was nice to spend time at the weekend with DH, DS1 and DS3 and I'm so glad DS2 is home from Spain. But despite that I've had an awful day day. I must be reallly tired and emotional . Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.

beanielou

Remember that you have had a huge shock to your system apart from
anything else.

HairyHandofDartmoor

Thank you Beanie.

I just found a good article about grief on the internet

https://thegrieftoolbox.com/article/20-ways-get-through-those-bad-days

HairyHandofDartmoor

DS2 has a PIP appointment at 8am this morning. He's a bit stresssed but said he can manage without the money if need be. DH has taken him.

I should do the VAT return today or tomorrow but literally cannot face it. Maybe I can do it on Monday or Tuesday.

I ought to concentrate on the money situation. I've completely taken my eye off the ball since my mum passed away. DH has been earning money and paying the bills (I hope). He says he can manage without me, but I feel guilty. The thought of going into the office and trying to work fills me with dread though .

We tried to keep our long weekend away cheap. We spent around £100 on petrol, but kept costs down by buying it at Mr T and using a 10p off a litre voucher. We ate at the party and at relatives houses so only bought drinks and snacks. We made sandwiches and bought drinks in the supermarket for the journeys. Although we do like to stop for one coffee as travelling is tiring. DH's brother insisted on paying for lunch when we met him.

We bought my stepsister chocolates and Prosecco as a thank you (£10) and bought chocolates for DH's brother (£6). We spent £25 on an anniversary present, card and wrapping paper. Despite trying to do the trip on the cheap we still spent a lot. Partly because DH often eats his sandwiches but then also wants chips or a burger at a service station because he's still hungry and says long drives are tiring and stressful.

HairyHandofDartmoor

We're going away again in around three weeks to drop DS3 at uni so need to find the money for that. He's finally had his official welcome letter with his start date.

We need to buy some things for him too. DS1 says he can have the stuff we bought him for uni so he should be okay for pots and pans etc. I need to get the box out and go through it to see what's in there. But he needs a few more clothes and another duvet so he won't have to bring his duvet home in the holidays.

He's getting a full loan so we don't have to give him any money. There's such a lot to think about.

in_need_of_direction

Cut yourself some slack. You're going through a tough emotional time and doing so well. You need to support yourself as you would an employee in similar circumstances. I hate to have to tell you this but you really aren't Wonder Woman.

As for DH, I get what he's saying. Sometimes I literally eat the miles on a long journey.

Verbatim

He'll likely have to clear his room each holiday and take it home if he's in hall as uni's try to use the rooms for school groups, alumni get togethers or tourists.

beanielou

Check that his Uni dont supply duvets.
DS's did & I had bought one!

jwil

I hope you get some time to look after yourself, you've got a lot on your plate xx