Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

HairyHandofDartmoor

Today I went to the shops first thing because I forgot to get an anniversary present and card at the weekend (my brain isn't working properly at the moment). I managed to find a really nice photo frame in Debenhams and thought I'd put a photo of my dad and stepmum in it. I also got a card and some red wrapping paper.

Since then I've done laundry, folded up washing, ironed nine tops, sorted out DS3's rubbish, put the dishwasher on twice and went for a short walk in the park with DH and DS1. Then I cooked and showered. I didn't sit down until 9pm. I can't sleep unless I'm exhausted so it helps me to be busy.

I've suggested to DH that we go for a short walk in the park every day to build up his fitness. We went today so I hope we can keep it up.

[Deleted User]

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

Today I went to the shops first thing because I forgot to get an anniversary present and card at the weekend (my brain isn't working properly at the moment). I managed to find a really nice photo frame in Debenhams and thought I'd put a photo of my dad and stepmum in it. I also got a card and some red wrapping paper.

Since then I've done laundry, folded up washing, ironed nine tops, sorted out DS3's rubbish, put the dishwasher on twice and went for a short walk in the park with DH and DS1. Then I cooked and showered. I didn't sit down until 9pm. I can't sleep unless I'm exhausted so it helps me to be busy.

I've suggested to DH that we go for a short walk in the park every day to build up his fitness. We went today so I hope we can keep it up.

I totally agree that keeping busy is key, especially when the tiredness results in a good night's sleep:T. Just don't wear yourself out, HH, it's easily done. It's not so long ago that you were laid low with illness that really knocked the stuffing out of you. Take care of yourself, that's an order!:o


I love the idea of a nice photo frame for your dad and stepmum. How lovely to put photos of them inside it. I'm sure they will really appreciate such a thoughtful gift, especially after all you have gone through recently:beer:


Your idea of a short daily walk with DH is a really good one. Being in the fresh air in nice surroundings is a great healer and you and DH regularly spending a bit of time together away from all the stresses of recent events, family issues and work will be really good for you both. Plus, the fitness benefits for him are another reason to do it. I hope it becomes a regular fixture in your busy day:beer:

HairyHandofDartmoor

Thank you Carboot.

enthusiasticsaver

I think talking therapies are a good first step when it comes to bereavements so CRUSE is a great idea for contacting. ADs just numb the grief initially I think. I lost my Dad 25 years ago when my DDs were 6 and 7 and still get choked up now when thinking of things he missed. Being so busy though I postponed the grieving which was not healthy. I am now researching family history and finding it very therapeutic to look through photos of him as a child and young man. You will get there but it will take time. Early days now so be kind to yourself.

sashybo

Just sending hugs HH, you've had such a lot of good advice from everyone here. I can't imagine how you're feeling.

The closest loss I've experienced was my grampa, who was more like my dad as my "dad" has never had anything much to do with my sister or I since my parents divorced. I still think about my grampa most days after 10 years & wish I could visit him to talk about things. I think I just always expected him to be around so it was a total shock to lose him although he was in his 80s.

I hope your daily walk with DH helps you both & that Cruse are helpful too.

HairyHandofDartmoor

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

I think talking therapies are a good first step when it comes to bereavements so CRUSE is a great idea for contacting. ADs just numb the grief initially I think. I lost my Dad 25 years ago when my DDs were 6 and 7 and still get choked up now when thinking of things he missed. Being so busy though I postponed the grieving which was not healthy. I am now researching family history and finding it very therapeutic to look through photos of him as a child and young man. You will get there but it will take time. Early days now so be kind to yourself.

Thank you ES. The hurt never leaves completely I think, it just gets easier to deal with it. My sister died four years ago and I still miss her and wish I could tell her things. It's sad for you that you lost your dad so young. Family history is a good way to help you come to terms with it and get to know your dad better.

sashybo wrote: »

Just sending hugs HH, you've had such a lot of good advice from everyone here. I can't imagine how you're feeling.

The closest loss I've experienced was my grampa, who was more like my dad as my "dad" has never had anything much to do with my sister or I since my parents divorced. I still think about my grampa most days after 10 years & wish I could visit him to talk about things. I think I just always expected him to be around so it was a total shock to lose him although he was in his 80s.

I hope your daily walk with DH helps you both & that Cruse are helpful too.

Thank you Sashybo. My mum was 81 when she died, so like your grampa I knew she wouldn't live for ever, but I hoped she would live to 91 like my great aunt did. It's so hard not to have that special person around any more and to tell them about your day.

I'm trying to focus on the people that I do have left like DH and the DC, my stepdad, my sister and my aunt and uncle. That sounds like I've got loads of people, but I was so close to my mum I feel like there is such a huge hole in my life which I need to fill.

HairyHandofDartmoor

I've had a busy day today.

I did a 40 minute park walk first thing. Then I showered, hoovered the living room, did two loads of laundry, put the dishwasher on, folded up some clean washing, sprayed stain remover and scrubbed some stains on the living room carpet, cleaned the cooker, cleaned the wash basin, wrapped up a baby present and wrote in a card, ironed two tops and then went to the park again with DH and DS1. Now I'm waiting for dinner to cook.

It stops me thinking when I'm busy. I've done 15,274 steps and 62 active minutes so far today. Hopefully it will help me to sleep.

Tomorrow I'm going to Mr T with my stepdad in the morning. We've started going to a different store as we can't bear to go to the same store we used to go to every week with my mum .

DS2 said he went to the Guggenheim in Bilbao today. It's only a week until he comes home .

I hope everyone has had a good day.

[Deleted User]

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

I've had a busy day today.

I did a 40 minute park walk first thing. Then I showered, hoovered the living room, did two loads of laundry, put the dishwasher on, folded up some clean washing, sprayed stain remover and scrubbed some stains on the living room carpet, cleaned the cooker, cleaned the wash basin, wrapped up a baby present and wrote in a card, ironed two tops and then went to the park again with DH and DS1. Now I'm waiting for dinner to cook.

It stops me thinking when I'm busy. I've done 15,274 steps and 62 active minutes so far today. Hopefully it will help me to sleep.

Tomorrow I'm going to Mr T with my stepdad in the morning. We've started going to a different store as we can't bear to go to the same store we used to go to every week with my mum .

DS2 said he went to the Guggenheim in Bilbao today. It's only a week until he comes home .

I hope everyone has had a good day.

Wow, HHOD, what a productive day:eek:. Don't forget what I said yesterday about overdoing it though;).


I had to double check the time of your post when you said you were waiting for dinner to cook as it was already 8.20:eek:. If I ate my main meal that late I'd never sleep. We don't eat all that early but usually about 6 to 6.30. We're both early birds though and are up and about by 6 every morning all year round regardless of whether we have anything specific to do or not. Don't go to bed before 11 though usually. Just how we are I suppose and by 6 in the evening we're well ready for our dinner. OH in particular is just about gnawing at the table if I'm running late with it and it's getting towards 6.30.:rotfl:

Sounds as if your son is having a great time in Spain and having lots of memorable experiences:T. I bet you'll be really pleased to see one another again though.

HairyHandofDartmoor

It's because I can't work at the moment that I'm getting so much done around the house Carboot. The house does need a deep clean because it was a filthy tip.

Dinner was a bit late last night because I was waiting for DH to finish work to go to the park. He's promised to go for a short walk with me every day so he gets healthier (I don't want to lose him too) but the walk turned out to be longer. The hardest thing is getting him out of the door but he enjoys it once he gets in the park.

We remembered to pay our gas/electric payment last night. It's £25 a week but I muzt remember to give them a meter reading today. I don't want to underpay and run up a debt. We should have been using less electricity with DS2 in Spain as he always has his light and laptop on all day.

One good thing about DS3 going away to uni is that we should save electricity as he also has his laptop and light on all day. DS3 says that DS2 wants to move to London in January so the house will be even quieter then .

[Deleted User]

Just did a post and it disappeared:(. Here goes again.

Do any of you lovely people use a slow cooker at all?


My friend is downsizing her home and as a result is giving friends and family all sorts of lovely things. I'm now the happy owner of her used-once Lakeland slow cooker:j. I've never owned one before and would like to give it a go this weekend with a gammon joint. I'm a big pressure cooker fan, I use mine all the time and have always cooked gammon in that. I can't resist my new shiny toy though:rotfl:


I saw a TV prog once where they were slow cooking one and it looked absolutely yummy but I can't remember whether the liquid they used was cider or ginger beer. Definitely one or other though. Has anyone any advice or a recipe using either please? For obvious reasons I never added anything fizzy to the liquid in the pressure cooker.